pinkpantha's blog: "My Lyfe"

This sucidical website says it all the way to end are lifes is the way we make others crash and fall its not common that i come on here but it common i listen to others problems become like mine the problem of noone to listen or to let your mind unwinde this sucicidal website is what makes me understand why mine are no differnet then any other problems because i am the only one left to hand . because i may live a perfect life but my my problems are more then skin deep i was in the edge of hopelessness but then i herd god speak he said to me its your time to say goodbye to those who have not herd you yet he also said that it will be a offering that no one will forget i know this sucidial website has everyone at command to wounder who might just end up next on the news of a perfect life that was just abused becasue my life is perfect doesnt mean my problems are not like yours because i have bipolar doesnt mean im not to let you be the controller of my life to because my life is not the same theres nothing more in life to gain then to end my life with a sorry and a goodbye because by the end of this i am going to die not of self enfliction but of pain and sorrow and a promise of a better tomorrow so before you think you could stop me now just think of i'll be in a better life with angels surounding me and and comming to my ever need that my dear is not sucide but a promise of a better life

She screamed so loud not a sound was heard they saw right through didn't hear a word she didn't need to say it in her eyes despair was lit she seemed so normal just a tiny bit sad after she was gone they all felt bad how could they have missed the obvious clues it seemed so simple once they heard the news thats why she acted the way that she did they should have known she wasn't just a kid she told the truth but they didn't care all they did was fuss over their hair how could they ignore the tell tale signs she was choking in a jungle full of vines the rose among the thorns her beauty trapped within her life consumed with hate and the never ending sin she sat alone so many times and stared sadly ahead they always ignored her to them she was already dead a few weeks later after she was gone they finally noticed and pretended to mourn she looked down from the sky from heaven above she had but one regret she never knew love...

These Hurting Words They Throw In My Face I Gag And Gag, I Starve In Hate Once I Was "Fat Girl" Now I'm "Frail" I'm Miss "Anny" With a Story To Tell Of a Life Without Eating And a Body Of Hell I Thought Thin Was Everything I Wanted To Be But I Didn't Know "Anny" Would Take All Of Me Shes A Disease That Haunts My Mind And Torments Me With Every Pound She Finds I Go To The Toilet Everyday In Vain In Hopes Of Throwing Up My Roothless Pain The Taste In My Mouth Is Tangy And Bitter My Bones Are Fragile And Starting To Wither I'm In a Coma, Submerged In Black I Hear People Talking But i Can't Answer Back I Hear a Doctor Say "I'm Sorry Miss Your Daughters To Thin" "With Her Disease Theres No Way She Can Win" I Gaged Away My Voice I Should Have Eaten When i Had The Choice Now I Know Today i Shall Die A Casket Of Bones, With "Anny And I"

I look in the mirror Tears fall from my eyes Washing away the makeup My only disguise Scared of what’s hidden Behind the paint My eyes and lips My skin so faint Always walking around With my head held high Dose anyone know I cry inside I’ve cried for so long Because of the way I look Always hiding inside Reading my books To scared for people to see What lies under it all The makeup the smile I’m so tempted to fall I hate what I am What I’ve become I’m trying so hard To undo what’s been done I look at my friends admiring their beauty Only ever wishing I could be As beautiful as all the people That forever surrounds me But I’ll never change Forever I will hide My sad face My empty inside Locked in my room Away from reflected glass Just waiting for time And my life to pass because under the make up is a girl you dont see under the make up is where you'll find me

