RonStryker's blog: "stryker_beyonds lil rants"

As most of you know my grandfather passed away Oct 15 this year. It has taken me this long to really be able to write about it. As most of you know he had been in the hospital since May. He went in the day I got out of the hospital for my own surgery. On Oct 15 I was sitting here at home like always. My sister called me at around 11 am. I knew something was wrong by the fact that she is a teacher and was calling me at such a early time. Grandfather had been struck by a infection that quickly took its toll on him. With having been in the hospital so long infections were gonna happen and had. This one however had taken into his lungs and the docs needed us at the hospital. My sis, mother and I made the trip and once we got there sis and I were taken into a room to conference with his docs. We realized the end had come and it was time to not be selfish on our part but to let him go into Gods hands. We gave the docs our decision and we only asked he be in no pain. We went back into the room. I noticed right away that there was alot of hospital personel in his room and in the hall outside. They undid the machines and gave him some morphine for pain. I said what I needed to to him and that is for me. He passed painlessly when the Lord reached down for his new angel. I then saw through my own tears some of the staff crying. I asked one of the people there why so many staff was there and why some would be crying. She said that grandfather had been there so long that many of them could not help but grow attached to him. Even in the worse time of his life he had still touched others lives. We called the funeral home he had worked at for the last 28 years to come get him and take him back home. They got there and made sure he got the dignity he so rightfully deserved. They were crying as well. He was almost at the funeral home everyday even when he was not working. If to do nothing else but have a Mt Dew and a pack of nabs that he always kept stocked there for everyone. My sis and I had decided already that he would not be going through a autopsy. He had had enough done to his body and there was no need for anymore. We had the funeral on Oct 18th. I saw alot of people that grandfather had touched through his 85 years. I had met many of them before with grandparents having raised my sis and I. It was nice to see so many honoring my grandfather. We did a graveside service and like grandfather would want it was kept short and sweet. People from surrounding funeral homes had sent some of their staff to honor him as well. I cannot thank my fiance Sandy and the kids for helping me and the rest of the family through a very hard day. I cried alot of tears on their shoulders that day. I still find it hard to look at a picture of him or think of him and not get choked up. I know it will get better with time. Again it has taken me this long to do this blog. I am still rehabbing my back. I now go for 4 hours a day in physical therapy. My lower back is still in pretty bad shape and if things are not better by the end of these sessions then we will have to do other tests. If nothing can be done then I am gonna be with this pain for life. That would suck. I can only hope for the best and do my best. I hope everyone has a safe holiday season. I know we will look at this xmas very different. Thanksgiving felt like there was a empty seat that will never be filled again. My sis and I no longer have the people who raised us. Both grandmother and grandfather are gone. We now have each other to fall back on and of course our families. I will try and be better about keeping the blogs updated. I just needed this time for myself. I know you can understand that. To all my friends and family you have my love always.

I had a appt. this morning with the doctor that did my back surgery. He wants me to continue with physical therapy. I am still not where I need to be with my shoulder and neck muscles. He also ordered a Cat Scan for my lower back. When I first got hurt my lower back has been in pain but we hoped that it was cause by the problems from the disc in my neck. That may not be the case because it still has not improved and he wants to make sure that I had not popped a disc down in my lower back at the same time. Not to mention when I told him about it way back at the beginning of all this he said he could only treat one injury at a time anyway. So that is what I have to look forward to. After my visit to my doctor I went to see grandfather at the hospital. Luckly my back doc is in the same city at where grandfather has been. I got there around 8:30 this morning. He was still asleep so I just tried to straighten things in the room a little and then got a idea on his schedule for the day. I ran into the physical therapy people who work on him and asked if they could go ahead and work with him since they could not friday cause of dialysis. They were more than happy to do this and I let them know how much I appreciated that. Today he got something new to do. They used what is called a Tilt Table to actually stand him up. What happens is he is strapped to this bed basically and it tilts and supports him so he is upright. They did not go fully straight up and down for the simple fact is he has laid on his back since May and the sensation could actually make him dizzy. He tolerated it fairly well and did the things he was asked as best he could. After maybe a half hour or so he had enough of that and they put him back in bed. The look on his face each time they put the table