Ok for those of you who know each person in this situation, PLEASE, keep your mouths shut to them.....so.........
Ok so.....I have been told by Eric and David that I am crazy because I am not acting like myself. So who the fuck am I acting like?? I am still me, I have always been me. Yes I know that the first two weeks after the breakup I was a hateful bitch, but I had every right to be, the only thing unfair then was that I was taking my frustration out on my kids. Which thankfully my best friend brought to my attention and I stopped. So..my "best friend" says I am now a whore because I was talking with a guy he didn't like, which I have not spoken to since. I am now talking to a guy who is such a fantastic person and great to talk to. HE ACTUALLY LISTENS WHEN I TALK..OMG....HOW GREAT IS THAT!!?!? GUYS TAKE NOTE: girls like it when you listen and not the "uh huh..yeah...uh huh" shit....This guy REALLY listens to me....And for that I am so very lucky to have met him. But guess what...I am a whore for talking to him..... Since when is talking a sexual act???
Anyway, so not only am I a whore I am a bad mother, all because my "bff" thinks he knows more about parenting than I do. Ok I get that I am not perfect, but with the situation this person grew up in I am FAR more perfect than that BITCH of a mother. I don't beat my kids, I don't neglect them, they are loved and get things they need and a lot of the time if I have the money they get things they want. I do my best. My kids are 6 and 2 tell me you wouldn't get frustrated and irritable....I have a break from the oldest but I never have a break from the youngest...THANK GOD his father is going on vacation soon..I will have a break, which is so very much needed.
Anyways, back to the subject. I have grown a bit since the break up and learned what not to do and what I should be doing. I have not yet concentrated on myself for anything, so from now on I am going to concentrate on just myself (not counting the kids...they are a given..) Yeah so what if I talk to guys OOOOhhh I am such a slut.....so what if I hang out with guys.....not every guy is gonna get a piece of ass from me ok....maybe just a few lmao....j/k.....I am entitled to talk to whom I please.
I can't live the rest of my life the way that others think I should. Don't get me wrong I know there are things about me that need to change..like the fact I like being barefoot....lol..sorry only one of you will get that. I don't change things about myself unless I want to..or if I know it NEEDS to be done. There are things people have problems with but they aren't that big of a deal. I don't usually turn down advice outright..but with this situation I think I have the right to. I am being told by more than one person, that I need to do this and I need to do that....when do I get to do what I want.....
So my "best friend" says as long as I am living the way I am, he will not be a part of it. He and I have been friends for 18 years and he is just willing to throw it all away. I have ALWAYS accepted everything he has done in his life..even if in my opinion it's not right, or if I just don't like it. I have always stood beside him with his choices. ALWAYS!! I love him to death, and now because he disagrees with my decisions he is just writing me off...wtf? Ok granted I didn't go to the zoo on his b-day....I was up the whole night before trying to knock out my school work so I wouldn't have to worry about it the day of his b-day party. I went to the party after the zoo at least I made it there. I apologized also, I felt horrible for not going, but I couldn't even open my eyes. He has done many many many things for me and I appreciate it all. But he also acts like I have never done for him. Like I just take and take and never give back, which is bullshit. He knows that.
So Eric and David think I am nuts and that I am not dealing with my emotions...BULLSHIT! I dealt with my feelings ALL BY MYSELF for two weeks....which in that time..I did A LOT of thinking. I know that Eric and I are not going to get back together..nor do I want to...we both need to be happy and we cannot make eachother happy. I realized that in those two weeks.. So guess what....I am OVER IT! There is always going to be love for Eric..he is the father of my child, but honestly, I am much happier without him. We just weren't supposed to be together. I dont know.....I just needed to vent.....I think I am done for now......
