The Guy's blog: "Things I Write..[comment/rate if you like pls!]"

You make me fall
You make me bleed
You make me feel like this is what I need
My falling star
My blinding light
Radiating, you shine oh so bright
You're my hope
You're my dream
Eternally torn at the seam

I would travel any distance
Just to see the compassion in your eyes
I cannot comprehend
You make my will twisted,
Only for you it would bend
I don't know if I could feel like this again
But I cannot fathom this time
Why your words are wasted on me
Because I cannot make you mine
Even if all the stars align

Through Me

A reality so realistic:
I can touch it, taste it.
I've made a deal with the devil
And it's torn me to pieces.
A sick, beautiful sense in which I revel,
Welcoming a reality in the stars.
No matter how distant,
I feel your pain coming through me.
What you see is what you get.
Nothing but a frigid pile of scars.

Behind closed doors
I tried to make things right.
Can't seem to forget everything
That cuts right through me
I'm blinded by these shadows and voices
Stricken by all my unacceptable choices
Caught between the bridges I burn and divide
Through me, I'll let you fly away and hide.

A few semesters ago, I took an english writing course. My english teacher allowed us to turn in poetry, stories, anything to do with literature for extra credit. She approached me in the South building while I was waiting for my College Algebra class and asked me if I would write a poem about matters of the heart. For a happy, upbeat person, she really liked my dark style of writing. She entered it into a contest. So I thought I would share it with everyone else. :)

My Serpentine

My only desire was to hide
To ebb the ache inside
I can hear the voices laughing at my demise
Forced to walk alone
Broken into pieces like my only home
Nothing left of this man
Nothing left, not even pride
My memories thrown awry
I feel like it's eating me alive
Helping me die inside
Nothing but remnants of a broken man
I feel I've done all I can
This infection was just a lie

I've lost all the vital parts of me
Feeling the light, sense of smell
No longer blind but I cannot see
Of these consiquences I can't repent
A path I cannot believe I let myself follow
All you were was a serpent

Just a shell, so empty and hollow
I believed you again and again
Never again can I hide
In the shadows of your genocide
This is one memory that won't be lost
I am an infection that must die
And I will take you with me
No matter what the cost

When youre on the edge and falling off
It's so hard to make yourself stop
Just when I thought again, I could feel alive
The world around me simply up and died 
I couldn't save myself in time
Wound so tight I can't define 
My heart is serpentine 

Maybe

For the first time in ages
To calligraphy and literature I turn
Like forgotten art, I feel faded
I'd sooner wish to burn
Animosity, Anxiety.. Virulency
Into one, everything rushes together
Though it seems like the first time in forever
I've found something I just couldn't weather

Tortured, tormented by this obsticale, distraught.
Nothing left but a broken shield, and a shattered sword,
If I go, will people remember me?
My greatest odds are: Probably not
Love and pain, are the only reasons it seems I write
Everything lost, nothing left to gain
There's nothing left for me in which to fight

Am I at the end of my rope?
It feels like I've lost all hope
For what, you may be curious to know
Maybe one day, someone will ache for me
Maybe someday, someone will remember me
But I know that wanted day will never show

Broken Wings

Once upon a time,
I soared through the sky.
Without a care in the world,
You were the one to make me fly.
Like an endless sea,
Your love stretched across
As far as the eye could see.

You were a fresh start
Something new,
Innocent and true.
Then you took it from me
Everything that made me fly
Body and mind completely shattered
Heart and soul torn a part,
As I fell from the sky.

But nothing mattered.
Wings broken and tattered
Feathers ripped and scattered
No more would these wings take flight
Falling to earth in the dead of night,
No longer could I see the light.

Rarely do I pray for myself..
But this time I must,
Before this life turns to dust,
For your loving soul to pull me from the rain
For your love, to heal these broken wings
And help me fly once again..

I don't really know what to name this, But in the last week, several people I thought were close to me have ignored me and made me feel like I'm of zero importance in their life. I always tried to make those who make me feel special, feel the same. Though, the gender roles of the world are changing. It's so sad to see this happening.

I guess its easy to tell,
Just by the way I feel
That I picked my poison well
Emotions never really heal
You were my eyes
You were my ears
You make a matter of moments;
Seem like years

All I want,
Is the end of this bleeding..
This heartache.
Yet, Still I'm waiting,
With everything at stake.
Is it corruption I'm seeking?
Or maybe testing these bonds,
To see if they break..

I could never get by
This system of equasions
Racking my brain
A better off innovation
What's with my loyalty?
Even so my trust and shame?
In over my head,
I've been drowned by this game.

I'm not sure where to go,
Or what's even left to do..
Despite everything said
Or anything ever done
Even to this day
I'd still die for you.

So Cold

Will you be there,
Saving me, lost inside again
Broken, forsaken and imperfect
Frozen in time
In a world that is so cold
I just wanna run away
This tourniquet just wont hold
Into the nothing I've gone a stray

With or without me
Just give me a sign
With or without you
I've been left behind
I feel like i'm losing my mind

Broken a part again but unified
Return to me salvation,
Or will I be denied?
Livin' in the shadows with no soul
I walk a long this road all alone
I feel like I lost again this time

Trapped inside this hole
Can't seem to get away;
I'm completely paralyzed
Come back, don't go away
It's been so long
I've grown so pale
I haven't yet died
Pull me out of this hell

All the guilt and the shame hangs over me
Like a dark ominous cloud; the pain,
You keep me together when I've come undone
I could never look down on you
Even in a sea of familiar faces
Scattered among remembered places
It wasn't so hard to find the virtue in you

I honestly didn't think i'd find a reason to write. I don't even know why I wrote this one. It has no muse, or inspiration behind it. Idk. Maybe BC Awareness. My compassion is pretty great. Who knows. No dedication, maybe it'll give you something or someone reflect on. Enjoy.

Reason To Live

I remember being so in love with you
How could I forget?
This was a reason to live
Like fangs in my neck
This desire inhuman;
Pledging my soul devotion to you
How could I forget?

Hold me closer
Put me more at ease
Cuz I've forgotten who I was
I've lost the Will in me
My guilt consumes, please forgive
Help me up from my guillotine
As I fall to my knees
It gives me a reason to live

Desensatized by the lies of the world
Jubilation in my salvation
You are a reason to live
I don't need much more than this
Not much left to give
But you need more than this
You are my reason to live

This is the last poem I write quite possibly for the rest of the year. Or atleast until I have a good enough reason. Thanks to everyone who viewed commented and rated them over the last year.

Scars

So ends a chapter in my life
But with the end another begins
Decades spent in strife
Wading through turmoil
Trying to atone for my sins
These hands were never perfect
I never claimed them to be such
Even for being so young
How could I ever hurt so much
It's not really the hurt that matters
My heart still remains whole
But what has ended this chapter
Are the scars left on my soul

A wise man once said
"Only reality is what is real"
This man obviously never knew loss
Never knew what it was like to feel
It's not about heart break
It's about the way the world turns;
About another one left in the dirt.
The world left stained.
The unworldly scars of man
This pain cannot be contained

I'm not sure where else to go
These scars were a jounrey on their own
Old wounds left opened;
Nothing left to sew.
Wind blown sand creeping over the horizon
Another one falls;
To them he calls
For nothing in this world is worth dying
For over and over;
These lost souls are left crying