either up or down was kinda cute. He had the WOW look go across his face. Kinda like "Well this is new" yanno. Once he was back in bed and situated I spent some time with him and then I needed to get home. I needed my own meds and driving today I of course could not take them. Talk about loopy lol. I made sure he was as comfortable as could be and then got back here around 1 or so. Sis will be going tonight. Speaking of Sis. Sandy and I went over to her house last night and had a nice dinner of ribs and baked potatoes. It was damm good and it was nice to spend time with her and my brother in law and not to mention my lil nephew. Got home around 8 and watched the WWE PPV SummerSlam. All in all it has been a good day so far. Thanks everyone for keeping my family and myself in your thoughts as always. Wishing you all the very best. Ron

Fridays Trip To The Hospital To See Grandfather Hey all my friends out there. I could not go much of the week to see grandfather until friday due to my own therapy. Which by the way is going ok. Though I gotta admit is whooping my ass at times. The muscles on the left side of my shoulders and neck are being slow to recover while the right is pretty much good to go. After two cervical fusions I guess you get what you can. On to grandfather though. Sis and I went friday and as luck would have it soon as we get there he is already on dialysis. Sure enough his physical therapy people were there to work with him and could not. His case worker were there and all of us were trying to figure out why in the hell dialysis was there at 6 am when they should not be there till in the afternoon hours. Reason being is so he has the strength to do his physical therapy,speech therapy, and other things that he needs to be doing while he has the strength to do it. So basically he was on dialysis till around noon and that pretty much had him spent the rest of the day. He slept till almost 4 and that gave us a hour with him awake. I hated the fact that he had to miss out on the things that he needs to get done to get to whatever is going to be his best. He has developed a infection in his blood this week and they are trying to track it down. They are not sure if it has come from all the lines that have been in him for so long or if it has come from just being in the hospital since may. Yesterday he also spiked a fever of 101. Which for someone in his condition is not good at all. I guess we are back to 1 step forward and 2 back again. I saw yesterday something in my grandfathers face I had never seen before...fear. In my life I have never seen that look on his face. He has always been a stoic and proud man. Any of my friends that have met him can attest to that. When grandmother(his wife) died he remained the strong figure of the family. His brother died and still was the man who acted more worried about everyone else than showing his true emotions. Remeber he grew up in a era where men did not show their emotions and he lived a hard life growing up. He was born in 1922 so he has seen alot. Still that look yesterday made my soul weep. I held his hand and kissed his forhead and try to make him understand that it was going to be ok. That we loved him and he was still our grandfather. Honestly I don't know if that was grandfather looking scared. Some of you know he has developed that deliruim from being in the hospital for so long. Whatever the case it still hurt my heart so much to see him like that. Not that everyday does not hurt but yesterday that look really just hurt yanno. By the end of the visit he squeezed my hand which has become our way of doing hugs. I took some joy from that much. As most of you know it has been a hard road. I cannot thank you all so much for that support you give. I know I say it alot on here but it really means and makes a difference. I wanna send a shout out to my friend Jason who took the time last week to listen to me on the phone do a whole lot of venting. Jason and my life have taken different roads but last week he stepped up and let me really get alot of stuff off my chest and I cannot thank him enough. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Be safe and again thanks. Ron

Hey everyone and hope all my friends are having a good weekend so far. As everyone of you know by now I have been dealing with my grandfathers hospital stay since May. He had surgery and as you know it has not been good ever since. We have had little victories here and there but overall its been a battle day in and out for grandfather physically and mentally for my sis and I. We have watched the man who raised us go from being jovial,hardworking(at 85 years old mind you),loving and the remaining monarch of the family to a shell of weakness,inability to communicate, cannot eat foods and so many other things that if you have kept up with my blogs well then yanno. Yesterday would be considered a victory day. He had a good day. We arrived at around 10 and they had already had him in a recliner for a hour. Of course there has to be alot of special cushions for him. His body is so frail and frankly covered in skin tears that anything can cause him discomfort or cause another spot on his skin to bust open. When that happens he will bleed for a couple days from that spot. He is still wearing bandages on one spot dated back to 22 of last month. They want to make sure they scab totally over. Then with his weight and strength so low he cannot tolerate what weight his body does have for long. So 15 minutes after we got there he indicated he did not like being in the chair