TimGod's blog: "Writings"

Beauty fades to dust, life is decay because it must. Everything we have will crumble and rust, nothing and nobody in whom we can trust. This world this life just a lie, no love, no hope when we will die. No reason to move or even to try, lost in the pain we just sit and cry, Into the heavens our shouts of anger we hurl, as we watch life's decay unfurl.

Who am I to be? second choice or plan b? To be first in your heart, only used when life falls apart? Always your last resort, Can you not see what you mean to me? How much can one man take, before his will is made to break, cracked under the pressure of being last the clinging sorrow drowns me fast.

By chance twist of fate, two lines cross together binding, they come together with their lives caught up in the whirl, with no chance of unwinding. Bound together now heart to heart, their lives enriched by their part. So wrapped together into one, that in the unbinding brings the rise of one and the fall of the other.

Shattered lives helpful tools for instructional classes Spooning the sugary sweet taste to the masses Sex packaged and sold as works of fiction Gluttonously consuming to feed the addiction With a heart colder than the depths of winter Frozen emotion cracked reality?s jaded splinter Colder than the eyes of a snake ready to strike Still at work earning your place in the third Reich

You worked your way in very fast as to take control and to you only am I bowing, you started first on my emotions, tugging on my heart, to keep my eyes glowing, once done with that you moved on, carved out of my own flesh with bright blood flowing into the flames, dost thou consume the ashes of feeling that once where blowing. Vampire that you are, greedily inhaling all the life that once was showing. Killing me slowly as you gorge, upon my flesh piece by piece, destroying me utterly without knowing.

Flaming red behind my eyes, shading all I behold with evil intent. Tainted hands upon ivory neck clasp, crushing grip to force out gasps. Iron claws with lethal force, tearing life out with no remorse. The body shakes with dying spasms, soul leaning towards the yawning chasm. With life’s last breath a grieving sigh, this is how they die.

searching, seeking, needing, yearning, begging, pleading, trying endlessly to get what you want, but never finding the answer to satisfy, this primal urge driving us to be, to do the things that make us who and we are, relentlessly pushing us to the brink, time and again as we struggle vainly, as helpless thralls to life's willful urges

Sitting there alone in the dark, writhing and gnawing upon their own soul. Hiding themselves from the revealing light afraid of what the truth really is. Devouring the illusion in false reality in which they are trapped. Swilling down the lies like wine and regurgitating it back as vintage truth. The mind creating walls and lies of delusion to protect fragile sanity from shattering under the pressure of the harsh truth. Call me insane if you wish, but I see what your mind hides from you, who then is more mad? Me for facing and surviving or you for living an illusion of reality? At least we who are termed insane have broken out of the closed mind of sanity’s make. So continue on shading the truth, blocking out bad memories, rewriting history in your minds to make reality safe for you to live in. And when your reality comes crashing down and your wall of protection falls in upon your heads, your mind will snap and then you will see the truth of your insanity as I sit there laughing at what I saw coming. I lost my mind long ago. The mind that you all tried to make for me. Welcome home sanity.

Watching with adoring eyes as you ignore me, filled with this endless love that you can’t see. Sitting there next to you, so close yet so far away there is nothing I can do. My heart skipping its pace, as I gaze into your perfect face. If only I had the courage to do, to at least voice what is within my heart.

Stripped of my veil of protection, ripped away the curtain of deception. Revealed for the truth of who I am, the truth that is a lie. In reality all I am is fake, this lie of a life that I decided to make. The truth nothing but a mockery of all, every word and action a false promise from black heart. Welcome to the truth, I am only a lie