SoMe Goddamn One's blog: "NEWS FLASH!"

With a new day dawning and the time ticking away we are getting closer and closer to the final show down... SNUGGLES v. FERRETS. be sure to cast your vote be fore its too late... it aint that hard to find... its the only damn mumm I have. -NEWS FLASH 12:33 AM: Is it just me or am I surrounded by beautiful women? -NEWS FLASH 8:50 AM (LIVE FROM THE BLITZED OUT ARENA): The action is starting to heat up here at the Blitzed Out arena as the crowds prepare for the fight of a life time, thats right, Snuggles The Bear is going up against a pack of homocidal terrorist ferrets. NEWS FLASH! will be coming to you live from the arena all day today. Be sure not to miss this historical fight. -NEWS FLASH 9:38 AM: Blitzed Out management would like to remind you that there are restrooms located in the north and south entrances of the arena... so dont go peeing on the walls! -NEWS FLASH 12:15 PM: I have been asked to remind the public that the Blitzed Out chat is not a trash receptical. -NEWS FLASH 13:79 PM: I think the clock is broken. -NEWS FLASH 3:09 PM: The stadium is beginning to fill up as the fight nears. NEWS FLASH: 4:33 pm DJ TAGS sent some one a friend request and puts $50 on snuggles the bear coming out on top in the battle royal with the ferrets -NEWS FLASH 5:00 PM: ROUND ONE! -NEWS FLASH 8:00 PM: ROUND TWO! -NEWS FLASH 10:00 PM: ROUND 3

With morning fast approaching we get closer and closer to the final show down: SNUGGLES v. FERRETS. Make sure to cast your vote on my mumm. -NEWS FLASH 12:33 AM: Is it just me or am i surrounded by women?

With the homicidal ferrets back on the loose again Blitzed Out lounge is forced to wait in fear for the next attack. Many of the inhabitants are asking the same questions: How did this all start? When will it end? Can any body save us from this? Is it nakie time yet? We can only answer one. ITS ALWAYS NAKIE TIME! -NEWS FLASH 8:57 AM: I forgot to start todays NEWS FLASH! earlier, but here it is. Just so all you freaks out there can feed your developing addiction! -NEWS FLASH 9:11 AM: Convicted serial killer Snuggles The Bear has escaped from prison. Snuggles was convicted last year for 12 counts of murder. He is said to have suffocated his victims with fabric softener sheets and then "sent em through the wash." Here is an artists sketch of Snuggles The Bear: Please contact local law enforcement if you have any information that may lead to the arrest of Snuggles The Bear. -NEWS FLASH 9:30 AM: Coming soon to a theater near you: WHEN EMUS ATTACK -NEWS FLASH 10:54 AM: With tropical storm Humberto currently slamming into the Louisiana Gulf-Coast, the Blitzed Out Weather Monitering System has predicted a possible (but not probable) drop in the number of some one's. -NEWS FLASH 12:05 PM: Officials say that class has been cancled due to an outbreak of sids. -NEWS FLASH 2:37 PM: I figured I might use this NEWS FLASH! to give all my veiwers a personal hello.So...HELLO! -NEWS FLASH 2:58 PM: And now, with out any further delay, dancing bears: -NEWS FLASH 3:19 PM: WOOOO... WHAT DIED IN HERE?....MAN... THAT COUD LEVEL A BUILDING -NEWS FLASH 3:24 PM: We just had avisit from the creator... no... not God you silly!...REDD! -NEWS FLASH 3:37 PM: Snuggles The Bear has struck again. Three bodies were found floating in a vat of liquid washing-machine soap. Out of respect for the familys of the deceased we are not releasing the names. If you have any information that may lead to the capture of this vicious beast please notify Blitzed Out local police. -NEWS FLASH 4:01 PM: Police feel that Snuggles may have changed his appearance. Here is a new police sketch of what Snuggles may look like: -NEWS FLASH 10:01 PM: This man is wanted for public stupidity. If you know any information that might lead to his arrest please contact Blitzed Out police. -NEWS FLASH 11:13 PM: Sources say police have arrested a bear that they suspect may have been Snuggles' acomplice.

