All you need is cancer's blog: "my first fucking blog"

Do I even want to talk about this with them is one of my favorite topics of thought, I've found. Seriously, if I make a point out of something why do people who are on my side of the arguement go and fuck that up by being just as stupid and fucking ignorant. I want people to stop agreeing with me if possible. I get way too many fucking idiots doing it. Seriously, if you have an opinion that is equally ignorant to that which I mock you are not supposed to agree with me. You are a bigot. You're a prejudice dumb shit. Why the hell do people always have put things down to us vs them. Them is dehumanizing. Its a generalization. How fucking stupid can you be make things so god damned narrow. Idiot! All of you. People I've dated. My friends. You all do this and I just get sick to death from it. It really makes me wonder what the fuck the point is. Why is everyone I know like this? Is it so fucking hard to question every thing, especially your stupid fucking made up beliefs. I want to start going to church again. I'm getting to that point of being a lapse catholic and not an atheist. I'm sick of looking for answers and not finding them. I'm sick of people I'm around who claim to be atheists that have no concept of a reason for their belief. It just always boils down to, "fucking christians." What the fuck does that mean. Are you a fucking idiot? Fucking christians? Is that the best your pea brain can come up with. I sometimes wonder why I'm so antisocial and I don't want to blame myself, however, this is the one time I feel completely justified in blaming those around me. You give a bad example of humanity. You make me not want to be around people because of the stupid things you say. I mean stupid. Completely stupid. Lacking in intelligence completely. Not having one fucking iota of thought put forth before you opened your fucking mouth. I can go on and have been just ranting so I'll stop. Fuck.

I've been thinking a lot about pop culture and music scenes and shit and I've come to something. Rockabilly is really fucking stupid. Now bare with me. I know a lot of people that like that shit and thats their choice. Why should I say shit about anything someone else likes? Well that being said I do it because it is in my nature. I cant help that. So you can fuck off. Anyway, rockabilly is the celebration of pop music from half a century ago. What the fuck is the point of that. You totally fucking neglect that actual good artistic movements of that decade for instance the beat movement. You had voices that led in to the myriad creative movements of the sixties a much improved decade as far as selfexpression goes in my not so humble and highly egotistical fucking opinion. So allow me to continue with my opine for I will do so with verve and a lack of consent. There are great and brilliant artists that existed during the fifties and chiefly as a result of the sucktastic advances of the popular culture of that time. Seriously, can you respect yourself after seeing those septuagenerians on the classics of the fifties time life cd hocking commercials? That makes me less inclined by degrees as vast as the universe from being interested in something as banal as the popularization of a form of pop music and culture that belied all of the bull shit intolerance that existed in that decade. Fuck you and this american sleep shit. That is worse than the epitomy of the ostrich which is the american populace. Its looking back so far and away from what is good and beautiful to enjoy more of what is cheap and tawdry. You enjoy the Brittney Spears of your parents. How does that make you feel? It makes me feel that you don't think. Thats not a beautiful and wonderful thing. That is catching one self up in pop culture shit. Thats a total lack of interest in art and and over interest in style. Style being bull shit and art being outright blunt mother fucking truth. Scum fucks.

