tymedownMember of The Dark and Fallen So...'s blog: "my shit"

here i am sleeping alone agian in this bed we made out of sin thoughts of you come crashing in and its all i can do to play in this game i can never win holding on to what once was but will never be agian these memories of you rush through my head every day tormenting me reminding me that i was in love they come agian and agian and as my world falls apart and i die of a broken heart the smell of your hair the taste of your lips the warmth of your breath on my skin knowing you will never let me in i play this fool in your charade of hate

Lying on the floor Body writhing in pain Tasting blood in my mouth As i plead in vain My bones are broken My will as well I feel the sting As my flesh starts to swell I look to you with tears in my eyes As you tell my its my fault AS your fist crashes to my face All your hate and anger has finally found a place As my little seven year old body lays broken, bloody, and numb my conciuosness fades to black I try so hard to take a breath as you grind your knee into my back I reach for my mother as she turns her head with a tear in her eye she wishes him dead as the screaming and the pain start to slowly subside I crawl within my self my only safe place to hide A place without pain,anger or lies A place where you hold me tight a place where you love me and show me your proud A place where you kiss my cheek and tuck me in at night And when im scared with eyes full of tears in you come to fight away my fears And when i look into your loving eyes There is no anger, hate or despise but as i lay hear cold and alone so broken and hollow My visions have gone I remember its my fault i brought this all on myself i am your son and this is the life i was delt

I have crossed oceans of time to find you. I have fallen to earth with wings of ash and walked through the valleys of sorrow, to only stand close to you, to be in the presence of such beauty. I have forsaken my immortality. and yet feel content to only hide in the shadows of your soul. to taste the essence of passion that courses deep inside your being, to feel the life that flows through your veins. in your eyes i find solace, in your smile i find salvation, and yet in your absence i am tormented by demons of solitude. to this i am a prisoner, but to you i remain unknown. for you have become my muse

To hear your name makes my heart race. To smell your perfume on my pillow case, reminds of times long gone by. To see you brings tears to my eyes. I dont think i can take another day. To feel you close is all i need, it only comes to me in dreams. I pray to god to just see your face. To To hear your name makes my heart race. To smell your perfume on my pillow case, reminds of times long gone by. To see you brings tears to my eyes. I dont think i can take another day. To feel you close is all i need, it only comes to me in dreams. I pray to god to just see your face. To touch your cheek, a warm embrace. A chance to tell you that i've changed. I know that you've heard this all before, but I swear to god it's not the same. I wish you could look deep inside. I have bared my soul with nothing to hide. It is for you that my heart does bleed, and only you will i ever need.touch your cheek, a warm embrace. A chance to tell you that i've changed. I know that you've heard this all before, but I swear to god it's not the same. I wish you could look deep inside. I have bared my soul with nothing to hide. It is for you that my heart does bleed, and only you will i ever need.

I have fallen from grace with soiled wings and have accepted my fate, to be damned eternally for i have betrayed my heart and loved unconditionally. I have whispered your name on the and begged for you to hear my cries. i have longed for you to see me as i am immortal though you can only feel my presence. I walk in the shadows callin to you, you turn but i am not there. i kiss you lightly on the lips, yet you only feel warm breath. I watch you with eyes of wonder and amazement as you captivate my every thought. you entrance my soul without a word, and leave me breathless. Oh how i long for your touch for your sweet caress, to feel your breath on my cheek, your lips to mine, your hands upon my flesh, to feel anything of you would be worth my fate. Oh lord i beg thee, take my soul, my wings, my very essence of life, my every breath and cast me to thee abyss. I give these things willingly to only hold her for a moment and feel her mortality and taste her bliss. Or shall i remain forever lost to her, and only come to her in her drems as a theif in the night stealing her passion and leaving desires unkept. For in her i find my paradise, my own heaven she is my salvation, and without her touch i remain forever damned.

