Cat's blog: "poems"

Your so afraid of me leaving No trust comes from your heart You say anything to make people like you But you don't know why they don't want to be around you. You think your always right and in the loop but you don't even know me anymore. I try to tell you things to help but everyone's wrong and your right. We always end in a fight. I'm so tired, stressed out, and fed up! Please, help me to understand. No more excuses or games. Just tell me the truth. No more dirty mirrors!!

~*Push me down, I come back Doubt me, I'll prove you wrong. You'll never understand who I am, what I can truely be! ~*You say I am weak? who's ass cried just last week? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As I sit silently, after hours of screams My mind spins so, it cannot wander. I sit and watch the flashing lightes below Vehicles fly by, but seem so slow. Wind carries my hair across the bruises. Tears are dried to my face, as no more are permitted to fall. ~*Rallying in the darkness no light for a guide Heart beats so loudly, as I stumble so blindly. ~* A touch of your hand and I am stranded again Right back where I started but this time I have turned cold-hearted. ~* I sit and wonder This thought I ponder As I still sit alone Is it this world I hate, or is death my fate? Which would hurt worse?

Love is a beginnig Love is an end If your hearts not sending, Just let it mend. People come, people go Some fast, some slow Some leave, some stay but never completely all the way. Love is blind but most don't mind If you feel in a bind, Is there someone else you need to find? People may say They love you all the way. But do you live in their hearts with no fee? If not, you should come see me!!!

Never gonna give up until I get what's mine Never gonna stop, so watch me shine! I'm not excepting failing again I'm going to make it to the top this time! As I will it so mote it be It's not over til I feel fine. You push me down I come back I'm not going to stay flat You think I'm weak? I'll tell you I'm not meak. I'll show you what I aim to seek! Push me again! You'll see how fast I mend You'll miss how could I could be You no longer hold the key It no longer works. It no longer hurts me!!!!

I turn away I look down Red, Shattered pieces of my heart on the floor. I fall to my knees, head in my hands. You walk away CLose the door behind you I'm all alone Darkness surrounds me Tears fall, they don't subside Your footsteps grow more faint by the second My hands wont stop shaking, Bruise on my face starts to swell. The only pain I feel is emptyness. There's nothing left in me. A shell of a person I used to be. I'm all alone again. Only darkness and coldness to comfort me. The silence is so loud!!! MY heart pounds Everything is gone!

I look in the broken mirror and realize the mirrors not broken, but my soul The edges evil black and crumbled. Like a sickness it's ever growing, breathing, living. I stand there watching it grow. Hoping it's consumption is near. My hoping is never granted a reality. My eyes, no longer crisp, bright emeralds Now are hallow and gone. Not wanting this ending to come to pass, I make a decision. Finally, a decision on my own! Walk out and never look back!!!!!

Fight after fight Lie after lie Never ending vicious circle. Never ceasing to amaze me Your sly, cunning excuses charming, yet deceiving. Always I cry or you cry, I bitch or you asshole Always ending with I'm sorry. I head for the door, or you say "dont leave" Something keeps me here Do I truely love you? Do I need to leave? I must break the cycle!!! I must decide!

Shattered dreams and broken promises Forgiven countless times Taken back time and time again. I waste away little by little Deeper and deeper inside myself I go. Further from the suface I sink. with every breath you take. My eyes are dry no more blood to shed The more hits I take the more of a shell I become No more laughter or tears No more smiles of fears Raise your hand again!!! Promise, you wont walk away in the end!!!!!!

Sitting in the dark So cold and alone Nothing to comfort me Not even a simple thought Rumors fly, but nothing really said Everyone in someone elses business No privacy allowed Why can't I get away?