Kinkstar Sin's blog: "Sin's Domain"

not me...

i love tom waits... anyway i'm lying, the piano is sober, i'm drinking.

i actually set my bartab to see when my friends post blogs and i've realized one thing... i hate people that blog stash - meaning: if all you're doing is posting a video of a commercial, something you found on youtube, a song you like and you have NOTHING to say about it... put it in your fucking stash...

seriously, if i wanted to waste my time watching dumb commercials and listening to your music, i'd be rating your stash, or searching through other sites on my OWN to find shit to watch and listen to.

i am NOT referring to videos you made yourself for people on here or something personal, or even videos that you link that you talk about during the blog. i just mean if all you're doing is posting random shit, put it in your fucking stash so those of us that can see blog postings and ignore stash postings for a reason aren't stuck here opening pages with nothing more than a youtube video on it.

my .02

~~Sin

Hi all,

I am currently back working as a cam girl, freelance for the moment, until my account on another site is set up. If you're interested in a show, please add me on sinlivewithme on yahoo instant messenger so we can discuss business and terms. Please note: I do not socialize on this yim account. I will be unlocking my nsfw's from time to time to advertise what I'm selling, again this is for work purposes.

I still expect the same level of respect on my work account on yahoo that I expect here. If you disrespect me, you will be blocked. I do this because I enjoy it and I'm damn good at it. If you can't accept these concepts, please search elsewhere to fulfil your desires.

Note: I will be making a nsfw blog later explaining what I do in more detail for those that want to know. As it will be nsfw, check back here to find it as it will not display on my profile, I will link it from this blog.

Love you all,

~Sin

If you're looking for tattoo designs or original artwork, click the picture to get to Ghost's blog for information and check out his pictures for some other examples of his drawings!

Most of you that read these know that i'm totally not down with being a fuwhore. or at least i wasn't. i was done with it after my last account got locked. However.... i'm planning on going back to work as a cam girl, and if that's the case, it's easiest for me to work on making friends here that may potentially "hire" me later.

So, sin the anti-fu-whore will be begging for friends, posting nsfw pictures (topless for friends, full nude for family, possibly unlocking the full nudes temporarily from time to time).

Sin will still not be taking any shit from the assholes. if you can't respect me as a person, i don't need to deal with you. i'm doing this for financial reasons, and i don't expect some of you to understand. i'm not a real life whore, i don't cam for free, i'm still loyal to my boyfriend and happy in my relationship.

if you cannot accept my choice, please feel free to remove me from friends. if you can accept it, you'll still get my fuck you blogs when i'm feeling pissy and my i love everyone blogs, et cetera. the only thing this will be changing is my statuses, my pictures and some begging blogs added into the regular ones.

thanks for your understanding. more information may come in time.

much love,

Sin

i'm still in illinois and everything is going well :p i know i usually write these fucked up what's wrong with me blogs but even though i've had my moments here, i have no complaints. i have a sexy boyfriend who takes care of me... i have friends that let me walk around their house naked... i have great friends on here that understand that i may disappear with no notice and not talk for hours because i am enjoying the real life company :p (i know, that last one is REALLY rare for me) ...
anyhow, i'm hoping ghost is as happy as i've been this week... his drawings are fucking beautiful (if any of you want tattoo designs drawn up, he's selling his creative talent, and it's WELL worth it - info is in his blog - click here!)
anyway, i'm gonna go back to watching him draw... leave me comments here so i know you all are still alive :p
love ya
~sin

The trip to illinois went awesome. i'm here with lucifer's disciple, smurfy and ghost. aside from some med side effects, i'm doing fucking awesome. i'm loving being here, i'm loving being with people that are hysterical, sweet and caring. it's good to feel surrounded by support. i know my family loves me but friends bring a different kind of love. so do boyfriends. duh lol. anyway i just wanted to drop a quick note to say i'm doing wonderful and i love being here (h)

