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pinkpantha's blog: "My Lyfe"

created on 02/14/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-lyfe/b55369

Unappreciated

She tries so hard and no one sees, Sees the perfect person she tries to be. She breaks down once and its a crime, She promises she'll hide her pain next time. People don't realize the force of their pressure, They don't realize that she's a treasure. Her mother is the worst, expects the world, Too much to ask from one simple girl. She’s always pleasant and gets good grades, Never talks back and always obeys, But oh no, that’s not enough, She has to be perfect to earn Mommy’s love. Of course, there’s more than just Mommy dear, There’s a matter of school and a matter of peers. They judge her every chance they get, They’ve judged her ever since they met. She’s not going to be perfect but it’s worth a try, This way she’ll have a goal to live by. She's awfully lonely and bitterly cold, She wants someone amazing to hold. She wants someone who will believe he has the world, He has her, the most wonderful girl. Obviously her wish will never come true, So trying even harder is all she can do. She'll never be enough, that she knows, But she'll keep smiling until her sadness shows. Every time she smiles, I see a frown, Every time she looks up, she's really looking down, She wipes her face lined with mascara tears, She says she was laughing if anyone hears, Hears her sobs of pain behind the closed door, If they hadn't come in, she could've cut some more. People just don't understand what words can do, A simple gesture or hug, too. She's unappreciated with bloodshot eyes, She's unappreciated and formed of lies.

Still i love him

She sits in her room crying herself to sleep think of all the promises that he don't seem to keep Black mascara tears under her swollen eyes red tears from her wrists torn apart by his lies She tried to trust him she wanted it so bad but everything was broken everything that they had Now her heart is bleeding fighting against endless pain she's all alone in her room no one else around to blame Holding the pills in her hand she just want to let it all go but even though he hurts her she still loves him so She feels an inner peace as she thinks of death the blood stops running as she takes her last breath
Theres a girl in the mirror whose looking back at me Tears and no self control are what my two eyes see Her face is slowly fading her smile turned to a frown How do I make this girl better instead of feeling down Theres a girl in the mirror whose crying out tonight And the darkness in her eyes can't be turned to light She reaches out her hand to hold, underneath her lies This girl is looking back at me with her innocent eyes How do I tell her that the sense of loneliness will fade Life's full of hope and accomplishment so don't be afraid The slightest trigger is all it'll take for this girl to snap Love will take its toll as she pours her heart on a map The girl that is looking back holds her tears to not cry But every forward step she takes gives her butterflies How can I make her see theres nothing to lose or gain When all this time her heart breaks out into lonely pain Theres a fire in her eyes that u can see burning inside But no one can stop the aches & pain even if they tried Let her run to find some shelter from the heavy storm Let her be lead to a place where her heart lie warm And this girl can't smile for her eyes will start to break She can't find her self as her heart continues to ache She leads to open a new door & leave the rest behind A sense of love and acceptance, cannot be declined Trying to push forward, with her eyes shut closed Watch me describe and take in the words composed Theres a girl in the mirror whose looking back at me Ask me how I know because she in the mirror is me

Broken hearts never heal

Unbearable pain buried Beneath fake smiles Unshed tears taunting My once strong eyes Memories of you Constantly haunt my dreams And when reality hits, Nothing is what it seems I watched you fall for her, As I have fallen for you Taking away everything I ever loved or knew It doesn't matter what is real All that matters is how you feel But the problem within lies here, Some broken hearts never heal
Funny when things never change Even when you say they will But while your off s(rewing her My life is standing still You tell me that you love me When I go to leave You tell me I'm your only one And I let myself believe I know that you are using me But you'll never let me go I know that you don't love me I know I'm just for show I don't know If I can stand To see you love another girl You know that you broke my heart You know that your my world But while your standing by my side I'll believe your lies forever Cause everything seems so perfect When we are together This is a true story about my last relationship please read thankyou have a wounderful day
Could you please stop yelling This screaming is hurting my head Please Dad, just quit cursing at me Stop acting as though I'm dead "Haven't you planned dinner yet?" No sorry Dad, i really did try But you pushed me aside again You feed me with more lies I'll try harder today, Dad! I'll clean up as much as i can Just so you can be proud of me And realize what sort of daughter i am Dad, why won't you listen? Is it because you don't care? I'm really sorry i was born I just wish you and Mom were there "Child, I wish you'd grow up" Well Mom i tried that to But every time i stood tall You told me i wasn't as good as you You always brought me down You told me to hide away Never was i allowed to live In my room i had to stay Did anyone know about me? Did you tell them i was your girl? I guess it was hard for you You never wanted me in the world Mom, i hate this pathetic family You both laugh in my face It's like you're both heartless So it's time to leave this place So before you have the chance to cry Or say that maybe you're sorry I'd just like to say I'm leaving And theres no need to worry I've packed my bags and I'm set I don't need my parents evil eyes You were both gutless and weak And now I'm free from the lies. -I wish my parents would care about me.-

What happened to Us ?

