She's not here now. But that's Ok. She doesn't send me heart beats. She flaunts she teases, she turns her head walks away and expects me to follow. But now, I hold hands with some one else. Now I don't play her games. Now if she wants to play she has to come down of her perfect cloud. Still there are no rules that's fine because the only way survive here is if I let you. I am deadly, I am diseased. Does she dare risk infection? I have survived on stolen time. I know I have many things to pay for but I will not pay her. For she wants what she can't have. To be in her debt is to owe her everything, then she consumes you makes it so you can't think straight and can't see what is right in front of your eyes.
I see all to clearly, so clearly it scares me at times. I am consumed by something else. I see that for all her seduction skills, she can't seduce me because only my mistress can grant me what I desire. My mistress doesn't tease or flaunt or need a seductress's skills. She knows she has what I desire but unlike the chemical intoxication that flirts and fades away with time, my mistress delivers her gift only when she wants to. It's been written in and on books and walls. So, I wait patiently, laughing on the inside at the one who flirts and walks away. Because now who I hold hands with will do so till it is time to give me away.
She suffers tortures as I do, and so we turn our collars to the cold wind and to our backs to the world that would have us be damned. Her words will forever echo inside my head. Let the rain fall down and drench us to the bone we'll just go for a walk in it because the times they may change but the rain will forever fall and wash away those who are to weak to stand. The curse has been cast, time is rapidly fading but no matter because even though the stars are coming out I know just where it is that I have to go.
It is far from she who flirts and skips away. I guess that's my sin then, deciding that even though she smiles beautifully and often that I who rarely smiles is some one she shouldn't know. For all she has to do is look, and about her way go because in my darkest hours there will be no secrets because they along with all of my memories, all my hate, they will disintegrate and she will not be there. No matter because she will never change. It's Ok even if I leave still seeming delightfully strange for I know no other way.