Has anyone ever told you that they are hardcore goth? What the fuck does that mean? You are hardcore into wearing black and going to dance clubs? Thats like being hardcore fucking disco. What kind of retarded statement is that. Why the fuck do people attach greater meaning to fucking trivialties? Ew this is how I dress and this what I like. I am hard fucking core! You know I can understand it when there is some form of believe system attached to it past some fucking fashion show bull shit that is the truth behind every god damned "sub-culture" fasade. How are you individual when you're just buying into some more corporate bull shit. Keep spending money on every fucking piece of merchandise metalhead goth punk what the fuck ever. Thats all you are is another stupid fuck consumer. You're not an individual. You're not hardcore into any philosophy or social standpoint. Hardcore christian at least makes sense. You are a mother fucking christian. You are devout and immovable in your faith and belief in your god. What the hell are you hardcore about when you're a hardcore goth. I really likes me some fucking industrial and dancing in platformy shoes. I really need to stop looking at shit on the internet. My credulity suffers at everything I look at. At least I never use the word automaton. Fucking high school wannabe sophist bull shit buzz word that is. Thats one of those words that irks the shit out of me. You get that one thrown at you in sophomore year of high school if you've never read and isaac azimov before that time and suddenly people use it over and over describe those who are not like they are. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, but I feel everyone is pretty fucking ridiculous in their beliefs. Thats all they are though they're not really. They're thoughts. What can be more fucking ephermeral than that. The most god damned transient thing in existence is what you're thinking right now. Thats what it doesn't matter at damn fucking all. And a tirade later I'm done. Mother fuck.

Hello world, its me again with my burning questions. Here it is: why the fuck do people shave their eyebrows and draw on stupid looking fake ones. I know they're fake. Everyone fucking knows they're fake. They don't look real. Hell they don't even fucking look good, but people insist upon taking a sharpee to their fucking head and drawing on these ninety angle looking things over their eyes. You know eyebrows aren't evil. In fact eyebrows are pretty normal. People look rather foolish without them. Most people wouldn't even notice that they were missing exactly until thinking about it after seeing someone without eyebrows. Its one of those, "I know something was off there" scenarios. Then they think about it and say, "THAT PERSON HAD A HUGE FUCKING FOREHEAD!" Or something like that. Anyway the one pencil line cartoon character eyebrows look stupid. That I draw a parenthesis or bracket over my eye shit doesn't hold much water in my opinion. You look stupid. You look like a poor attempt at an animted character's face. Here are my fourty-five degree angle eyebrows and done a 3d dimensional head with a 2 dimensional face's features. Fuck dumb.

've found that whenever I look at people on dating sites I'm left wondering why the fuck would I want to talk to them. Its not that their bad people and are probably fairly nice. Its that they are disinteresting. Whenever I read one of these things people always come off sounding silly. Not phoney necessarily, but just silly. All the people who are on their seriously as well as those on their to just see how many people want to fuck them. I look at a lot of things on the internet around four or five in the morning so I have a pretty good grasp on what people will write. The one I find most irritating is that "I don't know what to write about myself" bull shit. You can make anything an adjective with quotations apparently. Anyway, most people will talk endlessly about what they think. Most people only think about how things affect them anyway. How is it this incredible leap to write down what the fuck you like? I just cant describe myself. Listen you're not that fucking complex. This is theoretical physics and it certainly is not organic chemical equations. Get a fucking grip on yourself and say something honest. I'm overly honest about everything. People hate that. They expect tact, but I reserve tact for people I feel deserve it. You do not automatically warrant tact in my world. You get as much as you deserve. Some people gain tact values others lose them. Tangents aside, it really just boggles the mind. Then there are this simplistic craptastic descriptions which always seem to describe the individual as down to earth. What the fuck does that mean? Gravity affects you like all other objects? The world sucks and you prove it by being held down to it? Stop with the fucking bull shit metaphors. Shit self fucking assesment is the gift of knowledge of self. You know you exist. You have an ego. You are elevated above the mental capacity of an animal. Think fucking critically. After that start thinking about how you treat other people because all I seem to see is that everyone is self centered. Its always I want. Here is great discussion in that regard. People are too selfish for marriage. Bull shit, marriage is all about selfishness. You want that person to yourself. People just have no clue regarding debate. I just want me time. Well some people just want me persons. Stop filling your head with useless beliefs about everything or at the very least question the bull shit you believe. I am so prone to tangents when I cant sleep. Seriously though people just accept the shit they come up with. It is crap you realize? Its not real. Its just what you think. Thats all it is none of it is real. Just a bunch of fallacies you perpetuate to yourself so that you can feel alright. Keep the little use and thems you have going. God I'm such a fucking hippie about somethings. Question it all. Its not fucking real unless you tell yourself it is enough to the point where you believe your opinions are fact. There are no fucking facts. I can go on and on like this. No facts at all. Just a bunch of bull shit rules you apply to explain all the crap you see. I need order it makes no sense. Fuck. And to think all this started out

