Mom,
Well here it is again, Jan 4th, the day I hate the most. It's 10:15am... I can still hear the phone that rang 3 years ago at this time. How Dad could only say... "Tom your Mom's down and the paramedics are here. It's not good get over here now."
I barely remember running down the stair to the garage and getting in the car. How I drove I don't even know but I got there. Just in time to see the paramedics walk out with their equipment.It was over before it even started.
Boy was I pissed at God that day and for some time afterwards. I've long since forgiven him... kind of funny too. A little guy like me thinking I have any right to tell God I forgive him. I truly believe though he understands how I felt and what I mean so I'm not too worried.
I still have a hard time stopping by your grave to see you. I'm sorry for that. I guess part of me is holding onto that tiniest thread of denial. You know if I don't see you there then I can fool myself that you aren't gone.
Well I know that doesn't work and I am trying my best to get past that. Just don't ever think for one moment that I don't think of you. God the number of times I catch myself wanting to say, "I gotta call Mom and tell her this."
It hurts not being able to hear your voice and see your smile. At the same time you have no idea how proud I am to be able to say you are my Mom. Yes I said ARE... just because you are physically gone doesn't mean you aren't still here. You'll always be here and I won't ever let that change.
Anyone reading this might ask themselves... "Why would Eragon1021 write this on CherryTAP?" I simply will reply... "Why not?" If you really are true to your heart you can speak your mind without caring what others think. I've never been afraid to tell people how much I love you and it's never gonna change.
So Mom always remember I love you and always think of you. You'll be forever in my heart. A children's book called Love You Forever says it all...
Love you for ever... Like you for always... as long as I'm living, my MOMMY you'll be...
Miss you much,
xoxo
PS... To anyone who reads this... don't wait until it's too late. Bury any hard feelings or grudges you have with loved ones and make each day a memory to treasure. There's no second chances or do-overs in life. So make it count right from the start.
God Bless and Happy new Year.
