hell hath no fury's blog: "Hmm......."

So Jason is being moved from the hospital to the rehab center today. He still has no functional use of his right side. THe docs are still trying to figure out WHY he had a stroke at 32, but so far no luck there. If all goes well, he might be able to come home in three weeks.

In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)? On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

In dark ages Europe, an early form of a Halloween custom called "souling" used to take place, an early precursor to today's ‘trick or treat'. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes" made out of square pieces of bread topped with currants. In return, they would say prayers on behalf of the dead relatives of the givers. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in Purgatory after death and that prayer could hasten their passage to Heaven. The soul cakes would be shared with the beggar's family, and prayers would be said for the deceased. Failure to give these "treats" usually resulted in a "trick" being played on the homeowner.....and thus we have "trick or treat!" Now, this is an adapted recipe. No one wrote down "one cup of sugar" it was "a handful" or "a pinch." Also, the yeast was taken from brewing ale, not the package we now buy in the store....but this is pretty close! Enjoy!! 6 cups sifted all purpose flour 1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup sugar 1 envelope active dry yeast 1/4 cup lukewarm water 1 teaspoon sugar 2 cups of milk 2 teaspoons salt 4 teaspoons cinnamon 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg 1 slightly beaten egg PREPARATION: Cream shortening and sugar. Dissolve yeast in 1/2 cup lukewarm water and add sugar. Put aside. Scald milk and add to the creamed mixture. When cool, add yeast mixture and stir until thoroughly blended. Sift together flour, salt, and spice, and add slowly to other ingredients, kneading into a soft dough. Set sponge to rise in warm place in greased covered bowl. When doubled in bulk, shape into small round or oval buns. Brush tops with slightly beaten egg white. Bake in moderately hot oven 400° F. for 15 minutes. Drop temperature to 350° F. and bake until delicately browned and thoroughly done. 18-24 cakes, according to size.

Baptism: Guilt at the First Splash Borrow Money Only From Pessimists they don`t expect it back God Is Not A Name .it`s A Job Description Help End Poverty. Eat The Poor. He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest If At First You Don`t Succeed, Skydiving Isn`t for you. If You Try To Fail & Succeed, Which Have You? Other Than That, Mrs Lincoln, how was the show ? Save the Whales... Collect a whole set. The Problem With The Gene Pool is there is no lifeguard, Why Do Psychics Have to Ask You For Your Name? 6x6x6 Lumber of the Beast 667: The Neighbor of the Beast A Day Without Sunshine is, Like, Night Always Remember You`re Unique Just Like Everyone else Change is Inevitable. Struggle is an Option. Don`t Steal The Government Hates Competition Dyslexic Devil Worshippers Sell Their Souls To Santa I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? I`ve Run Out Of Sick Days,So I`m Calling in Dead

You know what? I support our troops. Why is this going to piss some people off? Read on. I have noticed this strange trend, not only on LC, but on other sites as well. Soldiers, returning from Iraq, Afghanistan....wherever. Mostly young. And BITTER. They say that no one stateside supports them. They claim that no one cares that they're dying over there. They seem to have this chip the size of Texas on their shoulders, and I don't get it. Daily, on this board, I see some form of a "support the troops" bulletin. Personally, I've been pen pals with over a dozen men in Anaconda. Some of my best friends have served. Some of them died. I don't support the war, but I do support the men fighting it. Let me tell all these bitter soldiers something. There is no draft. No one forced you to join whatever branch you decided to serve in. When you signed that piece of paper, you did so fully intending to serve your country. You knew that you might go to war. You knew that you might die, or men you served with might die instead. Do you want to know what it is to be unappreciated? Go talk to a veteran of Vietnam. Were you spit on when you got back from your tour? Did anyone call you a babykiller? No? Huh. Still feel unappreciated? Go talk to my grandfather, I'll give you his phone number. I will support our troops, whereever they are deployed. And there are thousands of Americans here stateside that do the same. So don't lay a guilt trip on me because I chose NOT to. I have no idea what its like in the desert, I'm sure its not a bowl of roses. But it was YOUR choice. Otherwise.......man, you should have joined the Coast Guard.

