I was walking down the street when I met a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner..
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it?
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said.
'I need to spend all my time trying to stay ! alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman.
I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner
with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked.
'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that?
I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'!
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to
enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each
time he has to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured
he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So
when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly
obvious to his wife that he was keying in........
P...
E...
N...
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***