She was pretty, she was thin, her perfect body, her perfect skin. brunette hair, and big, hazel eyes, long legs and skinny thighs. "She could be a model!" that's what they all said, but no one knew that on the inside she was dead. When she looked in the mirror, pain, hurt, disgrace, she couldn't stand to see her own face. Her reflection scared her, it showed someone fat, what had happened to the girl that once was all that? She felt like a failure, she felt like dirt, she was the only one who didn't see the rib bones through her shirt. This wasn't it, this wasn't who she wanted to be, she couldn't imagine the skeleton everyone else seemed to see. She took the sharp knife, down from the shelf, standing there, miss Anorexia herself. Her eyes, as dark as coal, her heart, a big, black hole. Her skin, so very cold, too many secrets left untold. She couldn't do it, she was too weak, more and more tears, streamed down her cheek. To her, inner beauty was just a silly phrase, no one cared about that, they all wanted a pretty face. No one there, to tell her she was wrong, to hold her hand, and help her stay strong. No one to tell her everything would be okay, and that all this pain would soon go away. On the inside she had died, a long time ago, yet no one saw, her happiness was all a big show. No one knew anything, that all this time she had been lying, now pretty girl lays on the floor, pale, skinny and dying. Maybe if someone had bothered, to ask if everything was okay, this girl would still be alive today. this poem i wrote is about me and its true cause im struggling with anorexia for 3years now yea since i was 16 but its getting better and im gettin help but theres so much more out there then people make it out to be cause i know theres gurls like me and this poem is going to help them through cause i am that gurl whos know what your going through so please read and enjoy and dont try to do the same things i did please believe in when people are tryin to help dont push them away just please sit there and listen to what they have to say thankyou Luv the ex prom queen her self

I'm going to tell you a tale about a little girl who's life god didn't put together very well. Her mom always beat her. she was raped at such an early age everyone she ever loved didn't feel the same. she couldn't stand the pain. she couldn't stand the sorrow everything she was waiting for she hoped would come tomorrow. her mom hit her so she would try to run away but every time she got caught it just caused her more pain. she never did anything to deserve such abuse her mom made her feel so low "please mommy stop" she would beg that cry would get her another blow she must not have been loved for she was punished by cigarette burns her face black and blue her little arm broken in two. she would hit her hard and call her names "your a waste and should be ashamed" I love you mommy was all she said. "shut your mouth" she would scream or i will hit you again. she couldn't stand the pain she couldn't stand the sorrow everything she waiting she hoped would come tomorrow she never saw this coming this wasn't how she wanted the night to end she was set up by someone she thought was her "best friend" she thought it would be fun but for what she didn't know her "best friend" betrayed her the true side of this guy would show he jumped on her, she screamed please get off treated like a w**** like she deserved it almost like it was what she was asking for as she tried to get him off he said oh baby your so tight then slammed her head against the heater and said "don't try to fight" afterword's she just sat their in pain not knowing what to do tell she heard him scream "b**** i will kill you. she couldn't stand the pain she couldn't stand the sorrow everything she was waiting for she hoped would come tomorrow Andy you hurt her you did what you said was a lie all she wants is her like to end what she wants is to die. she thought you were the one who cared she thought you loved her with all your heart that you were meant to be together and that you would never part. It was the best time of her life love that she thought would never die not even from the end of a knife she really thought you loved her all she knew was she loved you she went through all those abusive relationships and you helped her through plus she had to deal with her mom but she could take the beatings cause she had you, and you helped her through all she knew was she loved you. she couldn't stand the pain she couldn't stand the sorrow everything she was waiting for she hoped would come tomorrow. But what all these people that hurt her didn't know every night she came home she would run into her bathroom to rid the pain inside her little soul she couldn't stop, she pushed and pushed as she looked in the mirror she watched the crimson flow mixing with every icy tear looking in the mirror only brought tears she couldn't stand her life at only 14 years on her arm she created a pretty picture or a time line of her life no patch of peach skin left every little scar carved by a knife the next morning she woke up pain on each arm each cut still crimson red all she wanted was to be dead she couldn't stand the pain she could't stand the sorrow everything she was waiting for wasn't coming tomorrow so that morning when she went to school she decided life was to much so she took 200 pills before she got on the bus..................... lying on the bathroom floor her "best friend" came running in calling 911 on her phone its fine you will be fine and your not alone her eyes half way open she can barely see all that is around is people in green they put her in the ambulance and pulled out of the parking lot this isn't how it was suppose to work she wasn't suppose to get caught............. this little girl was treated and still living but she still is always depressed and we don't know when her next attempt will be oh and i forgot to tell you that little girl was me. this is true everything. please comment and vote i would really like to know what you think. this is a true story about a friend of mine i was inspired to wite casue i know what she goes through ever night it was sad for me to write but i wrote in place of me to protect her name