anymore. Which that in itself was nice to see. Instead of the blank stare that you all know we have seen so much of. On another good note he wore his Passy Muir valve almost all day yesterday. Now that is the thing that fits over the end of his trach that comes out his throat and it allows him to vocalize. Again strength and not using his vocal cords in sooooooo long has left them in bad shape. Still we could understand a few words like yes,no, back, and a couple others. Basically we got the gest of what he meant sometimes. Sometimes it came out as no more than low slow grunts or moans but he was trying and even tried to put words together. His speech therapist came in and they did a swallow test on him. What happened was she brought in a plate of food and put a camera down his nose and watched him try to swallow. Not to mention she could see how his vocal cords and windpipe were doing and if he was having a problem getting phlem out of his throat. Turns out that sometimes he ends up with phlem basically caught above his trach. So when they suction out his trach this stuff does not come out. However she did say that when you take the Passy Muir off that this stuff will drop down and he can cough it out his trach. So sis and I watch her doing this test and sis actually fed him the things the doc asked. Everything had blue food dye in it to see it better by the way. So we started with ice chips and he seemed somewhat ok with that. Then came apple sauce and next some skim milk and juice and lastly pudding. Each thing was going up in thickness. This whole time all of us are watching on a TV what the camera is seeing. Even grandfather seemed engaged as he watched the process too. I also want to point out this is the first time since his surgery he has had any kind of food in his stomach. He seemed to enjoy the taste of what we gave him. He wanted to take his time swallowing. Sadly though the test did show that he is not yet ready for food. He could end up swallowing food into his windpipe and not to his stomach. The epoglotis (I know its not spelled right but you get the meaning)is a flap that closes so that food and air each go where they need to. Sometimes food gets pass that and we all know how that feels. We cough it back up. With grandfather he might not even realize that food has gone into the wrong spot and be able to cough it up. They are going to do exstensive therapy for the next 2 weeks on his throat and retest him in two weeks. The thing to gain from all this is that we know there is goal to reach on that front. We have so many goals and now another one. Sis and I dont mind one bit. The staff has been behind grandfather and has become a cause for many of them. There is a personal interest in him not just on a patient level but a almost deeper meaning. I don't know if I can really explain it and give it justice. On a bad note one of the bed sores on his back has begun to tunnel as they say. Which we take to mean it is getting deeper and worst. Now the have to literally pack in gauze and bandages to this area. They are looking into getting a wound vac for his back. This will pull dead skin away from the wound and keep the area clean. Modern technology gotta love it. On another note I found what maybe a cyst forming on his foot. I showed my sis and we got his nurses in to show them and they moved it around and grandfather showed no signs of discomfort. It has been noted to be looked at and just another thing to add to the list. So yesterday was a good day compared to so many bad ones. Those prayers you all have been saying may and I think have been making a difference. Keep them coming and again I cannot thank you enough for the support you all give. On a personal note I want to send a shout out to my "Midnight Riders Express" partner Robbie. Bro it was so fucking great to hang out with you last night and gave me a much needed boost that you cannot fathom. Btw hope that hehe thing worked out for last night. Yanno what I mean ROFL. Jason hope your up and moving around. We both have shit to work through and I think we will be fine in the end. Big fight night tonight with UFC. I see GSP winning. Brock Lesnar in a slug fest and winning and Kenny Florian getting a tap out victory. Well I think that's all I have for right now. You all have my love and deepest appreciation for what you have shown and given me over these dark months. I will not forget it. Ron

Well it is about time I had some good news to put up about grandfather. We had a meeting with the staff that is taking direct care of grandfather. As most of you know he had heart surgery almost 3 months ago and its been a hard battle to say the least. Just a few days ago he got moved from being in ICU for the past 2 1/2 months to the next lower level. He is not in any immediate danger right now. Which as most of you know is a vast improvement. The meeting went rather well. We asked that everyone got on the same page on his care. From physical therapy to voice therapy to everyday things he needs done to help him. The meeting has already gotten results. They put up a set of goals everyday that are to be met by his nurses and for those from each therapy. This way no one can say again "Well I am new so I don't know what he does". One thing that bugged my sis and I was uh damm there is over 2 months worth of notes on him. How can you not know anything about him? Anyway the past couple of days has shown good improvement. His condition. Here is another point of good news. It may not sound like much but for all of you that have followed his