pinkpantha's blog: "My Lyfe"

I look back now And shed a tear Those pushed away Who came so near? Who touched my heart? And touched my soul I left them out To take control I was scared, I was unsure, Loved them all, but never told. Scared of fear, And all alone, Left outside, and in the cold. I couldn?t tell them Thoughts of mind Silence screaming Binding time I look back now And cringed that I Couldn?t see the truth from lies If you knew who I once was Listen carefully because If i pushed you far from me It was for your sake I let it be And now I want to say sorry I loved you once As only time can tell And love you now I torment in my hell For not ringing your bell And admitting that I fell? In love with you

A picture so beautiful but as i look at the picture I see pain because once in my life I had love, now its gone and nothings the same We went our separate Ways but in his heart love changed i guess I'm the only one that will always feel the same My love i felt for him was not just a game i truly loved him and without him I'll never be the same A picture so wonderful But in this picture I thought we would always be I never thought I would be alone With no one to love me They say if you stand for nothing You'll fall for anything I thought he really loved me But i guess i didn't Stand for a thing Because i fell in love with him I let him break my heart in two I wanted him to love me so bad I tried to cover up the truth In this picture I see happiness But in the mirror i see pain In this picture i see forever In the mirror i see rain As i look at this picture i can now see nothing stays the same A photograph of pain because we will never be and love changed!

This story that I'm saying, it happened & its true.. she couldn't live without him bet he knew it too. He was her friend and used to calm her fears She knew him since childhood for almost sixteen years. All was fine with them everything was going cool one day he just stopped talking and she ended up the fool. All she wanted of him was just to be her friend but he doesn't care how can her heart mend ? She begged him everyday everyday for a whole year, "please talk to me my friend i cant do without you here" He turned a deaf ear to her he ignored all her cries, she was all so caught up In a world full of lies. She had no option She really had no hope, He was gone & wont be back this fact she couldn't cope. One day she sat & reminisced of her childhood days of joy, when they used to play together a little girl & a little boy. A single tear escaped her eye followed by a million more Her heart was so broken her soul was hurting sore.. She went then to the kitchen and found a sharp knife, She closed her eyes and thought of him She wanted to end her life.. She fell then to the floor now nothing will be the same, her last word was a whisper I think she spelt his name. Next day her mother came and found her doors locked, when she broke into her room she was totally shocked. There lay her daughter her body pale white, floating in an ocean of blood for she had died that night. In life the girl had nothing to win so she chose to lose, her death was then announced in every city news ! One day he heard of it, her death reached his ear, he'd just lost someone forever who had held him so dear. In years, for the first time tears filled his eye, "why couldn't she have lived? why did she choose to die"? He went to see her grave, He stood where she was laid He knew if only he was her friend this situation would be saved. He was the cause for her death If he phoned her she wouldn't have died now what would you call this ? Murder or Suicide ? This story is very much true Its something i can foresee, He still doesn't wanna talk and the girl of course is me !

Images in my eyes Stories of our lives Trickle down the wall Ignoring reality's call In a distant place With no time or space Only gentle memories What a painful tease Making me think That in just one blink I could maybe return Have; for which I yearn Have no more wishing Have no more missing To attain my desire Put out this fierce fire Burning in my heart It is tearing me apart All those times are gone And it feels so wrong

Bloody Reflection Looking into a broken mirror in a dimly lit room The light annoyingly flickers on and off repeatedly A buzzing or humming noise echoes from wall to wall The scent of blood that stains the sink is fresh in the air Time stands still as drops of water tap the sink one by one Slowly the water streams red as it mixes in with blood Shards of glass lay scattered across the grotesque floor A bathroom in a broken down home kept dirty and tainted Pipes can be seen through the gaping holes in the ceiling The wallpaper is torn and pieces are crumbled on the floor Ripped curtains at the window and one hiding the rusted tub In the corner stands an unsanitary toilet cracked and stained In the broken mirror stare blurry eyes filled with tears Bloody fingers grip a single piece of glass a little too tight The next arm is sleeveless and a bare wrist waits patiently A straight line of blood is carved as skin is torn from glass Over and over again lines begin to cover the skin with red Flesh and nerves are torn violently by biting jagged edges Pools of blood collected in the sink mix with falling tears One last cut, one last tear, one last breath and all is dark

At night as I lie awake I think of all my bad ways. The half truths I tell and all the hate I felt. And as my memories start to fade the darkness starts to invade. My hopes and dreams are all gone but is this what I wanted all along? then I realize that i cry and my eyes they are full of tears but theres no one to hear. Because I'm alone left out in the cold. My feelings i try to hide keeping everything hidden in the inside. because no one cares all they do is just stare. So I just try to blend and follow the trend. I try to smile but it only lasts a little while No one knows who I really am