Yes I got dumped Tuesday night and Im venting...no she didnt lie tuesday night but did in the past and I forgave her with little work on her part...yet for the last few days she has told me she loved me ETC, and even did so just two hours before slamming me back to reality and breaking my heart by dumping me on my ass....saying shes been trying to figure out a way for days to do it...then why lead me on lying to me making me think everything is ok and that you love me? PLEASE I NEED A COUNSELOR
so with the above being said.....
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR LOVED ONES LIE TO YOU?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
When somoeone who looks at you in your eyes and says they love you lies to you what do you do, do you just forgive and move on in hopes that it never hpapens again???
or
Does trust once given freely have to be earned back?
Well for me if I SAY I LOVE YOU to anyone that automatically means NO LIES! For some people they lie so much that they do not see the forest for the trees and that makes it OK TO LIE ABOUT EVEYRTHING....and to me a LIE IS A LIE, ITS NEVER OK.
Granted, I AM HUMAN...and I have lied, but I DO NOT LIE TO THE ONES I LOVE.
So please ...if your love one lied to you....would they have to deal with LIFE different than it was before the lie? Would they have to EARN that trust back? Would they have to prove they were worht being trusted?
My Analogy:
A relationship where a lie is present is like a HAIL DAMAGED CAR. Let me explain. If you loved your car and it was the best car in the world and it was damaged by hail you would get it fixed ....right? It would take time and effort if you were going to do it yourself...you would have to put in the hours fixing the dents, sanding and painting it till it once gleamed like it did before....but if you just let it be without fixing it, the fact of the matter is it will always be DAMAGED. My point being that a relationship where a LIE is present is just like that car...where once PERFECT AND SHINY it is damaged ( but the difference is a CHOICE you make to fix or not) ....IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS WORTH IT IN YOUR EYES, then fixing it should be work and it should be work that is worth it....whether its difficult or easy the work should go on till the relationship is back to NICE AND SHINY just like the car, which = TRUST IS PRESENT AGAIN.
To me its very simple.....the person who lied should be the one to do the work, whether its a week, two weeks or a month...TRUST ONCE BROKEN HAS TO BE EARNED BACK. With the CAR the SHINYNESS DOESNT JUST COME BACK ON ITS OWN. The dents have to be removed , it has to be repainted and a fresh coat of wax to protect it needs to be put on...and so with the relationship WORK has to be done for the SHINYNESS TO COME BACK.
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK as I AM REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT LIES, LIFE AND LOVE and how its all supposed to be pieced together.