journey along with us will recognize what I mean. Today and yesterday he did something he has not done since his being in the hospital. He sat in a chair. Now of course he did not get up and do it the physical therapy people picked him up and sat him in a special chair to cushion his body. He seemed to like it and mentally it had to be a boost for him. To actually be in a position other than laying down. Not to mention I am sure this new attention might start help sparking those stimulants I mentioned in previous blogs. Maybe in his mind he can think that "Hey I am doing something. They have me doing things". They tried the voice plug yesterday but no one could understand what he was saying and he did get visually upset and gave up.Today before I got there they said he actually said a few words. One therapist gave him a massage at his shoulders and they said the grin on his face was awesome. That to me is great. To be getting a positive reaction after so long and so many bleaker times. They are now keeping his glasses on him all day and they said when he is really alert he seemed anxious to do what they asked. So some good things have come around this week. We know this is just small steps but as most of you know these steps seem rather nice. Of course he is not out of the woods and he has a long way to go. The docs still cannot say when he will really be ready to take on the hard things. That is still far down the road. For now we all will take these small victories with him and rejoice when we can. Sandy got her release today from her doctor. She has been chomping at the bit to get back to work. She has been a real trooper with what she went through and I am so proud of her. I love her to pieces and am thankful she has come through her ordeal the better. She has to take me in tomorrow for my physical therapy. Well I think that's a decent update for right now. I still cannot thank everyone enough for all the prayers. Everyone that has been giving support are heroes. God bless each of you. Ron

My sis and I went and saw grandfather today. Some things have improved to a degree. He has been moved from ICU after 2 1/2 months to the next level down intermediate. The one good thing is we can now stay with him basically long as we want. We have put up a bunch of pics on one wall for him to look at. The room is not too big and with all the machines they still use on him it can get crowded. He was awake today while we were there. We put his glasses on him and he enjoyed being able to see what was going on. A couple times he seemed to recognize who we were and then other times he just had that same look of just going with the flow. We have a tape player in his room and we played some of his music we brought from home. We keep trying to give him every stimulant we can to get his mind going again on the right track. I saw his bed sores today really good today and it almost brought tears to my eyes. The ones on his back and bottom are just hideous and if he could speak I would not be surprised if he would not scream. They were redoing his bandages and applying ointments and it hurt my sis and I to see him having to go through so much. The plastic surgeons still want to hold out of doing anything until he is more along. I kinda understand the thought on that. He has been laying in a bed this whole time and if they do fix it and then a few weeks later right back where we started. Still I want to know what relief we can give him. We had a meeting today with some of the nurses admins. We discussed trying to get the entire staff working on him to all be on the same page. To have a better plan and goals for him when they are working on him. The nurse that had him today did not know his history and that struck as really stupid. With someone in his condition there should be plenty of notes from nurses and docs all the way. That is going to be taken care of as well. It's kinda hard but right now grandfather is in a state of flux almost. He is well enough to be out of ICU but still needs almost special attention. The room and floor he is on is meant for people that might be going home in the next couple weeks. There really is no place for him. Even the doctor admitted that. He has speacial needs and is kinda inbetween what both floors provide. We are also going to get his voice therapy and the other therapys inline. He will not get any better unless these things are done everyday. Hopefully with todays and tomorrow another meeting that all this will be taken care of. Sandy has been recovering from her surgery pretty nicely. She is chomping at the bit to get back to work. She is a lil sore still and that's to be expected. Still we had a good weekend with the girls and that was nice. She goes back this weds to the docs to get her release she hopes. I still can't thank everyone enough for giving myself and my family so much encouragement. It has truly been a blessing. Thanks again so much. Ron Stryker

