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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'Of course.'Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
***************************************************************************************************While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days. "Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding." The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony." "But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it." "Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."
