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WHAT A SOULMATE IS TO ME Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around......your SOULMATE. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition, but only a quiet calmness when they are near. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Jut having them around makes the world a better place. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face, cause you know they are there for you. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a lover who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life. You feel like you are on top of the world and no matter what happens you cannot be knocked off. You feel loved for who you are inside not who you are outside. You find that when you look into that persons eyes you see yourself in there soul. SO NOW I ASK MYSELF WHAT IS A SOULMATE and who fits these qualities? ONCE UPON A TIME (YESTERDAY THIS IS HOW I FELT): All I know is I was never a person like the one I have become until I met you cause you showed my heart what LOVE REALLY IS. You made my days brighter, and nights restful. You gave my heart hope that no matter what I would not be judged but for the person I am, not who someone wants me to be, and for that I gave you my love and my heart...which you crushed and threw in the trashcan like it was nothing. REALITY AS OF NOW( HOW I FEEL NOW): ........but now that I have lost you forever I have come to terms with that fact that even though you may have met some of these qualities....and at one point in time I truly thought you were the one, but now I know that is not the case.....and it was just not meant to be......I can cry no more tears....I can no more go to sleep thinking what if.....you crushed the all of me, when you threw away my heart......now maybe someday I will heal when the hands of my true soulmate saves my heart from the tons of hurt and the bowels of death...a place where you let it die and tried to kill its spirit.....my heart will long for that feeling till that feeling finds my heart....and I wont go looking for that, I will simply let it find me. NOW THE TRUE QUESTION IS WHERE THE HELL IS THIS PERSON?....or have I already let her go?
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