Hey fans its been another crazy weekend. This past friday I had to take Sandy in for emergency surgery. She had to get her gall bladder taken out. It was supposed to be taken out on the 29th but well it decided it was ready to go. We went to the same hospital that I had my surgery and the same one where grandfather is still in ICU at. Can you tell none of us trust our local hospital when we will go 3 counties away lol. She handled it pretty well and she was let go yesterday moring. It's amazing how easy they can do some surgeries now. She has just a few lil cuts where they took it out. She will be back to work next week. (Though she wanted to go back sooner.) I began the rehab therapy for my own surgery. Gotta get the muscles built back up in my shoulders and neck again. They are still saying that I will not be able to lift over 50lbs after all this. I am gonna give it my best to beat those odds. Though now with arthritis landing where my previous cervical fusion was and now this new fusion well they might be right. Which at this point I am not sure what I will be able to do as far as work. I still say if my arms and legs can move I will do something. Let's be honest also when you look like I do it's hard to get good desks jobs. Though I can hide my skin art pretty well. Still its just another thing to man up and beat. While I was at the hospital with Sandy I spent so much of my time running between her room and my grandfathers. While Sandy was being admitted to a room friday night or saturday morning on how you look at it. I went and saw grandfather at 4 am in the morning. Sure enough he was wide awake and staring at the ceiling in his dark room. I got his glasses and put them on his head. Almost that second you could see him adjusting his eyes. Now the man that I was in the room with was not grandfather right then. I could see in his face their was no recogination of me. That was fine I have gotten used to it.(Sadly) So I went ahead and got some picture albums out that we have left in his room for this very thing. Before I started showing him pics I could see he was enjoying having the glasses on and not seeing everything as a blur. I started showing him pics and I watched his eyes as I pointed out people. Good thing I watched him track where I pointed to and he seemed interested in the pics. Maybe it will began to spark things whereever his memory is trapped right now. When my visit was over I took the glasses and put them up again. I could see the look on his face like he hated that. Sadly we cant leave them on because his skin tears would form there where the eye holders are. He is already covered with skin tears on his body and we see no need to cause anymore on his face. His other ones on his face have healed and least we can leave him without the tears there. By the time of my next visit at around 11 am saturday Sandy was in surgery so I ran to his room again and he was semi awake. I did the usual things I do when I am with him. Told him the day and time and weather and checked to make sure the nurses have been doing the things they are supposed to. Which means I had a couple things I had to do for him. They can't remeber everything. I put the glasses on him again and talked to him. He stared sometimes at me and some just forward blankly. Then before I was fixing to leave he reached out and slowly grabbed my hand. I could have burst with crying right then. That's the first thing he has done like that since the day of his surgery 2 1/2 months ago. I stayed awhile longer and the nurses did not complain once. Then again like I said before in blogs we do have some liberties that most don't. He drifted off into sleep and I layed his hand down with a warm smile on my face. The rest of the weekend was spent running between both people I love in my life. When Sandy slept I went to his room. When she was awake I stayed with her and looked after her. Mind you this was doing my own health issues no good at all. I had not taken my meds with me or my neck collar when I took Sandy in friday night. SOOO YEAA by the time we got home yesterday I was pretty much hurting big time. I loaded up on my meds and had to contain myself from going past prescribed doisage lol. Today they are putting grandfather in something new they call "The Pink Cadlillac". It's a chair specially designed and cushioned for someone with his body problems right now. This will be the first time he will have been sat up and out of a bed since before his surgery. I hate missing it but I had to go to my therapy today and after I was done this morning frankly I needed to call it a day. Not to mention I am still taking care of Sandy also. Sis is up there with him and I will be going back with her tomorrow. Still this is another good stepp for him. More stimulation for his mind and body. It can only help. Ok fans I am gonna get other things done. I just wanted to let everyone know what happened this weekend. Again I wanna thank everyone for the prayers you all have been sending towards us. I love and cherish everyone in his corner and the entire families as well. Always leave a message and I will answer them quick as possible. Ron Stryker

Hey everyone that has been giving my family all those prayers for my grandfather. Wanted to let everyone know whats been going on. He is still in ICU and has been for the past 2 1/2 months. It continues to be 2 steps forward and one back. This week during the visits we have found out that he has not had a stroke since the heart surgery. We thought maybe something had gone wrong with him still not moving his left side. It just comes down to him being so week. Least that's the docs theory. He still is in and out of the delirium of being in the ICU so long and not being able to communicate and having so much done to his body. This past Monday our grandfather was actually the one we saw. He wanted to talk and it was hard to see him giving up frustrated because we could not understand him. By the next visit he was asleep and then after that back into that dream world. We told the docs we wanted them to find some means for him to be able to communicate. He has not strength to write much less hold a pencil. Next