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oldermaster4u's blog: "To My Friends"

created on 08/06/2007  |  http://fubar.com/to-my-friends/b112298
Subject: Having a Bad Day???? > > > > In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same >bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m. , regardless of their >medical condition. >This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do >with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the >deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of >experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. > > The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m. , all of the >doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for >themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were >holding >wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects >to ward off the evil spirits. > > Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday >sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he >could use the vacuum cleaner. > >Still Having a Bad Day???? > > The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil >spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. >At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were >being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from >onlookers. > > A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. > > Still think you are having a Bad Day???? > > A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking >frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running >from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away >from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, >breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily >listening to his Walkman. > >STILL think you're having a Bad Day???? > > Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs >to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand >pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. > > The two helpless protesters were trampled to death. > >What?? STILL having a Bad Day???? > > Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough >postage on a letter bomb. It came back with >'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it >was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. > >There now, feeling better????
THE PLAN!! > >> Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says 'I love New York ' in Arabic > > > > > > > You gotta love Robin Williams.... > > Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin > > Williams to come up with the perfect > > plan. What we need now is for our > > UN Ambassador to stand up and > > repeat this mess age. > > > > Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to > > argue with his logic!) > > > > 'I see a lot of people yelling for peace > > but I have not heard of a plan for > > peace. So, here's one plan.' > > > > 1) The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their > affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, > Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys'. We > will > never 'interfere' again. > > > > 2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with > Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the Philippines . They don't > want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed > sneaking through holes in the fence. > > > > 3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and > leave. > We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be > gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they > are. > They're illegal!!! France will welcome them. > > > > 4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days > unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be > allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide > here. Asylum would never be available > > to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers. > > > > 5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If > they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home, baby. > > 6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. > This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will > require > a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness . The caribou will > have to cope for a while . > > > > 7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for > their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go > somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells > filling > up the storage sites would be enough.) > > > > 8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will > not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, > cement > or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or > given > > to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything. > > > > 9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need > the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make > a > good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens. > > > > 10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can > call us, 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is > ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan? > > > > 'The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, > your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you > want > a piece of me?' ' > > > > If you agree with the above forward it to friends...If not, and I would be > amazed, DELETE it!!
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