Everyday of her life She walks around Walking through the halls Staring at the ground She doesn't have a friend She is all by herself She goes home at night And takes her book off the shelf She writes down what happened What went down that day You can tell the days she cryed cause the drops don't go away If you look on every page You can see little stains You see where the ink ran The memory remains In this little book She writes what's on her mind And no one really knows All the pain that is behind Behind every story Every single poem she wrote Behind her pretty smile Behind her suicide notes No one really new and no one really cared I don't think anyones life Could really be compared Because no one cared Because she had no friends She wrote her last story About her life she would soon end She wrote it in the book On the very back cover Cause the pages had been filled For what people would soon discover They would finally get to read All the story's that she wrote About the things she went through They would read every single note Her last entry was dated April 7th 2005 It was titled Now I'm not alive By the time someone found her She was soaking in her blood The book was there beside her Also soaking in the flood For many years after The book was never read Until someone found it And 3 days later they were dead They killed themselves Cause of so much guilt They never realized All the pain that they built So anyone out there Who likes to taunt and tease Remember this story And oh just stop please -Please comment or vote- Means alot-

He wakes up thinking maybe today will be the day everything will be alright but soon he'll realize he'll be crying thosse lonely tears tonight As screams ring in his ears and cuts run down his arms he tries to be ok trying to act like he doesnt know about lifes harms only a boy of 5 years old should never know this pain but he does as pain shoots threw every vein Never knowing any different from fights and tears never knowing what its like to live without all these fears all he hears is "your not good enough" and "why are you here" thosse are the times he prays he could just disappear One last hit thats all he could take He'd be doing them a favor he was just a mistake Thats the night that god took him for his own He'd never feel anymore pain He'd always be with him sitting beside the golden throne..

Daddy i remember when i was a little girl you'd hold me in your arms to protect me from this world daddy do you remember when i was about seven are family was always smiling until i was past eleven Daddy i remember wed have so much fun but when i turned 12 things started to come undone daddy do you remember? when you used to be relaxed you didn't worry about money or about the horrible pasts daddy i remember you'd carry me on your shoulders i looked up to you like my hero you were my defensive soldier daddy i remember you'd always make me laugh but then things started to change.. my smile hardly ever came back daddy i remember one night you came home mommy was asleep i was all alone.. i remember how you hit me slapped me in the face i didn't no what was going on what happened to this place daddy don't you remember Anna came in the room she started to scream yelling rite at you she said what the hells your problem you looked at her with hate then you turned around and slapped me in the face i tried to get away but then you pulled me back mommy then got up my heart was torn in half daddy do you remember when you took it out on this girl who used to be your princess the ballerina you would twirl daddy i remember you emptied my soul just from that one night you beat me i never told you could have gone to jail daddy you told me you could hurt me what happened to the old you this was to horrible to believe i thought i was your little girl i thought you loved me to self fish is what you are dad but i really do hate you you tore me in half you took everything i had never again will i smile real ill always be full of sad daddy do you remember when i used to love you do you remember when you were my role model now i have to hate you daddy do you remember all the times you were drunk and scared me you called mommy names that were to hard to believe daddy do you remember when you went of the wall you were acting insane you had to take it all you took away are lives you took away are laughs you took away are childhoods you tore everything in half daddy do you know since you beat me i started to use a knife that night you hit and punched me i tried to end my life daddy you ruined it all you made life so hard I'm trying to heal from the day you emptied out my heart daddy i have no more to say i wish things were like before to bad you already messed up i cant deal with you anymore Signed To: Daddy From: your little girl

Oh innocent girl, So free and full of life. What made you turn to tears, And the blade of your knife? Your tears, they are a poison. They are acid on your cheek. What turned you to this mess, That pain is all you seek? What happened to the laughter, And the weekends full of fun? That now your thoughts are filled, With bullets and a gun. What happened to your friends? Have you turned against them all? Turned to popping pills, In your bedroom down the hall. What brought you to disaster, And to give yourself away? To forget all your talents, And make you go astray. Did you do this to yourself? Was this path all your choice? Or was it another person, Someone else's voice? Are you really all that sad? And too lonely to go on? That your heart is filled with pain, And the map is already drawn? Is this really the end? Is it where you should be? Because I know how it is. Since this girl is really me.