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I, the penis, request a pay raise due 2 following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work @ great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything i do.
4. I work weekends & holidays.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in dark areas w/ poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. & My work exposes me 2 disease.
Dear penis,
Ur request has been denied 4 the following reasons:
1. U don't work 8 hrs straight.
2. U work in short spurts & fall asleep after each brief work period.
3. U don't stay in your designated area, & r frequently found in other locations.
4. U don't take initiative & must be stimulated 2 start working.
5. U leave your work place messy at the end of ur shift.
6. U are unable 2 work overtime or double shifts.
7. U sometimes leave ur designated work area b4 completing the assigned task.
8. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the work place with two suspicious bags.
Sincerly, Management
