Why So Serious's blog: "CJ's Rant Of THe Day"

Dear Rush, Normally I don't write letters to anyone let alone radio personalities as I don't have anything to say. However, I've been motivated to waste my time and write one to you as I feel your Martinn Boorman-esque behavior warrants one. Throughout history people have spent years figuring out the mysteries of the world. The great pyramids, Easter Island, Stonehenge, The Lost City of Atlantis, and so forth. The one mystery I can't solve is how anyone can consider you to have an intelligent thought in that empty drug riddled head of yours. I find it interesting that you can somehow place yourself in a holier then thou position when you have had so many issues yourself. Having trouble forgetting your "Obama the magic Negro" song parody? How about the years you were completely addicted to pain killers? Oh wait here's a good one...How about the time you absolutely slammed Michael J Fox saying he was lying about having parkinsons disease? You are a half crazed wombat running around trying to stir shit up in the only way you know how...deceit, insults, and ostracizing. You are a disgrace to everything God ever expected out of humans and personally if you were strung up by your heels and beaten like a mule I would have no problem with it. You are a vicious jackass and a vile suckfish. Richard Nixon has more honesty in his treacherous little body then you will ever have. You are a racist and a homophobe and I believe you are doomed to an eternity in Hell where you will be constantly violated by gay black men. How's that for a savage thought eh fat man? After all that is your worst fear isnt it? The thought of gay people and blacks sends shivers up that fatback spine of yours doesnt it Rush? Well, you savage jackal, I have no doubt that at some point you are going to get yours and I can only hope I am there to witness it. I'm sure when your beady little eyes start reading this you will just ball it up and toss it in the garbage along with your 50-a-day whopper wrappers. However, if by chance you have made it to this line without stroking out or choking on your ham sandwich, allow me to say one more thing. Even though you are a vile greased pig, I have to admit that everytime you open your bullhorn I am proud to be an American. For freedom of speech is what allows you to be who you are and it is what allows me to write you and tell you what a savage hyena you are. I would rather shove a buick up my ass then spend one more minute listening to you. And so much for that. CJW

When I was 16 I learned what true stupidity was. I was in high school and I heard a fellow classmate talk bad about a friend of mine all because said friend was black. I thought to myself “Egads…how dumb do you have to be to hate someone based only on skin color?” So I did the most rational thing I could do…I tapped the guy on the shoulder and when he turned around I punched him in the mouth and ended up with a 7 day suspension. Granted I looked like the asshole but then again I wasn’t the one singing “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” either. Fast forward 13 years and I find myself in a very similar position. I hear this loud mouthpiece talking bad about gays and relating homosexuality to bestiality and my first instinct is to tap this oxygen thief on the shoulder and knock him into next week. This is a man who claims that in the Bible…in the Book of Leviticus…it states that God hates homosexuals. Where do I begin? First off Pastor Rick Warren is right. It does state that Homosexuality is evil in Leviticus. It also states that a father has every right to sell his daughter into slavery, that when you sin you must build an altar and sacrifice a ram to God so that you are cleansed, it also states that pigskin is an unclean evil and it is a sin to touch. Would anyone care to venture a guess as to what Footballs were made out of up until the 80’s? That’s Right! PIGSKIN! Does this mean that anyone who played football up until 1982 is a sinner and evil? According to Leviticus it does. Ah well, at least we can still enjoy some shrimp at Red Lobster without worry. Wait. Whats that? Leviticus states that Shrimp, Crab, and Lobster are unclean and sinful? Bloody Hell is nothing sacred anymore??? I know I could sit here and speak to some of you mouth breathers until I am blue in the face and you still wouldn’t get it and that’s fine. You know why? The Bible describes you as well. Yes that’s right. Look in the stories about Samson and you will see yourself mentioned. Ah there it is…the jawbone…of an Ass! I understand that by writing this article I am going to receive all sorts of nonsensical death threats from those of you who support the teachings that gays are evil and you know what, to quote another famous ass “Bring it on” (George W Bush September 11, 2001). How you can hate someone based on their own preference is so utterly beyond any rational thinking that it fries the brain to even attempt to understand it. What’s that? Oh, I’m doing the exact same thing by hating you for your beliefs? Not the case. I am simply pointing out how stupid you look to the rest of the civilized world. I mean lets face it, we live in a post modern technological age here. Prehistoric thinking is all but extinct. When it does pop up those of us who evolved take the proverbial caveman club and bring it down on those who have yet to get it. Call it…forced evolution if you will. Lastly, for those of you who want to judge and hate someone whose lifestyle has nothing to do with your own I ask you this…Why? Are you that narrow minded and that naïve? I know you could turn it back on me. Why does your lifestyle bother me? Because it does affect me. I have gay friends who have been beaten for the simple fact that they are gay. Has anyone ever gang beaten you because you follow Rick Warren? The answer is no. Though I have to admit it might do you some good. Your hatred affects millions of people because it spreads like a virus. You only focus on ridding the world of an evil that doesn’t exist and it has made you soft and soulless. Maybe one day you will figure it out but until then be careful who you go beating on because if I am around you are going to get an education in tolerance…the same way you give it.

