Georgia Peaches's blog: "Poems"

Slipping Into the Abyss

I slipped and fell into a dark place,
It's so easy these days.
Slipping under, falling down..
Seeing friends all around.
Drowning sorrows, hiding pain...
At the bottom of a bottle.
Spinning rooms, slurred speech..
Drunk? Nah, I'm just a peach.
A shot here, a beer there.
I don't even like beer...
Not a care of what they say,
I'm slowly wasting away.
Becoming what I hated most.
What I vowed never to do.
And I stumble slowly upward..
How did I become such a drunkard?
My head hurts.
My heart aches.
The answers aren't here.
They aren't in the beer...
I had them all along though.

They never left my side.
I had to open up my eyes and see..
The answers were inside of me.
So no more beer, or vodka too.
I hate beer, why'd I drink that crap?
To fit in, to be cool?
God... I was such a fool.
So desperate to fit in..
To not be looked down on.
I'm going sober now I've found the key...
That unlocks all; It's just me.

My Soulmate

It’s been years, since we first met.
Since we started our lovers duet.
Your heart was captivated, never mine.
You weren’t sure of any of my signs.
I fell in love with you the very first night,
You weren’t sure if it was right.
Slowly you started to fall for me.
Little, by little, like a growing tree.
Your feelings started to grow,
Our love; to flow.
Before we knew it, you had fallen in love.
Wild and free, like a beautiful dove.
Your hair in my fingers, your eyes looking into mine.
I am so happy to be alive.
To be yours forever
And ever more
My soul mate - it is you I adore.

My Guardian Angel

The darkness of the room is too much for me to hold
Deep inside, I feel so alone.
Deep inside, I’m dying, slowly.
Wanting to be free, but never letting any get closely.
Impossible it is.
To be free again.
In this darkness that has me imprisoned.
I close my eyes, fighting the tears
Fighting away all of my fears.
The razor shines into the night
Making me shiver in fright.
The edge starts to pull itself into my skin
I can’t help but to succumb to this sin.
A tear betrays my subtle eyes
As I slowly begin to cry.
From behind me I hear a voice
Something so angelical, I had no choice
I turned to see a figure so beautiful
The one who had told  me that this was no suitable.
In my dreams I had seen her,
Guarding me, protecting me, making me believe her.
A higher power was suddenly in the room,
The blood dripping to the floor, sealing my doom.
I had to believe that it was fate.
That I was going to die, it was too late.
Her hands wrapped around mine to stop the bleeding
I couldn’t tell but she was hardly breathing.
Her face was that of an angel, beautiful and sweet.
I had never seen anything more gorgeous to me.
Her eyes were deep blue, almost green
They looked like that of the beautiful sea.
She was dressed all in white
That’s how I knew
She would never leave my side, even if I didn’t tell her the truth.
A glorious figure, yes indeed.
My Guardian Angel.
Keeping me safe and free.

My Best Friend

You stood by me
When I needed you the most
You held me close
When I thought I would break
You made sure that everything was alright
Every single day of my life

I live for the moments we live together
For the laughs and the stupid things we do
For the great friend you are
And for how great we are as a team

Sometimes you may think I don't appreciate you
But it's just that I can't explain what you mean to me
You're the sister I never had
The sister I should have had

I can't wait 'til we're old
And old ladies sitting in the park
Remembering all the great times we had
We'll grow old together and..
Forever...You will be my best friend

Love

What do you do when you love something you can’t have, something so close to you but yet so far away. You want to go for it put not push to hard you want to let it be but you think it may go away. What is love? Is it something that you hold onto when you find it and never let it go? Or does it come more than once in this life, the love of you life? I think not. Our song is still playing.

Living Hell

My life is a living hell because of you.
You treat me as if I was a toy to you.
Thinks for the life you’ve given me.
My high school days are torn because of you.

Every thing I think of is you.
You tell me you love me,
Then going a screwing other chicks
You can go to hell for all I care, I once trusted

But now I don’t
Telling me I’m not good enough for you
Saying my best friend is better then me
Well that’s bullshit.

Fuck you, you bastard
My life is now dead
Wishing I could just kill myself
But who or what is going to stop me?
God that’s who
Thanks for making my life a living hell.