I used to say I loved you And that you were the one And I used to be so grateful That our relationship had begun But now that times have changed My love has turned to hate And I regret ever telling you That meeting you was fate I regret ever telling you About the hardships in my life Because you are now the reason Why my life is filled with strife I cry myself to sleep each night For this pain is just to real But the truth is that I miss you And the happiness you made me feel I wish I never loved you Or let you steal my heart Because now that you have left me My life is torn apart I gave you all my trust And you just threw it all away And I wish that you could see The pain I feel each day...

Mommy where did Daddy go ?

"Mommy? Where did daddy go?" She just turned and looked at me, She smiled but it wasn't real, "Honey, he's just busy." So I waited by the window, To watch for my daddy's car, "Mommy, why isn't he home yet?" "It's okay...he's not too far." That night I stood by her bed, "Mommy, daddy's not there!" "Its okay baby girl," she whispered, "He's asleep in a different bed somewhere." "Mommy...does dad still love us?" A tear came to her eye, "Of course he loves you, baby." She didn't want me to see her cry. Sometime a week later, My daddy finally came back, By now my mommy looked so tired, The circles under her eyes were black. That night I heard them arguing, "So where have you been??" My dad's voice was quieter, I couldn't quite hear them then. When I woke up he was gone, My mom hugged me tight. I petted her hair and kissed her cheek, "Mommy...its going to be alright." "Baby...your daddy loves you," "I know mommy...its okay." Deep down inside my little heart, I knew my daddy had gone away. "Your daddy has a new friend," My mommy's voice began to crack. "And baby, he really likes her a lot, Your daddy won't be coming back." My mommy and I sat together, We curled up into a little ball, She had tears streaming down her face, But I didn't cry at all................... "Mommy?" I touched her shoulder, "You and me will always be together, And no matter what anyone does... I'm gonna love you mommy. Forever." i wrote this poem on a lil switch to the other poems where the mom always dies so be careful pay attention your heart might cry
Seeing you so happy Completely tears me apart Cause I Know it's not me That resides in your heart It's her that makes you smile Something I could hardly ever do But you made me so happy Just because I was with you It's getting harder and harder As the days keep passing by I'm still stuck here alone And it's killing me inside I still can't seem to face The fact we're not together Cause I'd always thought We'd always be forever But you're so happy now I wish it was cause of me And I miss you so much I just want you to see Forcing my emotions down And putting on a fake smile Hoping soon you'll fade out Though it's already been awhile I just thought you should know About what I'm going through And of my biggest confession yet ....I still love you

I died without your love

I Died Without Your Love She lays there in the darkness Tears streaming down her face She wishes she could find away To leave this awful place Cause she’s sick of all the heartbreak She’s sick of all his lies She wants to get away from him But all she can do is cry He scarred her heart forever Without a single care He left her for another Her fragile heart to spare Now she sits and wonders How she will get through She pondered for a while Then decided what to do She’ll forget all about him Erase their days of joy Because he is not worth it And her heart is not a toy So she stopped her crying Away with all her tears She will find herself new love And forget about past years But the first time she saw him With new love by his side She slipped back into sadness But kept it all inside But when she got home that night She got out paper and pens To write out a bunch of notes To give to all her friends She told them she is done Living with this pain She told them that she loved them But had nothing left to gain Then she went into the closet And got out her dad’s gun And whispered softly to herself The pain is almost done Then she pulled the trigger Her life was now at end In a pool of blood she laid Until her mom walked in At first her mom was speechless Then she hung her head and cried How could she ever believe Her little girl had died Days later at the funeral He came slowly through the door He couldn’t look at anyone His face down to the floor He knew he was the reason She took out that gun He knew he was the reason Her life was now done He walked up to the casket And said he was sorry I never would have guessed, he said You felt this strong toward me Then he lifted up his head And looked straight up above Then he heard her whisper back I died without your love
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