Well its about that time. That time when some people are waking up to start their day. I'm getting close to thirty I just realized. I have no idea what I want to do. I work at a dead end job with shit benefits. I have a degree in art. The sky is beyond unattainable right now. I cant sleep so I'm probably a tad on the pessimistic side. So, I'm sitting around, awake, thinking about nothing important. Those are the thoughts that seem to keep people up most of the time. Have you ever noticed that. You cant sleep because retarded useless things keep running through your mind. Like trying to remember the name of the looney tunes character that was the little duck. Imagine lying awake at night with that thought. But thats just the kind of things to keep you awake. An elusive thought. Some banal nothing you know you could remember if you weren't so tired, but you are. You're so tired, but sleep is insouciant. You cajole and plead with sleep, but it remains impervious to ministrations. You take a sleeping aid. A pill or whatever and no sleep just mocks you. Sleep is unvexed by your attempts and Hypnos lies around in his checkered pajamas enjoying a nice dream while you ponder viaduc vy not a chicken. Fuck you sleep. Your a cock sucker. Sleep is like meeting a girl you like. I mean really like. She is beautiful until she opens her mouth and then all you can do is sit and enjoy the ride. Dating, great idea boys and girls. That is sleep though. Sleep is a bad date. Sleep is how I feel about humanity. I cant get into unless it just kind of absorbs me. Sort of like a baby seal. Clubbed and taken away. How come they never do one of those stupid working class budweiser commercials for the baby seal clubber. He does a blue collar job. Where is his stupid fucking retard white trash commercial for people fucking tarded senses of humors. I think he deserves a dumb commercial. Speaking of dumb commercials does anyone really think they are going to get an immediate fuck out of the stupid singles add being put on this site? Thats what they want to say to you. Shit I know sex sells, but I hope there is a little more of people being cynical to your fucking ad campaign. Look I'm naked with the logo over my tits doesn't make me want to buy. Do you know why? Because I know you're full of fucking bull shit. Whenever you put an attractive person and only an attractive person with your logo as your add I know its crap. It cant be good because you product doesn't look good by itself. You dress it up with some hot cock and there you go. Give me some tits and I'll buy? Fuck you I won't buy shit. In fact I'll buy less because I know better. I know axe doesn't make women want to fuck me. It makes me less dirty. That increases my chances from when I was dirty for the majority of all women. God I wish terrorists would attack the targets that deserve like advertising and marketing firms, but no they attack where people work. P.S. I know there are multiple spelling errors. I was fucking tired. I'd been tired for something over an hour and a half, but couldn't sleep. I then decided to write a little in order to work out the mental kinks. So, if you have a problem with spelling errors I would just like to ask you to go play a nice game of hide and go fuck yourself.

I fucking hate walmart. I'm standing in line and to the front and back of me are these sixteen year old obese mommies that have like three kids each. The brats are running around and crying tearing each others throats open cajoling for mcdonalds and screaming bloody murder. I hate children. I put my son glasses on hoping that some kind of shield or filter would blot out some of the sound. I thought self check was supposed to be fast, but oh no they cant figure out the use of the condom so how could they use a stupid scanner. Kids screaming. Candy candy I just want some heroin to nod off the cacophony. Something to blot out the screams that burn brighter than the sun. Blinding me in this horrible thing. The lane next to me has some guy with a completely full cart. Thats why I'm sandwiched between "families". I'm still standing there when the full cart leaves. I thought it would take him longer since the people in front of me only had a few items. He has something along hte lines of twenty or two thousand things in his cart. Done without a hitch. I hate walmart. I'm still standing wanting to die. My faith in humanity leaking out through my god damned feet. I forgot toilet paper in costco and didn't want to go back. Theres a two liter bottle of johnny walker red label in there that costs thirty bucks. That bottle is screaming for me write now. Singing a sirens song to embrace it and love the oblivion and calm it creates in catatonia. Black label costs only twenty dollars in costco. That is twelve year old scotch....a smooth slow burn that would kill the screaming children in my fucking head. Anyone wonder why I won't have kids?

