BillSeigor's blog: "BlogStuff"

F**k Buddies Current mood: hopeful So pay attention and take down notes - this class can change your (sex) life! If you take all my advice to heart, you'll definitely be on your way to a life filled with great recreational sex! Now, to our first topic: First Lesson : F**k Buddy 101 Ever notice that in some books, movies, and TV shows, there are men and women who have great casual sex with the same partner without the hassle that comes with committed relationships? Whether you call them casual relationships, "friends with benefits", or f**k buddies, they're all in it for the same agenda. What exactly are f**k buddies, and how do you get them? -------------------------------------------------- What a F**k Buddy is - and isnt -------------------------------------------------- A f**k buddy is someone that you're having sexual relations with, but without a committed relationship. There's a reason why f**k buddies are also called "friends with benefits" - it's a relationship that is more like a friendship with casual sex rather than a loving, romantic relationship. Being f**k buddies may mean different things, so it helps to verbally communicate to your f**k buddy what it is that both of you want out of your special friendship. You could be sexually exclusive to each other, or you may agree to see each other only for a set number of weeks. Whatever your case, you both have to agree on a set of ground rules. Keep in mind that having a f**k buddy is not the same as having a formal boyfriend or girlfriend - emotional attachments and demands are considered taboo in a casual relationship. This means that there is no commitment, no romantic love, and no expectation of marriage proposals. A one-night stand is also not considered as a casual sex relationship, unless both parties agree to be f**k buddies after the one-night stand. -------------------------------------------------- Why Do You Need a F**k Buddy? -------------------------------------------------- People get into casual relationships for a variety of reasons. Among these reasons are the following: * They want to have as much sexual experience as possible, as if they were "practicing" to become great lovers * They want to have sex but feel as if they're not ready for a formal, committed relationship * They're biding their time while waiting for "the real thing" (a real romantic relationship) to come along * They simply want something to help them get through a boring or lonely night. Of course, there are more reasons why people engage in casual relationships, and one reason is not more important than another. The important thing to remember is that having a f**k buddy should be a casual, pleasurable experience. -------------------------------------------------- What Should Be Your Agenda? Setting Ground Rules for F**k Buddies -------------------------------------------------- Both you and your f**k buddy should agree to some ground rules when it comes to keeping your relationship fun and casual. You both have to be signed on for the same agenda if you want the experience to be a good one. Many f**k buddy relationships are ruined when both partners realize that both of them have differing opinions and expectations from the relationship. Avoid this scenario by sticking to a set of rules that you both agree on. Here are some things that you should consider when thinking of ground rules: * The sexual part of the relationship should be both casual and enjoyable. If you want to ensure the success of your casual relationship, the sex should be as great as it can be. The entire point of getting a f**k buddy is to find physical pleasure in another person, and if you can't do that you're just wasting each other's time. * Emotional attachments? Love? Valentine's day gifts? Those all belong in formal, committed relationships. Trust me when I say that nothing ruins recreational, casual sex like falling in love with your f**k buddy. Of course, it may be a different story if both of you develop the same feelings for each other, but that is rarely the case. When you sign on for a f**k buddy relationship, you should know to stay away from romance if you don't want anyone to get hurt. * Make sure that the lines of communication are open between you and your f**k buddy. You have to be honest with each other about any concerns, rules, and problems that come up. The two of you should be aware of the exclusivity and the intensity limits of the recreational sex you're having. The two of you should also have an agreement on the span of time in which you'll be seeing each other (it doesn't have to be exact). Make sure that this period of time doesn't go over a year, or else you run the risk of turning it into a long-term romantic relationship. -------------------------------------------------- Where To Find F**k Buddies -------------------------------------------------- The most popular way of finding a f**k buddy is by doing it online. It is easier and much more convenient than finding people in "real world scenarios", because online profiles allow you to find people that will be signed on with the same agenda as yours - commitment-free sex. When it works If it's what you both want, then there's no-strings sex, without the need for the nerve-wracking chatting up that usually leads up to a one-night stand. If you want to get laid regularly, but don't want to commit to a heavy relationship then it has a certain appeal. It's a very personal decision about whether or not it's right for you. It can be a real thrill to have a passionate fling with someone you wouldn't normally hang out with in everyday life for long periods of time. Sometimes a couple have incredible sexual chemistry, but beyond that they have little in common. The added sense of 'naughtiness' allows some people to cut loose and play out their fantasies. Both partners have to be very clear about what they want from having a 'fuck buddy', and need to talk about their expectations so that there are no misunderstandings. When the passion burns out, if you were good friends already, you may find you can go back to being just mates and closer ones at that, however sometimes one of you will be too weirded out and you'll lose them completely as a result. When it doesn't work If it's two people who like and respect one another, then it can work very well. However, often one person is in love with the other one and hides their true feelings, or falls in love during the relationship. If either of you are going to sleep with other people while keeping a fuck buddy then be honest about it, otherwise there is a strong possibility of someone feeling jealous, betrayed, or having their sexual health put at risk. Some people who go on about being a fuck buddy are just a bit selfish, or too immature to commit to a relationship. If the relationship quickly becomes one-sided, or you start to feel used, then it's time to knock it on the head, no matter how good the sex may feel. Test of time It is often impossible to turn this situation into a regular relationship, if that's what you eventually decide that you want, but it does work out sometimes. What usually happens, though, is that the intensity of the sex eventually burns itself out - and you both find that you've got nothing to talk about. But at least nobody will have a broken heart if you stick to the ground rules.