Georgia Peaches's blog: "Poems"

Night of Horror

Helpless in a corner,
I feel his fist pummel down.
He knocks over a lamp,
it shatters.

His voice is roaring.
He swears,
once, twice, three times.

I sit there like a helpless puppy,
trembling, frightened.
Then I feel it.

He strikes my cheek.
I wince,
I stare at him in shock.

He smiles,
proud of himself.
My lower lip trembles.
I tell myself to be strong.
I won't cry.
I won't shed a tear.

He strikes again.
His open hand hurts my cheek.
I feel something wet on my lip,
Blood.

I look at him again,
He grins from ear to ear.
Still, I show no emotion.
This angers him more.

My teary eyes watch him as he takes off his belt.
In one swift move,
he's in front of me again.
His eyes glare at me,
mine look back at him.

I hurt,
I'm in pain.
But I show no emotion.

He lifts his arm,
belt in hand.
I look up at him in fear.
I'm choked up
Tears start to fall
as I hear myself scream
"Daddy, no!"

I Wish I Could Quit You

Why is it so hard?
To not like you?
Why do I want you?
Why can't I just walk away
and leave you be?
Why do I hang on?
You've made it clear you don't like me.
Why does it have to be so hard?
To just forget about you?
I wish I knew how to quit you
I wish I could just walk away
But the pain is unbearable
and it makes me want to stay
The kisses and the hugs we shared
Are forever engraved in my mind
How I wish I could quit you
and leave all the memories back in that time.
Sometimes I wish I'd never met you
that we were two unacquainted souls
that way life would be easier...
and I wouldn't be a tortured soul.

I Once Loved

I used to love, but not anymore. I have love. But how could I lie to myself for so long. If you love you don’t cheat on your heart, you don’t lie about it, you don’t hide it. If you love, you devote your heart, mind, body and soul into making it work. If you love, you forgive for all the wrong done. Or do you? Is there a point where it is just too much, is love when it is hard to breathe when you are around them? Heart pounding, hands shaking; is that love or is that pain, I think it is both. I fell out of love a long time ago, I will always love I just wont be in love. Maybe someday, I am a somebody I have a heart. Love beat me in round one, I won’t give up on it. I won’t lose next round I am a winner and you may never know.

I Loved You

I thought that you loved me....
you thought I was a whore...
we were never meant to be together...
I loved you till no end....
you hated me for what I did...
people are wondering what happened to us...
did we fade?
Did we lose interest in one another?
What the hell happened to the love we had for each other?

How Could He

I lay in despair
Tears running down my cheeks
I stare at the ceiling
Close my eyes for a while
Anger boiling inside of me

How could he?
Take advantage of someone so sweet
how dare he?
Lay his hands on her and forcefully hurt her

I want to rip his eyes out and make him hurt
Cry - feel the pain she felt as he lay helpless as his body took advantage of hers
She can't sleep
Thinking about that night
All she see's is his face
The flashbacks hurting her every time

She opened up to me
I lay there as she spoke
Tears in her eyes as well as in mine
Anger building inside of me with every word she spoke

I hurt for her
I felt for her
Silently, I wished I could take the pain away.
Hold her in my arms
Tell how much I care

But she knows
She knows I would kill for her
That I love her
She means a lot to me
And just like she's been there for me
I'll be there for her

She's like a goddess,
Strong-spirited,
Funny,
Beautiful...
But behind the smile, she hides the secret
The secret of what happened
The night she got the pink rose.

As I lay here
Lay in despair
I see her face
My friend
The strongest person I know
The one I love
And will always be there for.

Hidden Surprises

My Grandmother gave me a chair before she passed away. A hideous white thing, with a horrible gloss coating... and I kept it proudly in my room and adored it. The top rung of the back of the chair was broken, and still is, but that's beside the point... the point is, I decided now that we moved that I want to re-do the chair and paint it and make it into a Bettie Page chair for my living room. How fitting..

So today, doped up on some pain medication I decided after dinner to spend some time sanding the chair...

I began on the top rung... I started sanding, through the gloss, and this eggshell white... then there was an ivory color... And then an odd yellow, like old crusty mustard... and then the wood appeared... It was magical.. I was covered in white and yellow dust, and here was this beautiful chair emerging from under years and years of paint...

So I got tired of sanding the same area, and moved to the back poles of the chair... to see the same pattern, gloss... Eggshell... ivory... mustard... wood..

The wood was dark, but upon sanding it down it turned a lovely shade of pink.. like salmon.

After an hour of that, I got tired... so I thought, "I wonder what the seat was like..."

Now, for those of you that I've told about this chair, my plan was to paint it red or black, I hadn't decided... and I was still debating as I was sanding... And I start on the side of the seat... sanding through the mustard color.. When what do I see? A hint of red...

Red.

What?! Red?! I move and start sanding the middle of the seat... and lo! There is this gorgeous deep red color of paint that comes through instead of the mustard...

At one point in time, this ugly white chair had been a mustard and red chair... then ivory.. then eggshell and gloss..

I took finding the red as a sign from above (or my Grandma, at least) that the chair should be restored fully to red. I will take pictures of it's progress tomorrow.. and throughout its transformation... I cannot wait to see how beautiful this will be..

I'm very excited. I'll be refooting the chair, fixing the top rung, and sanding it. This is my project.. and what better way to burn calories and do something productive?

... it just goes to show you that you never know what lies beneath the surface.. and what may look ugly on the outside could have a fabulous history and beautiful interior..

You just need a little elbow grease and some love to bring its inner beauty out.

Hello Little One


Hi little one - it's me mom
I'm sitting on the bed right now
Writing what I have on my mind
It's been almost eight months since we found out the news
The wonderful news that brings me here to write
The other day daddy and I went to the doctors office
We saw you for the second time
My! Have you grown
Your little fingers all curled up, your toes as well
A warmth spread through me that very moment, and I knew my life would never be the same.
I knew you would be the light of my life - the one thing in my life worth living for.

I feel you squirm inside me now
and I start to think - about your cute little eyes
Your button nose
Waiting for your arrival

Will you help people and make us proud?
What will you turn out to be?
A doctor?  A lawyer?  A teacher?
Either way, anything you do little one, I'll be proud of you
You'll be our first child, and we'll be there for you
No matter what you do,
mommy will be here
I love you my little one
I love you so
Just remember that I'll never let you go

Love,
Mommy

Have I Ever

Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when I watch you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
And so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
wishing
I could reach in
and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?

Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you?

Freedom

I’m finally free he no longer has his hand around my neck I’m set free by an angel
you know who you are I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking me to get tested you emancipated me from the bondage that Guys kept me in I’m free now

Every Day

Every day I want to say my life is ok
But when I think about it my life really is not
When I think about what other people say
I really wish I was ok
But all I need to care about is what god, my friends and family say
But some how I steal wish I could kill myself
Every day I think my life is going to get better
But it keeps getting worst
People get mad at me when I cut myself
I try so hard to stop but Satan keeps telling me to cut myself
Every day I wish I could be ok where I don’t have to worry about hiding my scars
Every day I fell like no one cares if I live or die
Every day I brake down and say it’s not worth it and why should I stay
Every day I set alone and cry and wish I could