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About me?? hmmm not good at this but will try. I am mother of 2 boys Daniel 10 and Ryder 5. Both whom I love more than anything in the world and have spoiled way way to much. I decided at 40 that it is finally time to make some changes (hard to believe that it has taken me so long to grow up and get priorities straight) in my life so I started going back to school to do one of the things that I love doing and that is cosmetology. I am not a girly girl but not a tomboy either. I'm quiet but not stuck up sometimes it just takes me a little bit to open up to someone. I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve at times and others tend to keep it locked away in safe place. I am very klutzy, can trip over flat surfaces. I can be a airhead sometimes have several blond moments sometimes can have very deep thoughts which not everyone agrees with but that's ok can't have the same views as everyone else or life would be boring. In my free time I love listening to music, mostly rock but it can range from alt, metal, punk, pop, country, hip hop rap r & b classic-which wasn't classic when I heard them the first time lol - watching movies, horror, suspense, action and comedies, and playing on the computer which is something else I almost went to school for and who knows maybe I still will some day. I am very impulsive which I am trying to change but am also bad at being a procrastinator also trying to change!! Other bad habits that I am trying to change drink to much soda and smoke to much..I don't do drugs tried them decided not for me, wasn't a path that I wanted. I do love to drink, but not an alcoholic love to have fun darts pool dancing playing cards swimming spending time outdoors etc. I like to try new things....oh yeah I have 9 tattoo's always wanting more. I can be very anal about some things especially when it comes to housework...I just like things done a certain way..I have learned to not live in the past and beat myself up over what I can not change only try and learn from them which can be hard at times it is so easy to say the choices I have made were because of the stuff that happened but I they were choices I made even if they weren't the correct ones, just need to learn to over come them. I found now it is better to live in the present day by day, other wise I stress over the future and what may or may not happen...it doesn't mean that I don't have goals of where I would like to be I'm just concentrating on the now to get to where I wanna be in the future. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and the greatest surprises in life will find you when you least expect it! I try not to be judgmental always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt ( if that makes sense) try to look past the outside and see the person from the inside. I have met quite a few people that I call friends but only a select few that I consider great friends-the ones that I can talk to about almost anything the ones that I keep the closest to me. I'm quiet and shy.I am also very open you can ask me anything. I am who I am love me or hate me this is me and I'm not changing for anyone;)

PART 2---...there's always something or someone that will make you cry and laugh, something or someone that will hurt you, that will be there to pick up the piece's. Someone that will love you unconditionally no matter what, believe in you when you can't believe in yourself...

It's been a while time to do some writing. We've all been hurt by someone or something in our past and put up walls promising ourselves not to feel pain or hurt again. We've all felt joy and happiness never wanting it to end. We can chose to let pain, hurt, stress consume our lives or we can chose to take each moment each day at a time. Try to learn from the pain or the mistakes and try not to let stress overtake us...

I have spent the first half of my life letting pain and hurt guide me. Now I have made the effort to change, no longer will I be guided by stress, pain, depression, or the hurtfulness or negativity of others. I may not be able to forget the things they have done, but I have learned to forgive them. People may not like the choices I make or the belief's that I have now, but we only get one this one life to be happy, to be positive, and to make a difference or leave a mark on a person's heart that will last an eternity.

I spent the first 20 years of my life believing in God and praying. Asking why would he let people do hurtful things to others, why would he take someone away so soon. Never getting the answers I was looking for. I spent years not believing in God and I still don't not the way most others do. I am not ashamed of my beliefs.

I truly love this life and not afraid of what will happen next. I don't believe that when our bodies die we go to a "promised land", I believe that we move on to the next step. When our time in our bodies have ended, people should celebrate and be happy remembering all the good times the joy the laughter the way a person has touched our lives. Celebrating that one has moved on to the next step of the journey. Just because we can't touch them or hold them or see them physically, doesn't mean we can't still talk to them or we love them any less, in one way or another they are always around us.

I may break the rules, I may make choices that most people would be shocked by, but I have learned from the choices of my past not living in the present full of regrets. I have learned to forgive quickly, and love truly with all I can, I have learned to cherish the wonders of nature, the laugh of a child, the kindness of a friend or a stranger...it is the beliefs that I have now that are making these changes possible. I have never been happier.