You know I may complain a lot, but I can fucking wake up in the morning. Give me 8 minutes and I'm out the door and clean at the same time. This bull shit fucking commercialized energy drink shit is seriously gaying up everyone. I need help to wake up give me an energy drink. I can't stay up. I need some ginseng. Fuck that you people are just not capable. Seriously you make me want to spout all those platitudes my drill sergeant would spit out. I can't look at someone who says "Sissy La La" and not feel an urge to slap them. But I am found wanting to hit all you fucktards with that same DI aphorism. So what some fucking soft drink company says drink our shit it will make you feel better so you do. Here this is what heroin slangers say, "Shoot up it makes you feel better." You fucking idiots. I think I'd rather shoot up. I need the sleep. I cant fucking sleep. YOu bastards complain about not being able to wake up. You're just bull shit. You're those bitch ass fuckwits who take an hour to wake up. Sitting with your fucking cheerios groaning until you get into your car so you can cause an accident because you're half awake. Fucking liquor doesn't help me sleep and I can wake up fine after my four hour naps. I need an energy drink. I need a latte. I need you to shut the fuck up. I can't sleep. Just be fucking happy you get tired at some point. I never am. Never fucking ever. I sleep like shit while you have trouble getting up. Whaaa! p.s. I'm pretty drunk at this point trying to sleep...i still hate you...shift key too far away...must talk...like this...i'm...dict..at..ing...ahhhhhh.

The army is still in a recruiting slump and I've been giving some thought to how they could change this. I think if they give the people they sign up a pound of marijuana they'd get more people from the gang infested and heavily violent areas in our country. Just hang around Flint Michigan with Marine recruiters passing a bowl. Looking from Crips or Bloods. It would work. They all have the same color uniform after recruitment anyway. Just give them what they'd want to get in. You've got a militarized populace there. Our ass backward corporate ghettos can easily supply troops for our country. They know how to shoot already as it is. Why not use that economic inequality. Just ask the CIA for a little share of their drugs and hey you'd have divisions of willing young men. A pound on enlistment and a brick a month. That would solve the waning interest in joining the military as opposed to going to college for six years for the master's degree required to get any job paying over 35k a year to start. Six years in the army with all the pot you can smoke, lots of ammo, and a ready supply of targets is all you need to get the violent disenfranchised population of our poor urban centers. Just a thought. PS Ironically I'm considering reenlisting, but when a thought like this hits I just have to go with it.

Ah, christ. This is not a popular subject. People still think my hobby is puerile. I play video games a lot. I read a lot yes, but I also play video games. Anyway, my topic is that of Manhunt 2's being shit canned for the time being by the lords of game publishing Sony and Nintendo. Now, a rating system is in place for games, the ESRB. That stands for something. I know bad joke. Haha self effacement is funny when immediately followed up by pointing out thats what your doing. Or not. So, while I'm not sleeping tonight I'd like to get to my point. Manhunt 2 received an AO rating. That stands for Adult Only. I do know a few acronyms. Nintendo being the main system this game got the ban for has stated that it will not carry a title on its system given an AO rating. That I find to be slightly insulting to me the consumer. I thought that, and forgive me for my ignorance, that they were a company out to make money on selling games to people of all ages. I'm an adult. I wanted to play a horror based game. I wanted to play something with original game mechanics and interesting design with some gore slapped on it to make it pretty to my personal fucking tastes. I was going to pay for this pleasure with money I earned at a job I dislike. So, great censorship from a media company. What else is new?