THEIF LIAR CHEAT UNWATED BY EVERYONE's blog: "Inner Peace"

I AM HAVING PROB WITH CHERRYTAP AS YOU CAN SEE BY PIC.....WHEN MY PAGE LOADS I DON'T GEY ANY PIC UP SO GETTING VERY FUSTRATED AND FUCKIN PISS OFF WITH BLOODY SITE..........

My blonde friend decided to look at her highlights from 2006! January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....Helllloooo!!!................bottles won't fit in printer !!! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 days, instructions said 1 hour per kilo and I weigh 62kg!! December - Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! What a year!!

Deceided to change jobs.....please call for promp service

Friends A friend is someone who is always at your side, A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood, A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of Assholes, A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life, A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs, A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... * no, sorry that's the cleaning lady, A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now quick go rate my page and leave tons of comments. Cuz Cherry Tap said If I dont pass this on Ill never be able to have comments again If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again

A young man called Dennis wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend Tracey . As they hadn't been seeing each other for very long, he decided after careful consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal. He went with his girlfriends sister to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white fur lined gloves, the sister bought a pair of Knickers for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Dennis got the knickers. Without checking Dennis sealed the package and sent it to his new girlfriend with the following letter: Dear Tracey, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones which are easier to remove, These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all, I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that the pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean and shiny, in fact she hasn?t needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish i was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing, just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love Dennis P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

A handsome, middle-aged man walked quietly into the cafe and sat down. Before he ordered, he couldn't help but notice a group of younger men at the table next to him. It was obvious they were making fun of something about him, and it wasn't until he remembered he was wearing a small pink ribbon on the lapel of his suit that he became aware of what the j oke was all about. The man brushed off the reaction as ignorance, but the smirks began to get to him. He looked one of the rude men square in the eye, placed his hand beneath the ribbon and asked, quizzically, This?" With that the men all began to laugh out loud. The man he addressed said, as he fought back laughter, "Hey, sorry man, but we were just commenting on how pretty your pink ribbon looks against your blue jacket!" The middle aged man calmly motioned for the joker to come over to his table and invited him to sit down. The guy obliged, not really sure why. In a soft voice, the middle aged man said, "I wear this ribbon to bring awareness about breast cancer. I wear it in my mother's honour." " Oh, sorry dude. She died of breast cancer?" "No, she didn't. She's alive and well. But her breasts nourished me as an infant and were a soft resting place for my head when I was scared or lonely as a little boy. I'm very grateful for my mother's breasts and her health." "Umm," the stranger replied, "Yeah." "And I wear this ribbon to honour my wife", the middle aged man went on. "And she's okay, too?" the other guy asked. "Oh, yes. She's fine. Her breasts have been a great source of loving pleasure for both of us and with them she nurtured and nourished our beautiful daughter 23 years ago. I am grateful for my wife's breasts, and for her health." "Uh huh. A nd I guess you wear it to honour your daughter, also?" image003333.jpg "It's too late to honour my daughter by wearing it now. My daughter died of breast cancer one month ago. She thought she was too young to have breast cancer, so when she accidentally noticed a small lump, she ignored it. She thought that since it wasn't painful, it must not be anything to worry about." Shaken and ashamed, the now sober stranger said, "Oh, man, I'm so sorry mister." "So, in my daughter's memory, too, I proudly wear this little ribbon, which allows me the opportunity to enlighten others. Now, go home and talk to your wife and your daughters, your mother and your friends. And here," the middle-aged man reached in his pocket and handed the other man a little pink ribbon. ;The guy looked at it, slowly raised his head and asked, "Can ya help me put it on?" This is breast cancer awareness month. Do regular breast self-exams and encourage those women you love to do the same. Please send this on to anyone you would like to remind of the importance of breast cancer awareness.

> >YOU Have the right - the right to leave! > >After Sydney not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Xmas lights; > >after hearing that the State of South Australia changed its opinion and let >a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's license with her face >covered; > >an Australian citizen was prompted to write the following editorial. It was >published in an Australian newspaper. > >Quote: > >IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired >of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or >their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a >surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. > >However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically >correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism >was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge >against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia. > >However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our >country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. > >This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only to >dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we have >our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. > >This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and >victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. > >We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, >or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to make your home in >Australia, learn the language! > >"In God We Trust" is our National Motto. This is not some Christian, right >wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and >women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly >documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our >schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the >world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. > >If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like " A Fair Go", then you >should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. > >We are happy with our culture, have no desire to change and we really don't >care how you did things where you came from. > >This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you >every opportunity to enjoy all this. > >But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our >Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take >advantage of one other great Australian freedom, > >"THE RIGHT TO LEAVE". > >If you aren't happy here then LEAVE! We didn't force you to come here. >You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted. Pretty easy >really, when you think about it. > >I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends (and enemies) it will >also, sooner or later get back to the complainers, lets all try, please. >

WHY AM I MARRIED? You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." " A Woman's Prayer:" Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death " AND NOW FOR THE FAVOURITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding on the bus instead of walking ... so shut the f^$# up."

Yep...this works for me! >>>Subject: Inner Peace >>> >>> >>> >>>I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and >>>we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple >>>advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. >>> >>>Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all >>>the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see >>>things I started and hadn't finished. and before leaving the house >>>this morning I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White >>>Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of >>>Oreos, the remainder of a Valium prescription, the rest of the >>>cheesecake, some Arnott Shapes and a box of chocolates. You have no >>>idea how freaking good I feel. >>> >>>Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> -- Luv L X