CG's blog: "My thoughts"

ok, so some of you may wonder why I am quiet lately. well..... here it is for those who care. 1st i am broke....i mean fat f-ing broke. I have had to rely on the food bank for the past few months. also have been on social services because I can not work. 2nd, my son is now in a respite home, because I can not handle him at all, we have found out htat he functions between a 4 and 7 year old instead of a 16 year old. 3rd. its christmas..... the first christmas with out my gran, with out much of anything right now. my dad is coming for christmas, which would be good except that the house is still under renovation. 4th. I am severly depressed.... and dont see much joy in alot at the moment. 

Well thats it at the moment.... of you have any ideas on how to lift my moods please go ahead and try (h)

ok.... so he has served me papers trying to get out of paying child support, I have no money for rent, less for food and bills, christmas is going to be aweful, I am still sick, yea.... thats about it..... i am sooooooo tired

Living with a special needs son is challenging at best. But when he acts one way in public and another way in private, it makes it difficult for me to explain to people and professionals. My son will be 16 in a few days, but most time he acts like he is 3 or 4. I was told today that his IQ is more in the 30's to 40's not the 50's or higher I was thinking/ hoping. He doesnt eat, but would rather be tube fed, he is adhd as well. Medications work, but they reduce his appetite.

Today was a bad day. He was very aggressive towards me and the hospital staff. He was not feeling good which didnt help. The nurses and other staff are now seeing what I have been going through with him, and they are starting to do more with him to get him properly assessed. But it has been a long prossess and its still going to be going on for a long time.....

I am having a bad time as well, I am severly depressed and have sever anxiety and panic. I have no one to talk to her in rl. I have a hard time talking peroid. I am on meds and on welfare to help, but I am not getting the help from welfare as they say I can work. I can not work at all. With dealing with my son, daughter and myself, its hard to keep going.

found out child services went to talk to my daughter again. NOT impressed. during that time this lady asked her for her fathers phone number.... Not allowed to with out my written consent. but my daughter being 12 didnt know she did not have to give it to her. then to top it all off, my daughter called her fathers houdse tonight and told her step mother that she was going to the bowling tournament that is going onthos weekend, and step mother made her feel guilty about not wanting to go to their house at all......

Its all supposed to be a game, but to me its not. I am here to get a break from my real life, but finding fu getting into it. its not supposed to... it hurts... over and over, and I am powerless to do anything...