Greetings! Over the weekend I was given a small job offer by a political magazine to write a weekly article and the almighty price of $20 an article. Its not much but it fills the tank ya know what I mean? Anyway here is the first article that will be up and running later today... And so it begins. Another journey down the sick and twisted path of American Politics. One of my favorite writers, Hunter S. Thompson, once said that only a lunatic would look forward to covering politics. And yet here I am. Chris Hayes was kind enough (perhaps assholish enough is a better way of putting it) to ask me to pick up pen and once again leap into the cesspool that surrounds Washington D.C. It wasn’t good enough for Mr. Hayes that I went half crazy covering the Campaign (Sarah Palin is still the most sinister woman I’ve come within 30 feet of) no, now he wants me to go full bore berzerker and take that flying leap of faith off a 500 foot cliff. Well, Mr Hayes, your wish is my command. Just please do me this one favor and leave me wherever my body lands. With any luck it will land on a tourists boat ho ho how about that mess huh folks. At any rate let’s stop talking about jumping and actually do it…buy the ticket take the ride… This of course brings us to the complete laugh of a party that the Republicans have become. If John McCain ever has any doubts about why he was completely run over on election day all he need do is check his senate floor speech from Friday speaking out against President Obama’s stimulus plan. If this guy doesn’t stop getting so worked up at his age he is going to tax cut himself right into an early grave. That my friends is where the real enemy lies. Not John McCain, but tax cuts. Creating a stimulus bill out of tax cuts is like setting your house on fire and then using gasoline to try and douse the flames. Infrastructure is where its at my friends and thankfully we now have a president who understands this. You see, building bridges, rebuilding roads, revamping commuter train systems, that is where the action is at and that is what creates jobs. Running up to someone who has just lost their job and their house and saying “ Here you go sir it’s a tax cut sorry about your luck” is ignorant at best downright moronic at worst. Speaking of Moronic the Republican party just named it’s first ever African American chairman. Hmm. Oh I get it…ok so if Kryptonite can kill Superman then a black republican chairman can destroy Barack Obama right? Before you run yelling racist let me explain who the two finalists for this “job” were. First you had this African American gentleman…nothing wrong so far right? Then the other FINALIST was a white senator from the South who only a month earlier left a WHITES ONLY country club. Is the picture starting to come into focus a little bit? 250 possible choices and one of the finalists is a 25 year member of a whites only country club. This was not a progressive choice people. This pick of Michael Steele was 50% motivated by politics and 50% motivated by fear. You cant tell me the Republican Party is willingly trying to be inclusive when an African American BARELY beats out a southern white guy who belonged to a whites only club for 25 years. No this was fear plain and simple. They have no answer for Barack Obama nor do they have an answer for his message of change. What they have is the same stale shit that landed this country where it is today. Knee deep in a recession and 2 wars. Throwing a black man at the public under the guise of change isn’t how you get things done. Barack Obama is change he believes in change and the American public backed that up on election day. Michael Steele…I wish you the best of luck I really do. I hope that your nomination was based solely on your qualifications and that you represent change in the Republican party. Unfortunately I think you were nominated as a force field. An unknowing defense mechanism against Barack Obama. Sir, I wish you the best of luck again, but somehow I don’t think it will be enough.

Fellow Americans...let me thank you. You have restored my faith in people. This past week was a week that will go down as one of our greatest moments in history. Whether you voted for him or not you cant deny that Barack Obama's election for president is a giant step for mankind. Absolutely amazing! With that being said let me move on to this...In past blogs I have shredded Sarah Palin like a roided up Polar Bear would an eskimo. So believe me that this surprises me a hell of a lot more then it surprises you. In the few days following the election the McCain Campaign has laid the club to Sarah Palins head. They have called her Stupid and a Diva. They blame her for the election loss going so far as to say that she did not know Africa was a continent. Sarah...I am on your side in this battle. The McCain camp is a bunch of dour assholes who were so disorganized and half assed that it really is no surprise that they would find someone to throw under the bus here. I highly doubt Sarah Palin is as dumb as they claim. And even if she is then you cant blame her. No that blame goes on the shoulders of one John McCain. Its utterly ridiculous to try to pin this on Sarah Palin. You bozos were the ones that picked her if you dont like her thats not her fault its yours. Fucking Deal With It!

