talldirtyblonde's blog: "This is definately NSFW"

English..........I Love You Spanish..........Te Amo French...........Je T'aime German...........lch liebe dich Japanese.........Ai shite imasu Italian..........Ti Amo Chinese..........Wo al nin Swedish..........Jag alskar Hillbilly........Nice ass get in the truck

Q. Why do men become smarter during sex? A. Because they are plugged into a genius Q. Why don't women blink during sex? A. They don't have enough time Q. Why does it take 1 Million sperm to fertilize one egg? A. Because they don't ask for directions Q. Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A. Because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock. (You're laughing, aren't you!?!) Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they won't hump women's legs at parties Q. Why did God make man before woman? A. You need a rough draft before the final copy Q. How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down? A. Don't know....it's never happened (come on we laugh at your blonde jokes) Q. Why did God put men on earth? A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn or fix the car

A father and his son go into the grocery store and come upon the comdom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies: "Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you are in highschool. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night." The son then asks his father, "What's the 6-pack for?" The father replies: "Well that's for when you are in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night and 2 for Sunday morning." The son asks his father what the 12-pack was for. The father replies: "Well, that's for when you are married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.......

An old man lived alone in Alabama. He wanted to spade his potato garden but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES!!! Love, Bubba At 4A.M. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatos now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Bubba

A trucker stops for a red light and a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window, and again she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde. He knockes on her window, and as she lowers it he says: "Hi, my name is Kevin! It's winter here in Wisconsin and I'm driving the damn SALT TRUCK!"