SEDUCTIVE MISTRESS's blog: "when saddness calls"

what the hell am i the whippin boy yeah i dont mind listening to my friends and trying to be there for them any way i can be. but dang it, its not my fault their lives are stressing them or what ever to the point they get nasty and hateful toward me. then expect me to sit there and take it like it doesnt hurt. well it does i love all my friends but damn give me a break i didnt make everything in the world wrong.

I am letting go of the love we had. I am letting go of the love we shared so wildly. I am letting go of the love of my life. I am letting go of the hope of ever getting what i want. I am letting go of all that brings me life. I am letting go of all my dreams. I am letting go of you. I am letting go of the pain iv had from loving you. i am letting go of the dreams i had of us. I have to let go or you will destroy me. I have to walk away or go insane from loving you. you say you love me yet you refuse to show me. you say you want to be with me yet you deny me everything. I am letting go of the love we had. this is for a friend of mine . wish you well hon

did u cry the day i had to leave? did u cry when i kissed you goodbye? I cried! I cried for hours on end. I cried till nothing was clear anymore I cried till the road was a blur! did u cry the day i had to leave? were you tears real? DId you really hate to see me go? I didnt want to leave you ever! i cried till the day turned to night! did you cry or did you run to another? I Cried that day did you cry?

I look in the mirrow everyday so i know what i look like. I dont need someone else putting me down or talking trash about me. I know im a big woman i know whats flabby and whats not. I really dont give a dang if someone thinks i look like crap coz you know what i happen to be a very beautiful person on the inside even on the internet im a beautiful person. I dont have to show my body to get rated. hell if i had to show my body for that id never get rated. I refuse to change who i am just to make a few ppl online happy. i am always honest if you dont like it dont talk to me. I dont talk crap to ppl personaly i have a man. I happen to be very faithful. i dont need to screw around with someone else online to make me feel better about myself or how things are in my real life. I dont have to tell anyone what size my breast are coz frankly its no ones biz but mine and my b/fs and yes he happens to be on this site as well.

I give up I have loved you forever. I have given you all i have to give. never am i good enough for you to show the world you love me. I promised id never make my own blood flow again. but why should i keep that promise when you dont keep yours to me. As i sit here in the dark writting to you i make first one cut then another. watching as a red pool starts to gather around my hand. I give up pretending, praying . I wont ask for things you are to ashamed to give. you denied me what i asked for what iv begged for so now I will punish me in the way you cant stand. its not to get back at you. its simple a way to end things. i give up on loving you or you loving me. I cant type much more . blood is going all over the keyboard. I must bid you farewell while there is still life in my body. farwell for always my love

I give up I have loved you forever. I have given you all i have to give. never am i good enough for you to show the world you love me. I promised id never make my own blood flow again. but why should i keep that promise when you dont keep yours to me. As i sit here in the dark writting to you i make first one cut then another. watching as a red pool starts to gather around my hand. I give up pretending, praying . I wont ask for things you are to ashamed to give. you denied me what i asked for what iv begged for so now I will punish me in the way you cant stand. its not to get back at you. its simple a way to end things. i give up on loving you or you loving me. I cant type much more . blood is going allover my keys. i must bid you farwell foralways

Today is a very sad day in the town i grew up in. My little sleepy country town turned red today as the blood of innocents flowed down the main street. Today two police officers where gunned down for no reason. Guns emptied into their bodies. This left wives widows , children fatherless. families to mourn for something that shouldnt have happened. Along with the officers two EMTS where gunned down. luckly for them and their families they lived. My town went on lock down for hours with a town in mourning. How does this happen in a little town. I knew both of the officers and the emts that where shot. It saddenes my heart greatly over the loose of these people. One of the men i went to school with. one i went to church with my whole life. When we got the call that officers were down my heart jummped i have family that are police officers. My town was turned up side down by visitors from out of state. these visitors left awake of tears with their depart. may god be with the families of the men lost today.

Take my hand and follow me! I will show you a world you have never seen. A world filled with darkness and tears. A world that is real and true. A world that is the reality of who we are. Take my hand and follow me! I will show you a world you have never seen. Hold on tight while i take you through this dark cold tunnel. Can you hear the pittifully cries that start to stir? Listen can you hear the sounds of dispare all around. Listen close and you can hear the howls of the wounded, the lost , the confussed. Listen! Listen! Take my hand and follow me! I will show you a world you have never dared to explore. See the hazy light ahead? Hold me hand tighter and I'll lead the way through this world of yours. Can you see the fears of life ahead? Can you see the punishment man feels they deserve? Can you see the selfpitty? Can you see the lowselfestem? ca n you see the low self worth? Take my hand and follow me! I will show you a world you have never dared to visit. Can you see the way you live. Can you see the unhappiness you try so hard to hide. Can you see the mask you try so hard to wear? Can you see the lies you have told ? Can you see the pain you have because you are unhappy with who you are? Take my hand and follow me! I will show you a world you will never want to visit again! Can you see what you have done to those who love you? Can you see them slowly start to turn their backs on you and walk slowly a way one by one. Look there even goes the one whos tried to be there for you. the one that has loved you alife time yet your to blind to see. Take my hand and follow me! I will show you the world you try to hide away. I will show you the word that LIVE in you.

Hear the pleas of my heart beg for you to stop tormenting me this way. hear the silent cries my heart makes at night as it longs for this suffering to end. Hear the mournfully pleas beating from every beat of my heart. stop this maddness. only you have the power to stop the maddness thats has over taken me. I cant think clearly when you are near. when i hear your voice all i can do is remember. remember things sometimes best left in the darkness. things that should never be taken out and felt ever again. i beg of you tormentme no more set me free from the bonds you have on me. let me be free to feel and think without this haze all around me. torment me no more

this month is child abuse awareness month. Children are so precious and sweet how could anyone dare to hurt one of gods earthly angels? I myself lost a daughter over 4 years ago to a form of child abuse. you see my lil red head girl was an identical twin. when they were 2 and a half months i came home and found My daughter skyler not breathing. later i found that her father had shaken her to deah while i was gone. This is one of any mothers worst nightmares. I sat in a hospital with my daughter for days with her in a coma. Ihave to say the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life was sit and hold my daughter as the hospital took her off life support. Praying for a miricale i sat 11 mins with tears streaming down my face and rocking my daughter. My skyler faught 11 mins for her life. After my daughter died i found out that children as old as five can die from baby shaken syndrome . They dont tell you when your child is born how to keep them safe from things you never would have thought would harm them. If you have any doubts at all that someone could hurt your child please i beg of you dont let them near your child.