SAMHAIN October 31 (fixed) Welcome to Wicca 101 Pronounced "sow-in," Samhain is the time during which life and death walk hand in hand. On this day, the veil that separates the worlds (our plane of living and the plane of the dead) is at its thinnest. Many things are possible on this holiday. The God has arrived at the edge of live and is conceived as a seed that will be reborn soon. The Goddess in the form of the Crone rules, teaching us lessons and allowing our ancestors to guide us. Samhain is one of the most maligned and least understood holidays. Contrary to the modern media images of Satanic worship and animal sacrifice, Wiccans believe that this is a time to remember and honor those who have gone before us. Many of our current day Halloween activities are taken from this holiday. The jack-o-lanterns that we carve and place outside are evolutions of the ancient practice of leaving candles in windows to guide the dead to the underworld. Handing out candy to children was gleamed from the practice of leaving food out to nourish ancestors as they traveled the path to the underworld. Since the veil is indeed thin, this is the ideal holiday to contact ancestors and initiate communication. Because it is the Wiccan "new year" it is also a time to cut away practices and behaviors that inhibit our growth, and the Crone is present to assist in removing that which is unhealthy from our lives. It is also a time to plan for the future through divination practices. Appropriate rituals include contacting ancestors within sacred circle, honoring the lives of those who have gone before us, releasing destructive habits, divination activities, and all transformation rituals.