~sin

My mom
My brother
My sister
My love
Friends - Matt, AradiaDawn, Courtney, Allen, Mauchi, Gaz, Ghost, Skittlez, Christina, Rev, Seductress, Raistlin, Windir, Christian, Rebel, Hurco, Pedro
People that know why they're not on this list and love me anyway
A roof over my head
Food in my stomach
Good music
mister bear
A bed to sleep in
Love
The view out my window
Stupid websites
Funny pictures

these things make me smile, they make me thankful

feel free to add your own

i know when i blog sometimes it comes out all fucked up. the things i type out don't always coincide with the reality of the situations. please know that when you read them, i'm writing them through the eyes of someone that is very upset because she doesn't have a hold on her emotions, not because someone has done something to upset her to that extent. i'm going to be going away this weekend, if all goes well... please all cross your fingers for me, and will be out of state for two weeks... again, cross your fingers, and toes and anything else... i'm happy. this is what i wanted all along. just to know i'd see him. to know he loves me. and when i'm calm, i know all of that. when i'm happy, i know all of that... when i'm upset, i'm not sure of anything. he really is wonderful, and a sweetheart, and he is there for me when i need him. he's going through the stress of moving, i know i mentioned the not calling thing, but when you're moving, you don't have time to txt and call someone 100 times a day... i'm a clingy bitch... i will txt him and txt him and call him, and really, i don't know how he puts up with it, and sometimes, i wouldn't call me back either. but i love him. and that's what's important right now. he makes me feel alive. i spent some time reading through archives of conversations, and i realized that when he and i aren't stressed... we're fucking great... i don't handle stress well, and the stress of him moving is hitting me harder than i realized, and it doesn't go well with his stress... and his is the greater of the two. i magnify my own issues to make it seem like i'm the victim. i know i do this. i'm sorry for that. to all of you. because it doesn't give you a true look into what goes on. i'm not a victim. i have my good days too. today is one of those days. don't let yourself be a victim either.
~Sin

it's eating away at me. i thought maybe, just maybe, this time could be different. i think i think that every time. they all say the same thing about my past relationships. you had low self esteem. and then this happens. my crazy can't handle them and they can't handle my crazy. i love you i hate you, i hate you i love you, i need you you don't need me. it's all the same. i just want him to be there when my world is falling apart. that's what every girl wants. my world falls apart more often. i want him to call me back when he says he will. i want to feel like a priority in his immediate future, not just some generic someday. i want to know why i can't be normal. don't jump down my throat for that. fine, i want to know why i can't be healthy. i have tried 50 different medications, three hospitalizations, four if you count the one that was a non suicidal near fatal overdose. i've tried one on one therapy, group outpatient. i could run a psychoanalysis group session at this point. i can tell you all the coping skills. i can't implement any of them yet. i'm not going to learn this where i am. i hoped that this time would be different though, there were new ideas on what was wrong, new approaches to treatment, more therapy, less focus on medications. i thought maybe, maybe this time i could love someone and keep them. it's these tiny little things that eat away at me. six weeks and he couldn't find a way to get here. i know the travel isn't something that sounds fun, but it was timing and then money and then timing and then money and then money and timing. i feel like i'm not worth the time. those low self esteem issues... i don't care how good i say i look on a particular day, and even that. i won't get into that. suffice to say that only made me feel worse. keep looking forward he says, keep looking to the future, when i can't look past the hour or the day. i have nothing concrete to look forward to. nothing. he tells me to look forward when i don't think he wants to be with me even now. he tells me this isn't the case. but who the fuck says "you're right, i really don't, you're a fucking pain in my ass and i'm not going to take it" to someone the same day they say i love you. some friends tell me i'm being paranoid, other friends say who knows what he doesn't say. and then i get more paranoid. thanks for that btw. i sound like a whiny emo bitch so i'm just going to post this and move on. it's not like anyone besides aradia, pedro, raistlin and some friends from an exlounge read these regularly anyway... do they? ah well, i love the five of you enough to count for all of you.
~sin

seriously, if you're under 10k to level, and you need to level that badly, go find someone with autos on and rate them. if you're determined to do it through good old fashion rating and returning from friends, stop putting it in your status. it gets old. so you're being annoying, lazy or annoying and lazy either way... can we please stop?

as a side note - i want a fucking blast. or autos. and yes, i am perfectly good being annoying and lazy.

love ya!

~sin