Independent

It's time for me
To do better things with my life
Fulfill my dreams,
accomplish my goals.
Don't be scared
I'll be just fine.
Go out into the real world
Learn more about politics
Find out how hard life really is
But how beautiful it is at the same time
Go to college
Have my own apartment
Marry the man of my dreams.
And when I make a difference,
you'll look proudly onto me and say with a smile "that's my daughter"
I'll fight for many things as for now I'm fighting for my freedom
For the will to go out into the real world
You say it's hard and I'll never make it
Don't underestimate me. I'm a strong person
how can I learn about life while being sheltered all my teenage years?
No parties to go to
No hanging out with friends
I don't even know how to do things on my own
But I'll try
ill try to succeed in life
And I swear I'll do it
I know I can
I'll make a difference in this world
Be independent, be famous
Be ME.
It's time to let me go.

Incomplete

I feel another part of me die,
as I'm bumped back to reality.
I'd give anything to feel you beside me.
To feel your arms around me...
holding me like I've forever longed to.
Feel your warm breath upon my lips as we lean in for a kiss...
Our first kiss
Feel your warm touch...
against my skin tingling out of control.
Wake up to see your gorgeous face every day...
get lost in your beautiful and captivating eyes
Fall asleep in your arms...
whispering words of love.
Kiss you on a rainy day...
our bodies dripping wet
Show you my love for you...
in a night of passion
Walk by the calm ocean,
hand in hand
Watch the sunset,
with my man
Spend the rest of my life knowing...
you'll be there
Feeling safe in your arms
Hold you, when times get rough
When you feel you can't anymore...
Lay underneath the stars feeling your presence.
Give you my heart...
my whole life.
Show you how much you mean to me.
Make you understand..
I'd do anything for you.
Someday, I'll show you..
Show you that I want nothing more than to be by your side.
Spend the rest of my days with the love of my life
Until then,
this distance will continue to rip me apart...
I'll miss you every second of my day.
Wake up, with you on my mind, hoping I 'm on yours.
Think of you...
My body aching to hold you
My lips longing to kiss you
Me, dying, just to be with you
Until I hear that voice of the love of my life
and see the one that keeps me alive
I will never really be complete.

In Your Shadow

I feel eternally in your shadow.
Inferior to you.
What have I done that is so great?
Well, nothing...to you.
I've tried my best in everything,
tried to make you proud
but every little thing I do,
you go ahead and put me down.
You were like a sister to me.
I always admired you.
Now you criticize me,
and make me feel like a fool.
I wonder why I even bother.
Writing and doing things I love
If every little thing I do,
is such a screw up?
I look for your advice,
your mentoring and your guide.
But all the while you judge me,
make me lose my pride.
I don't have any hopes and dreams anymore,
nothing feels the same.
Because in your shadow,
I will always stay.
I wish that you would've helped me,
gave me words of encouragement.
But all you did was judge me,
and make me feel like I wasn't good enough.
Good enough for you?
Good enough for who?
Good enough at all?
I'm sorry to say
I've lost my will
my will to do anything at all.
So this it to you,
who laughs at my dreams.
Who I've looked up to all along,
I'm sorry to say that this is to you,
and my soul is truly gone.

"I'm Sorry" - Continuation to "Night of Horror"

Today is my anniversary.
The one month anniversary of my death.
Was it the continuous beating that killed me?
Or was it the disease eating up my cells, my heart, my soul?
The doctor's still don't know.
If it was the disease, does that mean that the bruises will be ignored?
That the nights of painful abuse mean nothing?

As I lay in my casket,
Seven feet underground,
I close my eyes.
I remember my funeral.
All of my friends were there.
He was there.

I watched as they all wept for me.
The love of my life and my best friend included.
I watched as they held each other, in pain, tears rolling down their cheeks.
Swiftly, my spirit wrapped my wings around them,
held them close,
as I softly whispered,
"I will always be here."

I feel a tug on my wing and look down.
Standing there,
is my son.
As beautiful and as radiant as ever.
I hold him close,
happy to be reunited again.

We both look at his father and hold his hand.
Then they start to lower my body into the seven foot drop.
Everyone around me cries, but I hear one more powerful than anyone else's.
I look back.
My mother.

She is thrown on the floor as my brother’s hold her, silent tears in their eyes as well.
I look at my father.
Tears are in his eyes.
Then he whispers something no one else is meant to hear,
"I'm sorry."

My eyes open as I think of what happened a week ago.
Silently, I begin to pray:

"Almighty Father, guide the children that are like me. Guide them into the knowing light. Shield them from the horrible fight. Let them feel that they are loved. By everyone, especially myslace, who never felt loved but by two people in my lifetime who I was grateful to have. Guide them into you arms Father and shall they feel pain no more."