While watching a special on Halloween last night, there was an interview with a "Christian" minister who was ranting about this holiday and the "evil pagan influx into this country." Over the course of the next few minutes, he proceeded to blame paganism for every ill and moral sin currently rampant in this country, and called for Christians everywhere to spend this Devil's Night educating themselves and others on this horrid, devil worshipping cult of pagans who are ruining the youth of this country. I stared in absolute shock at the television for about ninety seconds, actually appalled that someone in the year 2006 would actually believe and preach this utter nonsense! Has nothing changed since the 1600's? Are witches still women riding on brooms and blighting crops? I don't expect acceptance, but I did expect tolerance and knowledge. Heres a few of my favorite quotes before I head off into the land of education: "We are not evil. We don't harm or seduce people. We are not dangerous. We are ordinary people like you. We have families, jobs, hopes, and dreams. We are not a cult. This religion is not a joke. We are not what you think we are from looking at T.V. We are real. We laugh, we cry. We are serious. We have a sense of humor. You don't have to be afraid of us. We don't want to convert you. And please don't try to convert us. Just give us the same right we give you--to live in peace. We are much more similar to you than you think." Margot Adler "If you take [a copy of] the Christian Bible and put it out in the wind and the rain, soon the paper on which the words are printed will disintegrate and the words will be gone. Our bible IS the wind and the rain." Herbalist Carol McGrath "When one defines oneself as Pagan, it means she or he follows an earth or nature religion, one that sees the divine manifest in all creation. The cycles of nature are our holy days, the earth is our temple, its plants and creatures our partners and teachers. We worship a deity that is both male and female, a mother Goddess and father God, who together created all that is, was, or will be. We respect life, cherish the free will of sentient beings, and accept the sacredness of all creation." Edain McCoy So..some basic FAQ's? Wicca, sometimes called "The Craft" or "The Craft of the Wise" is one of many earth-based religions. The religion which is closest to Wicca in America is probably Native American spirituality. Traditional Wicca was founded by Gerald Gardner (Gardenian Wicca), a British civil servant, who wrote a series of books on the religion in the 1940's. It contains references to Celtic deities, symbols, seasonal days of celebration, etc. Added to this were components of ceremonial magic and practices of the Masonic Order. A more recent form is eclectic Wicca which involves a combination of Wiccan beliefs and practices, combined with other Pagan and non-Pagan elements. The various traditions of Wicca are part of the Pagan or Neopagan group of earth-based religions. Wicca and Satanism are not at all similar religions. However, the Christian church did link them in the past -- particularly during the Witch burning times of the late Middle Ages and Renaissance (by the way...not one "witch" was ever burned at the stake!). They regarded Witches as Satan worshipers. Some Christian denominations have not been particularly thorough in correcting mistakes of the past. So, Wicca and Satanism continue to be linked in many people's minds. This problem is rapidly fading as more Wiccans come out of the closet and become public with their faith. Wiccans do not recognize an all-evil deity or quasi-deity like Satan. Christianity and Islam are the main religions that teach of Satan's existence, either as an evil principle or as an all-evil fallen angel with supernatural powers. Common to almost all Wiccans is the recognition of the existence of the Goddess, and her consort the horned God. These may be viewed as real living personal entities, or as symbols. Wiccans follow the Wiccan Rede "An it harm none, do what thou will." This means that as long as it harms no one, including yourself, one is free to do what they wish. A Wiccan carefully reviews the implications of each action or non-action in her/his life. Domination, manipulation and control are particularly prohibited by the Rede. Wiccans typically go through a dedication ritual at the start of their training, where they declare their intent to study Wicca. If they choose, they experience an initiation ritual when they complete their initial study of the religion -- often a period of a year and a day. Wiccans engage in rituals, either alone or within a coven of other Wiccans. They are committed to personal spiritual growth. How does Wicca differ from Christianity? In many ways, the two are similar. For example, the have similar ethics of reciprocity. The Wiccan Rede and Christianity's Golden Rule both emphasize kindness to and consideration of others. But there are many differences: On sexual and gender matters: Wicca has generally accepted the equality of men and women. Christianity has historically reserved positions of power in the church, the rest of society and the family for males. Wicca regards responsible sexual behavior as a gift of the Goddess. Some committed Wiccan couples engage in private sexual rituals. Christianity has tended to have a negative and restrictive view of sexual behavior. Wicca generally accepts all sexual orientations as normal and natural: heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual. Wicca is largely an oral tradition, and has no holy text that corresponds to the Christian Bible. Wiccans stress the cycles of life and look upon time largely as cyclical. Christians mainly view time as linear. Most Wiccans reject the concept of Heaven and Hell, and embrace reincarnation. The concept that a person must believe certain things or behave in a certain way to achieve salvation and avoid being tortured in Hell for all eternity is foreign to Wicca. Wiccans feel close to nature and are highly concerned about its preservation. Wiccans do not proselytize. In particular, they do not usually dedicate, teach, or initiate potential converts unless they are 18 years or older. Where possible, and where it is safe to do so, Wiccans prefer to perform their rituals out-of-doors. Hey.........if you have questions......ask?

At night when I crawl into bed, I feel your skin against my skin. As I pull the covers to my head, Your warmth consumes me deep within. Then you softly kiss my lips, With your hands on my face. Teasingly touching with your fingertips, Until my heart begins to race. Butterfly kisses linger here and there, While your hands caress my curves. Sweet touches felt everywhere, As the ecstasy reaches my nerves. And my eyes connect with your eyes, When I feel you in my depths. Our loves passion is on the rise, And inside our souls is kept. I feel the moving of my world, As our passion finds its peak. I feel my body suddenly tense, And then suddenly feel so weak. Lying peacefully enveloped in you, I know my fantasy is real. Such warmth exchanged between two, Not a single chill do we feel. There isn't need to find the covers, For we fit together like hand and glove Beautiful is the sleep of lovers, Blanketed by the warmth of love

Last night before went to bed Thoughts of you filled my head I have not cried this way in many of years Onto my pillow fell six silent tears The first was for your smile that I miss And your tender lips I long to kiss The second was for your gentle face And thoughts of your loving embrace The third came as no suprise As I thought of your beautiful eyes The fourth came rolling down my face Instead of my pillow, it should be you in it's place. The fifth came for one reason alone I felt my love for you wasn't fully shown I really love and miss you my dear And there just fell...the sixth silent tear

When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house--move away immediately! Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. Do not take anything from the dead. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.