Well I am coming up to another birthday this week. The strange part is that I am so deeply depressed with all the things that seem to be going wrong with in my life. I was offered a job with a Mortgage Company and as of last week they wrote me to tell me that they are going to discontinue my base pay…What kind of email is that? I ask myself as I whip away the tears from my eyes.
The contract that I agreed on was to have salary, commissions and Medical. Did they come threw? NO…I gave up a job that gave me all of that and then next thing I know the so called company that promised me this and that. Decided after a month and two weeks that they don’t want to pay…OMG…what’s next?
The love of my life and I are fighting over MONEY…We have a Mortgage and regular bills. Nothing more, but we can’t live off of just his pay alone. So, I sit here on a Thursday morning at 3:38 AM sending out resumes and crying….Why? Because I feel like I can’t seem to get out of this deep dark whole that I am in.
Now mother, please DO NOT write… “Well Jesus…” I don’t want to hear anything about GOD or JESUS. I am sick and tired of every time I write a blog that GOD or Jesus has to be brought into my blog. I just ones want to have someone tell me that they are here for me and quite this “I am Holy thing” Can’t a daughter just have her mother comfort her with out bring up Jesus…I am getting to the point that I want to shut down.
I run a Large Vampire house…The largest on the West Coast and I am an Elder of the Vampire Nation…I enjoy what I do with in my community and I don’t want to hear judgment.
OK, now as I continue to cry and want to just throw up my hands in the air. I see nothing but hurt and hate with in the world I live in. The Government is killing our people and the things that I have grown to love are disappearing. It seems that everyone around me is having hard times and I can’t even help them all out. I try everything I can to support all of the lost souls that the “Church” has done so well to destroy and pass judgment on.
You know if the “Church” or people who say they are “Christian’s” would just get their heads out of the sand. They will learn that preaching and judging is NOT going to save a soul. Loving and supporting and showing everyone that something is different with in your soul is what is going to save the sinner as the “Christians” quaintly say.
Man made the word “Sinner” and Man is the reason why the BIBLE was written and re-written 10 thousand times. The true works of God are what we do to help others and love others for what they are and who ever they believe. I try every day to love others as Christ loves the “Church”. I am a Christain that has decided to accept all and that means even Satanist. Hell, my best friend is a Satanist…Does that make her a bad person. “NO” Why? Because the so call “Church” has NO idea what they are and what they believe. If some of the so called Church community would quite paying another Pastors car payment or House payment and take that money and help a single mother with a child or a old man to get food, then we will see others turn towards the higher power some call “God”…but guess what. “God” too many comes in all different types and that to me is fine. All I have to worry about is ME. Do you know that I have touched more people’s lives, because I don’t act that I am the best living Christain alive. I love to go to a bar or into a Vampire Community and show others that I am different and how much I love God…Is he the right GOD…I don’t know, but I know he is right for me…Doesn’t mean I am going to sit here and say…OMG…if you hang out with so and so, or if you do that or your affiliated with that. YOUR not godly…Please…who gave you the rights and the crown to tell me what is right and wrong in my life. Get a grip…
IF you want to pray for me, then do it. DON’T sit and tell me about this scripture and that one. I know the word of GOD…I went to Bible Collage, but that is not my way. DO you know just how many times the BIBLE was re-written? Do you understand that they are just stories so that we can get threw life.
I say this, if your not here to show your support or love, then please do me a favor, get OUT of my life. I want friends and family around me that will accept everything good or bad about me.
Tell the next Rant…or next stupid Birthday.
Darkest Blessing
God Bless
Blessed be
All hale King Arthur
Hail Satan
What ever…
Countess Nessa
Elder and Founder of the House of Ma’at