I feel desire raging inside my soul screaming to be released, yet i fear rejection, I have desired for so long to taste your passion that runs within you, to hold you close to me, to feel your heart beat in rythm with mine, to run my hands through your hair, and trace the lines on your face. I desire to be the one that kisses away the tears that gently streams down your cheeks. I desire to be the man that makes you smile when you feel like life has finally become undone. I desire to remind you every day why you should be cherished and desired every moment you walk this earth. I desire to to softly kiss your lips and and lose my self in the passion and become consumed by the fires that rage in my soul that only you can quench. I desire to slowly run my hands across your sensual body as our skin gently touches and i melt into you. I desire to look deep into your soul, to caress your beautiful face and spiral into nirvana with an eternal kiss, until i become one with your spirit. I desire to hold you until the night bows to the dawn and have you awake in my arms. Yet my soul rages against the dawn fortaking you away from me. for when the night subsides to the dawn, shall we part as strangers, alone agian, with only this moment in time to bind us. and you shall become and always remain my only desire.

I am but alone, lost and unnoticed, screaming inside with rage, yet i am silent to you. I cry alone in the darkness calling your name, yet you walk away. Am i wrong to feel such passion for you. Is this to be my cross to bare, has my heart forsaken me. Has my wings become stained with tears and holds me to the ground, Is my love to strong to be contained within this immortal coil. Does my passion run too deep. And is my soul destined to wander alone without you, through this wretched god forsaken world. As i pass by you, I become intoxicated by your essence, and relish in the thought of you in my arms. As you look up into my eyes just for a moment. I am transfixed for a lifetime. I find heaven in your eyes, as angels dance to the shimmering light that radiates from your soul. You have become so close to me at that moment. If i could only reach you, touch your face, kiss your lips, and taste the tears that fall like rain. and if i could only show you, that it is i you should desire, and i that could give you such passion, and fill your every wakening moment with love. and you would be cherished for all eternity, and as you lay sleeping, i watch you breath and curse the lord, for i know i will never have you. there for i remain damned to only watch from the shadows. as you become scarred from unjust love. I only wish to heal your heart, to tenderly kiss away all memories of past, that remain held so deep. yet my passion for you shall haunt my every memory, and linger with me through all eternity alone, for you have become my damnation.

as i lay here gripping your hand struggling to take a breath every time i inhale another pain surges through my chest i look into your eyes and find no regret only fear and hate as i lay here so close to death my body slightly convulses as i hands grip tighter i can taste the blood in my mouth i dont want to be a fighter the pain i feel is so intense as it shoots through my body i pray it will be quick a tear rolls down my cheeck as you wipe my little face i hear the paramedic say we did all we could he is not gonna make it say your last goodbyes my father holds my mother as she starts to cry i start to pray as you starts to repent you kneel beside me and whisper just let go that i need not hold on and no one will know as the voices fade and the light turns to black and theres nothin left to see i know why you want me to die because you did this to me

welcome home As i passed through the halls of your soul, and hid in the shadows of your mind. i created the dreams that haunted you, and the fear that grew inside. i tasted the salt from your tears as they fell to the ground. my laughter echoed inside your head. i am enthralled by the pain i brought you, and the torment i unleashed on you. you looked for answers and found nothing. you thought i was not real, that i did not exist. i was only a figment of someones imagination. it is you that is evil not i. i stole your dreams and crushed your hopes. i enabled your children to die. i invaded your heart and desecrated your innocents. i murdered your brothers and sisters in the name of god and country. yet you only feared, what you could see. i am the prince of the air. i am unseen, for i walk in the world of spirits. i was once the most beautiful angelic being, created by the breath of god. cast to the earth, my wings turned to ash. now at war with god. your soul was the wager. your existence was the game, and you were the pawn. and now the harvest is ready, now we shall reap. what have you sewn. as i come to you my child, and take your hand, with tears in your eyes you follow. as i caress your skin, and you feel the hate i bring. and the joy i feel, from your misery. you become my whore , my concubine, my toy, my slave. it was only a matter of believeing. yet you prefered to be neive. oh my little lambs, you have followed me to the slaughter. my road was much wider, paved with promise, much easier to follow. what did god give you? love for all eternity and glory in the after. look around you, see what i have given you now: greed, lust, anger, hate, gluttony, and vanity. all the wonders of life every thing you sought, i have given to you. and with open arms you accepted them, without question. now my children, we have met and you have come to me. welcome home

stop this pain have you ever wanted to be free do you long to let go of this coil and walk on the wind so take my hand and come with me their is no reason to fight just let go of this painful life we will run away into the night no one will find us and we will betray the light so forget this life and everything that holds you here no ones here to stop you does anyone even care will they even miss you did they ever notice you there so run with me let me set you free from this life hold on to me and dont be afraid can you hear me inside of you calling your name im all thats left please stop this pain