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365832's blog: "My Thoughts!!!"

created on 04/11/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-thoughts/b72799
I put my faith in those so strong Only to find that it was place so wrong I trust, dream, and make so many plans When it involves someone else, I find I am damn So when you ask me to trust you completely My doubts begin to set in so deafly Work hard, yes you must To gain any of my fragile trust I know I am very jaded Constantly I examine and you shall be graded I can only tell you that someday I shall be worth it If only you can pass my toughest test and keep it My fragile dreams, hopes, and trust I keep guarded and so very close. Written by Paulette ~12-15-2008~
Every waking moment I ponder... My mind working overtime... The biggest question of my life... That has yet to be answered... Who Am I? Many put labels on my soul... Thinking they know me best... They shine on the eccentricities That perhaps explains small parts of me... Yet they don't understand the whole... Who Am I? As I ask myself time and again... I search to the endless depths of my soul... With each step I grow... With each new discovery... I come close... Only to find I have not yet found... WHO I AM.... Written by Paulette ~4-30-2008~
In My Darkness… In my darkness I find you there, Waiting to embrace me, comfort me, You pick up the pieces of my soul, Gently handing them to me, Letting me know, where they belong. In my darkness you become a kindred soul, Not depending on me to be there, Nor letting me depend on you, You know where I am and I know why you are there. In my darkness you are there, You gently bandage my knees when I fall, Because you know how they hurt, For you have the same scars. In my darkness you comfort me, Because you need my comfort in return. You freely give me your passion, Because you need mine as well. In my darkness I know you are there, And you my dark dearest friend, Know I will always be there... In my forever darkness. Written by Paulette ~3-21-2008~
As I gaze up into the stars this night, I know that I am insignificant. As the blackness of the night fades, I know I am insignificant. As daylight approaches the horizon, I know I am insignificant. As I watch the world around me awaken to the new day, I know I am insignificant. As people pass me by throughout their busy day, I know I am insignificant. As loved one’s hurry about, taking care of their own, I know I am insignificant. When I look into the eyes of a past lover, I know just how insignificant I really am. As I travel this life and learn all the life lessons that I must, I know that I am very much insignificant. Written by Paulette ~4-27-2008~
O tangled webs you weave, Thinking that I can't see. Naively you think they are strong Enough to entangle me. O fool you become Even now you don't see Your lies they come to surface Your deceit breaks and crumbles. Time for you to leave my path Go far away and weave new webs. Do so before I lose my senses And crush you beneath my thumb. You senseless fool To think that fantasy Is better than life that's so real. Life that takes pure precious moment, And encapsules them in our hearts For all eternity. Too bad you will miss out On what this short life is all about. Your heart will always be full Of nothing but poison, So that you can continue To weave your web of deceit and lies. Written by Paulette ~4-11-08~
Am just so tired.... Tired of our government screwing us over more than they are helping us. Of the war and endless bickering of who do we side with. Of the soldiers losing their lives for something that in my mind could be solved easily and quickly. Of the hatred of the world against our country. But those same countries that detest us, want everything we have. Am just so tired.... Tired of all the hate in our own land. Of the horrors that are done to our children. Of everyone thinking their own view or agenda is more important than anyone else. Of the rape, murder, and abuse that is dealt to the weak. Am just so tired... Tired of all the lies that people tell me. Of the deceit and deception. Of the manipulation. Of the pain. Of the confusion. Am just so tired.... Tired of being weary. Of being mistrusting. Of being forced to hatefulness. Am just so tired... Tired of people trying to change me. Of trying to mold me into what is their opinion of a perfect being. Of people not letting me be me. Am just so tired... Tired of breathing. Just so tired.... Written by Paulette ~3-20-2008~
Taste me, Devour me, Absorb me into your mind and your soul. Maybe then you shall Know all of who I am. ~Written by Paulette~ 1-23-2008
I am in a crowded world. But still I am alone. People are looking towards me. From what I see in their eyes, They don't truly see me. They make themselves busy talking to me. Never do they take a moment to truly listen. Some do try, but always fail in the end. I am a simple person, not very hard to understand. Yet people fail to see who I really am. Sometimes I try to make them see, to understand me. My tries only end in frustrating me. Why do they fail to see me? I fail in the end, Instead of the friend I seek, an enemy I find. Years spent adrift upon this human sea, Finds me searching constantly looking into eyes, Hundreds upon hundreds do I seek Signs of recognition, only to find none. In this vast sea of human life, I am alone. ~Paulette~ 1-5-2008
No more tears... No more tears for you No more tears for me No more tears left My tears are drying Looking nasty, putrid Turning into rage Slowly festering Infected with such a rage No room for tears anymore Swollen putrid puss of rage How long will it take to heal? Will my heart ever be the same? Will it ever heal? ~Written by Paulette~ 1-1-2008

Sometimes I feel I'm not that strong...sometimes I feel alittle fragile....what a great way to start the new year.... Love Hurts [Delta Goodrem - Fragile]

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