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Journal Entry·an hour ago
TELLTALE "RELATIONSHIP" CLUES THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS PRIORITY
So I have come across more than my fair share of submissive newbies in my time. And a lot of 'lifers'. And as I've picked my subs over the years, a pattern became clear. Newbies were more receptive to nurturing than lifers. But a more insightful conclusion to a bigger problem came to me. One single bad "top/master/dom" (intentional lowercase "i") can damage a LOT of potentially good bottoms in very short time and concurrently. Ruining lives and the reputation of the lifestyle as a whole.
When I first started on this journey it perplexed the SHIT out of me why women would find themselves A) with emotionally/psychologically abusive men B) bestow the title of Dom/Master upon same men and C) stay with him or leave him for the same or worse.
After I determined that it was all due to the age old issues (daddy issues, low self esteem, loneliness, vulnerability, habit, conditioning, delusion, etc.), I made a greater discovery. These women were damaged goods, proud of it, and using their past as a crutch to not invest in their own progress and success but rather to be use their 'broken' status as lure and bait to find another sucker. No sir, it wasn't worth anymore of my time/effort/resources to be Chief Savahoe. I was retiring that role and focusing on getting the newbies on the right path.
And so I would like to present a few eye opening (obvious to those outside the relationship) clues that you, as a self proclaimed submissive, are being used by a self-proclaimed top/master/dom.
Your accomplishments in the real world/vanilla life are more than his. I'm not talking college degrees and job titles. I'm talking real world shit. The act of BEING responsible and BEING present in the struggles of life, not escaping and avoiding them. This means you have demonstrated that you know how to be responsible, disciplined and balance the twists/turns that life throws at you. Meanwhile he has only stories of his past or hypothetical future accomplishments. If you are raising your kids under your roof full time and he has several he barely visits at their mom's, you need to be rethinking what you are getting yourself into. If he has roommates, only a part time job, blows through a lot of weed, and always seems to be falling behind on bills and none of that applies to your life? Yeahhh
He is eager to put D/s titles on you and your relationship Just because you consider yourself a submissive and he considers himself a Dom does NOT mean he is YOUR Dom and you are HIS submissive from an initial interaction and greeting. Submission AND Dominance are earned. And they are not necessarily earned at the same pace or with the same expectations of either party. Set, state, and advocate for your expectations and do not tolerate for even one conversation a man who thrusts his title and ownership on you. I can assure you that while you think it's 'hot' and 'dominant' of him to do so because you want the attention, when he thrusts the other things that you do NOT want, you will be powerless and inexperienced in how to reject those.
Mystery profiles So let me get this straight. On your profile, you have your REAL location, real face, real full body pics, honest and deep journal entries/profile, friends and followers. By contrast HE has invested his time on FL making a groups and kinks list so long that every letter of the alphabet is covered, liking EVERY nude/sex photo in every woman's album, and making sure that you know he is a DOM and wants to do all manner of things sexual to you and your body. Hell even your bi friend if she's down. Meanwhile, his ABOUT me is bare or non-existent, has 0-5 pics (none showing his face and in some cases not showing his full body), lives in Antarctica (or conveniently the most populous generic metro area) and apparently has NO vanilla interests. And you think this man has what it takes to equal your worth AND be above you as you top/dom/master? [Well the good news is he does have the ability to be above you and teach you new things. The bad news is that it means you have to degrade yourself because it will cost you your dignity, sanity, and the lessons taught will be even more expensive than you think in order to get UNDER him.]
Unequal profile linking For better or for worse, social media profile status have a significant impact and weighting on how we 'value' our relationship with those whom we hold in high regard. So, why then do you proudly and eagerly link YOUR profile to his but he always has a million and one excuses for why he won't link his to yours? "It's not that important. I'm hardly online. I'm not ready. You're still being considered. I had a bad experience in the past. Etc" The real unspoken universal answers? "You aren't my special one." And in the poly life, you didn't even make the cut to be ONE of his special ones. DAMN.
Sharing is caring Does he love other women's stuff more than he loves your stuff, but starts to have issue when you like a couple of men's profile stuff a bit too much? Or maybe he loves other women showing off their goods, but isn't feeling it when you show off your goods to adoring fans. Is he down with a poly relationship, so long as he is the only one who is poly, well besides you of course getting down with another women that he gets to have too? Does he encourage you to help him get more women, but won't express the slightest interest in the thought of you being with another guy? Is he making FL friends left and right all with females. Is he hyper defensive towards gay/bi/cd/tv men but TOTALLY obsessive into woman on woman? All of these are NOT signs caring or sharing any interests WITH you. They are signs of sharing only an interest in what YOU have to give him.
Good luck in your journey, newbie sub. And btw, I'd exercise a bit of restraint in eagerly sharing that you are submissive until you clearly define your submission AND what you are looking for in your Top.
Etched in time
I steal from the clock maker
the minutes he owes me
counting down the hours
that should have been ours all along
rather than finding our first
second attempts at finding love
are only the minute grains of sand
that broke free from restraints
to become the beach
where hour footprints
are etched in time.
.
.
.
~Master~
Note | 4 months ago from my Fetlife page
Call me Daddy, when you need that tender loving and a sensual touch. When your heart is hurting and I’m the only one who can ease the pain. When you need your hand held, your tears kissed and need Daddy’s loving arms to protect his little girl. Daddy will always be there.
Call me Sir, when you need that strength and leadership you crave from me. When you want to be dominated and disciplined. When you want to be used as a seductive and sexy submissive should be. When you need to find peace on your knees and a home at my feet, you can always come kneel before your Sir.
Call me Master when you want to give up everything. Hand over all control and power, and know that I’ll use and torture my slave, in amazing and creative ways. When you’d rather wear chains than clothes and you want to be forced to obey every word and command, then your Master will provide that safe place, to let go and find solace and joy in serving the one you love.
Call me whatever you want, as long as you call me yours, I’ll always make you mine.
Journal Entry over 3 years ago
As it is often important and often even necessary for one human being to have certainty and a clear understanding of the intentions, desires, motivations, and needs of another, I offer this testimony in trust and sincerity.
I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel more intelligent or wiser.
I am not dominant because of the strength or the mass of my body.
I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.
Yet, to you I am Master.
I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind, and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor. You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt.
Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts. We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We complement each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.
You are sure, strong, and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your word with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you. What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural, and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.
I recognize it is your body, mind, and soul. I dominate you only because you have allowed me to, and when I see your body kneel before me in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women and all the treasures of the earth.
Within the bounds of our relationship…it is my duty to protect you, and that you will know, that under my care; NO harm will come to you as a result of actions taken by Me..or you. That is my responsibility, to protect you..from yourself if necessary. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.
A Toast. here's to the deep thinkers here's to the analyzers here's to the slow movers and all the thoughtful chess players here's to anticipatingten moves ahead of us and naturally alienating everyone who doesn't think like us. Here's to the fibro girls here's to the emo boys here's to thinking with your brains and not your body toys here's to the cynics here's to the nihilists here's to all the people who wait upon the single's list here'sto the weirdos god bless us, every one. And here's to the idiots who'll need us when their fun is done.