day the voice therapy people began working on him. For a minute they put a piece in his trach to let him try and say something. This he will have to work up to using just like anything else. They have to get his throat as well as he used to it. They said his first word he has uttered since surgery so long ago was.....water. Actually not hard to believe. Lord knows I think I would want some too if I looked as frail as he does. There has been nothing since then though. My sis and I were there yesterday when they were doing this to him and well he was in that state of mind that was not grandfather and he just sat there. The docs left and sis and I read him cards from friends. I followed his eyes and he did actually look at them. I hope and pray it sparked something to awaken in him again. We are gonna pepper this ICU room with pics and other things to stimulate his mind to work again. We are not giving up on him in no way shape or fashion. We had a funny lil dustup with a couple of the hospital volunteers.(Which for the most part I admire them being there with no pay). Anyway sis and I had gone to lunch and had arrainged with the nurses to go back after we got back but not during normal visiting time. No big deal. We called them when we got back and they said come on back. We went and did out visit. Coming back to the ICU waiting room one of the volunteers decides to have a power trip and asks us "Are you two allowed back there anytime you want?' We were nice at first and told her the nurses said it was fine to come back. Then this ass decides to let us know that we need her approval first. WELLLLL that set both sis and I off and we still nicely let her know that we have been at that hospital going to the ICU for over 2 months and that if she must know we kinda do have liberties that have been arranged through the docs and nurses because of circumstances. If she had a problem with it we gave her the name of the person down in adminstrative who could inform her of who we were. That ended the whole thing lol. Like I said the volunteers are good people and not gonna let one bad apple ruin my opnion of the bushel. We have come to know alot of them anyway because we are there almost everyday. All the other people we have gotten to know have already come and gone with their loved ones and back home. Still we remain. I wont lie and say it does not bother me sometimes to be sitting there and listening to families being told by the docs that their loved one is going home in a couple hours and yet still we are up there praying for just to be able to hear his voice. Then I think yanno Ron..."Be thankful for them and their loved ones." I thank the lord for their good luck and focus again on my own family again. I can't say enough for all the prayers you all have given. Tyger thanks for keeping a candle lit in your heart for my family. Your a doll suge. We keep up the faith and I ask you all to keep helping us along his journey. With love from my heart to each and everyone of you. RON STRYKER

Just letting everyone know what has been going on with things. Most of you know that my grandfather has been in the hospital for months and had surgery on his heart. We are coming up on the 2nd month of him being in ICU. It has been so hard to witness this. Someone who read one of my post asked me how can I be so honest in my blogs. Like I said before I do it more for me to help me keep from totally breaking down. This is my time to put everything I feel out there and get it out of me. If not I think I would keep it in and probably come close to exploding. Not to mention the fact that for anyone else facing anything bad either it be family member sick or just something personal in their life. Maybe just maybe it will let them know that they dont have to suffer alone. I can no longer stay up in the waiting room. My body is just so beat up from my own surgery. I stayed a week and my sis convinced me that I needed to come home or I would end up doing more damage to myself. Since then I have been going up at least 2-3 times a week. I wish I could things were so pretty and awesome but again reality is its not. Grandfather is still hooked up to so many tubes and lines its unreal to think of. They took the tube from his mouth and put a trach in his throat. So now the vent helps him breath that way. On a good note though they are slowly trying to ween him bit by bit off that. For a couple hours a day he breaths all on his own. Long term goals are one day for him to breath all day himself and use the vent at night. Course he still cant talk and that is frustrating cause we cant judge how he is mentally. I had the docs start the music stimulant and this week we got the go ahead to pretty much take over his ICU room and put all the pics up we want. We can even bring in a CD player and my sis and I are gonna get books on CD and play for him to see if we can stimulant his mind a lil more. My sis and I both have come to realize that maybe at times he slips into a lil bit of dementia. I noticed it and she did too and we finally told each other. Honestly at times we both said we felt like we were talking to a child. Other times you can see grandfather in there when he is really having a good day. Again till he can speak we have no way of knowing what his real mental state being. Sis and I honestly told each other that he might do stuff when we ask simply because he might see us as people that visit him and if he makes us happy then maybe "The good people that come see me might come back if I make them happy and do stuff". I