1. Care about my appearance.
-Fashion and style used to be a major part of my life, but it sort of slipped away and I think that's a big chunk of my esteem lost.
2. Work on trust.
-I trust people until I'm given a reason not to, and this usually doesn't work out in my favor because by the time I've realzied I can't trust a person, they've already taken advantage of me or the situation.
3. Give credit where it has been earned.
-Not just with others but myself. I'm surrounded by so much talent and a lot of it isn't recognized as fully as it should. This applies to myself also because I rarely credit my positive attributes, but rather, I focus on my downfalls.
4. Be less of a gossip queen.
-Okay, I know it's sort of cliche, but I just saw Mean Girls for the first time the other day and it truly inspired me. The part near the end when Cady is at the Mathletes competition and she goes to the tie breaker with the girl from the other school and she has the internal monologue about how condescending others doesn't actually make you better, it just makes you mean, overly critical, and often enough, hypocritical.
5. Never settle or stop dreaming.
-Recently, I realized just how much I would sacrifice for one, single person. I have so much happening in my life and so much potential, giving all of that up would be a complete waste to society. I am going to change the world. Watch me.
6. Continue to live without regrets.
-I worry sometimes that in the future I'll regret decisions I've made, but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.
7. Continue to inspire and be inspired.
-I want to set an example for people out there who have ever felt lonely, misguided, lost, love, lust, stable, broken, overwhelmed or bored with the monotony of life. It is not an easy task to achieve changing my life or taking part my growing as a person, but those who have are role models to be reckoned with.
8. Be passionate.
-In the past three weeks I have written four or five songs that are simply raw emotion poured across the pages of my diary. I have a lot to say to the world, but writing is the only media passionate enough for my thoughts. The things I feel could give someone a heart attack or make them fall in love. My range of emotions is so vast. My writing is the only way I feel that I can express myself so fully that anyone could even begin to understand the complexity or my mind.
9. Stand up for myself.
-I let people say what they want about me most of the time and when someone crosses the line, I get too scared to defend myself. Well, it's time I put people in their place and show them where I stand as a person. I am a lot stronger than people give me credit for and they are going to start feeling that strength.
10. Independence.
-This is my big one. For those of you who have only met me in the past six months, you know a completely different Janina than I was almost a year ago. I used to be the greatest optimist and most independent person in the world. I've come to really depend on other people's emotions in order to base my own, and it's generally bringing me down. I care too much. I often feel selfish if I'm happy or enjoying myself, and that makes me feel even worse than I do when I'm depressed. I need to start living for myself and making things happen in my own fashion.