Blitzed Out Lounge- with the ferrets in custody and some one in rehab, things seem to be back to "normal" in the lounge. Enioy it while you can it wont be like this long. -NEWS FLASH 12:18 AM: some one has escaped from his padded room. He is said to be armed and dangeous. -NOTICE 12:24 AM: We apologise for the inacuracys in todays 12:18 AM news flash. The posting read:" he is said to be armed and dangerous." when infact it should have read " he is said to have arms and is dangerous." We apologise for this inaccuracy, but what do you expect, all our writers are chimps. Also, we have fired the editor. -NEWS FLASH 1:21 AM: DJ KLYDE's camel has gone missing. If you have any information please contact DJ KLYDE. -NEWS FLASH 3:31 AM: As the lounges inhabitants begin to leave the possibility of another attack is rising. Stay tuned for updates. -NEWS FLASH 8:00 AM: The lounge is starting to wake up and all seems calm. This should last until Dani shows up and stars running around naked. -NEWS FLASH 12:33 PM: I'm not wearing any pants. -NEWS FLASH 11:07 PM (Dec. 6, 1941): The Japanese have deployed ships (including dive bombers, torpedo bombers, bombers and fighters flying from aircraft carriers)for an attack on pearl harbor. -NOTICE 2:12 PM: This NEWS FLASH was delayed. We apologize for any inconvenience caused. -SPECIAL EDITION NEWS FLASH 5:19 PM: -NEWS FLASH 8:45 PM: It has been almost 4 hours since the ferrets escaped and still no sign of them. could they have gone away? ...not likely. -NEWS FLASH 9:03 PM: Still no sign of the ferrets. -NEWS FLASH 9:07 PM: SQUEEK! -NEWS FLASH 10:25 PM: A man has been found dead in the lounge. He appears to have been ferreted to death.

Blitzed Out lounge- At approximately 6:25 AM this morning a ferret stumbled in to the Blitzed Out lounge. Due to the massive amount of booze consumed the night before, the lounges inhabitants didn’t notice it (except one guy who made the mistake of accusing it of cheating on him). By 7:05 the ferret had made its way in to the DJs booth and, after giving DJ Royal a few clonks on the head, began broadcasting squeaky propaganda. Suddenly the lounge was filled with machine gun wielding ferrets. Authorities believe that the ferrets may still be holding a few hostages the in the lounge. -NEWS FLASH 7:45 AM: Osama Bin Ladin has claimed responsibility for the ferrit attack. -NEWS FLASH 8:03 AM: Authorities have confirmed that the ferrets are holding captives. Details on how many hostages and who they are still unknown -NEWS FLASH 8:48 AM: The squeaking has stopped, authorities fear the worst. -NEWS FLASH 8:54 AM : The ferrets have sent out an ultimatum to authorities that they are forming a list of demands. -NEWS FLASH 8:56 AM: The ferrets have denied all claims that they are in any way linked to Bin Laden. -NEWS FLASH 8:59 AM: The ferrets have managed to chew through the power and phone lines cutting off communications with the hostage negotiators. -NEWS FLASH 9:01 AM: A notice scrawled on toilet paper written in green crayon was tossed out of a 2nd story window. -NEWS FLASH 9:05 AM: Authorities have confirmed that the ferrets are currently holding 3 captives. -NEWS FLASH 9:36 AM: Authorities say they will release the names of the hostages soon. -NEWS FLASH 10:15 AM: The ferrets have released all hostages but one. -NEWS FLASH 10:36 AM: Authorities have stormed the building. -NEWS FLASH 10:37 AM: There seems to be mass chaos ensuing... the police have just hauled out a wheel barrow of...sweaters? ... yes it does appear to be sweaters... and now there carrying out a man... and now they appear to be... giving him a field sobriety test?... and...wait.. wait... YES..they have apprehended the perpetra... wtf?... naked ferrets?...oh wait... the cops appear to be attempting to wrestle a pair of sheep sheers away from the man. -NEWS FLASH 10:57 AM: Authorities say that the last hostage is in stable but drunk as hell condition. -NEWS FLASH 11:08 AM: Authorities are saying that the last hostages name is... some one. -NEWS FLASH 11:12 AM: We have been told that the ferrets are being charged with conspiracy to be fuzzy and for kidnapping a village idiot. They will be taken back to headquarters to be given a strong scolding and to be put on leashes. -NEWS FLASH 5:36 PM: The ferrets are now demanding lawyers. However the state claims that ferrets are not protected by the constitution. -NEWS FLASH 5:41 PM: A district judge has ruled that the ferrets are to be provided with lawyers because "theyre just so damn cute". -NEWS FLASH 7:10 PM/Vatican Republic: A massive pile of sweaters has appeared in the middle of St. Peters Basilica. No one seems to know how they got there, but all the cardinals agree... " it smells like a ferret". The pope is schedueled to hold a press conference later tonight. -NEWS FLASH 11:37 PM: Another possible culprit in this still developing case. The ferret was found crawling in some one's pants. When asked about this his response was: "Dess put it there."