tell you what thinking about that is hard to even consider but it is something that we have had to consider. I know yesterdays visit for my sis was hard because the 4th of July was her birthday. It has to be very hard to spend your birthday in a hospital and wanting so much to hear your grandfather say "Happy Birthday". One thing that touched each of us was in the mail thursday she got a card from a friend of the family. It was a birthday card that was signed granddaddy. She was really touched by that act of kindness. We know who did it and we called and told them how much it meant. It has been so tough lately with my grandfather in the hospital and then a week ago my fiance Sandy lost her grandmother. She has dealt with it best she can and I know its been hard on her. She was there when her grandmother passed. Her grandmother was at home and surrounded by family. When the Lord reached down for his newest angel she felt no pain. She went to heaven and I know the Lord told her Welcome Home. I also like to think that her husband met her at the gates and took her hand and said "Honey let me show you around". Together again. I will never be able to thank everyone out there for all the support you have given me. The prayers that I have received from so many of you has given me more courage than you can ever think. The littlest things have come to mean so much. God Bless You All!!! Ron

The last time I saw my grandfather things were dark and just did not look good. I had said happy fathersday to him and had to come home. We were not being told anything positive but we remained hopefull and I know I prayed alot. I went and saw him yesterday and the difference I saw was amazing. His eyes were open but now they would actually look at you from time to time. My sister asked if he could hear her and he nodded his head. I almost had to walk out cause that made my heart leap almost out of my chest and it was so hard to hold back the tears. Then quick as that he seemed to fall dormant again. I can only guess at the struggle going on inside of his body. Not to mention mind. We do not know if he even recognizes us. For all I know he can preceive us as just another set of doctors or nurses. We know his body is tired and I heard just this morning he actually wiggled his fingers. The first thought you want to have is woohoo my grandfather is better. Its just not the case. We still dont know what state his body and mind will ever be in right now. We dont know if the movement we are seeing might be all he has in him. There are alot of "don't knows". We do know he will be in the ICU for at least another month. It will probably be around xmas before thoughts of him leaving this hospital are talked about. It all depends on how he recovers and what gains he makes. Eventually he will need alot of physical therapy because lets face it you lay in a bed for so long things are not gonna function like they should. You don't use your muscle you lose that strength. Trust me I know. From my surgery I have lost all the muscle mass I had and gained 30 pounds of fat from it. You go from throwing 150 couches around to not doing anything it does make a difference. Hell my legs are sore from just walking more so I can't imagine what he will be like. Another thing I do know is that I honestly think that even this glimmer of hope is being made possible by everyone of my family and friends out there praying for him. There is no other way I see it other than alot of you praying for him and The Lord hearing those prayers and smiling down on my grandfather and wrapping his warm embrace around him. I cannot thank everyone ever enough for keeping me and my family and him most of all in your thoughts and prayers. Sadly when one door opens it seems another wants to shut. My fiance Sandy is going through her own ordeal with her grandmother. Her grandmother has been in the hospital for along time now. She has been very sick and as of late has taken a turn for the worst. It seems so strange how each of us are facing this ordeal at the same time. We are being tested and it has been hard emotionally on each of us. We try and keep the other strong when both of us are facing our own torments inside. Today she is with her grandmother and they are hoping to take her home so that she may fall into the lords hands in her own home. Surrounded by the pictures of her life lead so wonderfully and fully. Pictures of her husband who will be waiting for her. Pictures of kids and grandkids smiling out looking from everywhere. The warmth of a kitchen with many hours of good ole country cooking smells drifting through the rooms. A place of peace. I will be gone next week to be at the hospital. I will be staying in the waiting room for the week. Now that my grandfather is seeming to be more coherent I dont want him to think he is alone. We had to leave the hotel across the street because well frankly it already cost of $2,300. Love has no price but when money runs out it is gone and thats another harsh reality. The waiting room has a couple recliners that I have already spent the night in so it wont be a big deal. Gonna ration out some food I am gonna take and I will be good to go. Right now each of our sick family members is whats important. I know Sandy will be with her grandmother as much as possible. I will try and keep everyone up to date best as I can. Please keep the prayers coming not only for my grandfather but Sandys grandmother as well. Again thank you so much for all prayers and encouragement you all have given me. Still hoping and praying. RON