shadowwolf's blog: "shadowwolf"

your hands at rest now your passion spent the room filled with a lovers scent a shy smile a slow tap tap talk of tomorrow and a short nap we talk some more and tap tap too one handed typing i thought we were through long and lonely the night could be if not for your tap tapping me we share a love but we can't forget i tap love tap you tap net

i wondered down a long dark hall lined with pictures of all my falls the pictures played out one by one a drug overdose a police chase and a gun the time i stole and didnt get caught those times in juvvie all for not broken hopes and shattered dreams my insanity continued i started to scream promises broken the times i lied this is my life?or have i died? the pictures stopped and i did as well waiting for charon and my ride to hell i looked up my eyes wide one last picture at my side paints and brushes i did glance i was given a second chance im older now and the hall is long brighter this time as i move along im not done yet but i have learned fast i can paint the future not recover the past

mom mom mom you say can i hava a pony ride today i laugh a little and smile more 3 year olds think nanas own the store i hold your hand and yours in mine 3 generations one moment in time a can of green goop a red ball with a shine we stroll through the store with our treasures in tow as you grow older these times will slow soon there will be friends and boys soon after my ears and heart capture save your babyish laughter you turn and give me a grin i see for a second the woman within i walk out with my lovely granddaughter you scream nana pony rides can i have a quater

a child's cry a parents curse i run and hide there will be worse quiet steps a mothers plea take the baby for me 8 crayons rolling around on the floor my parents still fighting other side of the door draw me a bunny shell with big floppy ears ok misty i say as i wipe my tears more she cries with the bunny colored red on the other side of the door is quiet i wait with dread an angry shout the sound of a slap come here misty its time for your nap she falls asleep her hand in mine me and the other side of the door keeping time another slap a cry filled with pain i wonder if the police will be here again i sit and think and listen to the war that is in full battle on the other side of the door hours pass it seems like years i smile at misty see no fears the door opens dad is standing tall i silently follow him down the hall one quick glance i turn to see the other side of the door and lost safety

to many people have lost souls nothing left inside feeling dark and cold the world walks by them every day pretends not see them turns away they need special care and true friends they dwell on past failures and dreams of the end they think they are worthless a bad seed to them in this world they think no need i wish they could see what i see a lost soul a thing of pure beauty he needs to look deep inside stop giving up the fight to survive the world he does want to end but lost soul ill lose a special friend

the cool wind blowing through my hair the children's laughter my moms stare when is daddy coming home mom you ask when god and country has finished their task i look down the beach towards the setting sun mommy has daddy used his gun i look at you my child of 4 yes baby he has to daddy's at war mommy is daddy gonna be here on my birthday can he ask the man that sent him away no my baby daddy's jobs not done he doesn't have much time for birthday fun i miss him mommy i really do i no baby i do too

Grandpa Grandpa are these ones mine one small moment caught in time yes my Shelly you say with a smile i rented these 2 for a while you help me up and watch me go it was our last day together but we didn't know Grandpa come on hurry please my ears still filled with the childish glee you look so strong the Grandpa i see in 31 years that thought stays with me we trot along through new fallen snow your leading me my horse in tow Grandpa i see it the valley just ahead now aren't you glad Shelly i got you out of bed you help me down into the virgin snow this is what we came for didn't you know we lay down my Grandpa and me making virgin snow angels for god to see on the way home i chatter of course i didn't know your heart was worse my grandpa died later that day but our snow angels are in me to stay

crouching on the moor above the village the wind carries to me the scent of fresh cheese and burning peat i stand slowly looking down at the thatched roofs of the cottages below i walk slowly back towards the village my feet crushing the purple and gold heather at my feet a pair of thrush soar startled towards the rising sun