God seems to mean different things to different people. For instance, to some God is a Colonel Sanders look-a-like who sits up in the clouds and watches our every move. To others God is the last bit of light in a world of darkness. To me personally I dont think God can be measured in a form. I dont even know where I would begin if I had to describe God because I simply dont know. I do know that up until a year ago God was an enemy of mine. I blamed God for a lot of things that happened in the past and as far as I was concerned we were pretty much at war. Which brings me full circle. To answer the question I think God is what we need most. For the majority of my life God has been something I could take my anger out on and God could take that because He/She/It could handle that. I think for a lot of people God is the last desperate hope. Especially in these trying times. I think God is not necessarily the God we deserve but the God we need. The God we deserve may very well be the Vengeful God from the Old Testament but its not the God we need. I think God can take our anger and our cries of despair. I think God can lay witness to this troubled world and be the thing we need because thats what He/She/It does. God is the thing we need the most.

Greetings, I have received a few questions concerning my recent political blogs and I figured I would just post them here and be done with it. 1. Are you a Journalist? Not in the traditional sense. I do not have a major in Journalism nor do I do this as a career. It is a hobby and as a freelance writer if the story is good enough sometimes people will bite. 2. Who have you written for? A few online and print publications including Altsounds.com (under pen name Puritania) Metro Detroit Weekly, Metro Times, and the Grosse Pointe News. Currently seeking a freelance assignment with a major magazine however as I am superstitious I will wait til the deal is sealed before announcing it. 3. You have made mention of being a minister is that true? Yes it is. I was ordained by the Life Church as well as the Church of New Horizons. However, due to some conflicts within these mega churches I have ceased preaching though I still hear confessions and perform various ceremonies. 4. Why do you write about Politics? I am a political junkie. I believe Politics is the biggest natural high you can get on a real newsworthy day. Take for instance this whole stock market crash the past week. Who DIDNT get short of breath and go into an adrenaline fueled barely contained panic as we watched over a trillion dollars disappear in 8 days. Why do you hate John McCain so much? I dont hate John McCain. In 2000 when John MCCain was running I was a huge supporter. He had brilliant ideas and he knew how to motivate people. This year John McCain has become erratic and has made rather poor decisions in his campaign. I was severely disappointed when his campaign took the "Obama is a terrorist" route. Yesterday in Minnesota I think he finally understood what his campaign had done and when a woman in the audience accused Obama of being an Arab McCain defended Barack only to be booed by his supporters. Trying to spread fear and hatred when you yourself say you put "Country First" is a complete abomination. As a former Prisoner of War he knows better then that.

On November 4th, one of the strangest and worst eras in our country's history will come to a close. I think it is safe to say that George W Bush has effectively destroyed any chance a future Bush has of getting into the white house. That has to be particularly frustrating to Governor Jeb Bush who has hinted at wanting to run for the presidency. However with W's approval rating at 25% (lowest in US history) I think it will be a long long time before anyone in this country could even stomach the thought of another Bush running for president. Truth be told had George Bush Sr's role in the Iran Contra affair not been downplayed chances are W wouldnt have even gotten the nomination. However he did and thus the strangest story in American Politics was written. Why is it that W has been such a bumpkin as a president? There are I think a few answers to that. The first is the handling of the post 9-11 affairs. W handled himself really well after the whole 9-11 attack took place. A scared nation looked to George Bush to calm its fears and for retribution and we were given just that. Bush waged war on Iraq and within a few weeks American troops had effectively dismantled Saddam Hussein's regime. After a few months Saddam's two sons were killed and the madman himself was caught by U.S. Forces. Then things started to fall apart. The American public learned that it's leaders, the ones they looked up to when uncertainty ruled the land, had lied to them and started a war under false pretenses. Even so, there was a feeling that what we were doing was right and just. After all Saddam had to go. He was a vile evil man and his death made the world a better place. Then we learned that the government had given Iraq 80 Billion dollars which the new Iraqi Government was just sitting on while the US spent 10 billion a month in Iraq. This led to the real downfall...the economy. In 2007 the stock market reached an all time high coming in at over 14,000.56. Exactly 1 year later the stock market rests at just over 8,000. Trillions of dollars have been lost in the last year, many people have lost their jobs and their homes, and there is a general sense of panic among the public that we are headed for another depression. George Bush has mishandled every crisis that has come his way and it was no surprise that he mishandled this one. Next January the Bush circus will fold up its tents and roll out of Washington where for $200,000 you can hire the circus and its disgraced ringmaster to speak for a few hours at a company gathering or a fundraiser or charity event. However in Washington the show must go on and a new circus will roll into town. Be it John McCain or Barack Obama. All I know is that I feel bad for whoever gets elected because he will have 4 years to clean up an 8 year mess. God help the next president of the United States because he is going to need it. In God, Rev. Williamson

As we enter the most savage stages of this Carnival we call an election, there was a topic brought up today that no doubt has some bearing on the results. That being the age old debate on abortion. AS an ordained minister some argue that I have a duty to side with the pro lifers. However, I live in the United States of America, a country that believes in freedom. Freedom as defined by the dictionary is this: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action. Given that definition I can only say that a woman has the right to choose what is best for her. That is my "unofficial" stance. My official stance is that I am Pro...Football. Thats right I believe there should be a football game every day of the week. There is something completely Marxist about not having a football game 7 days a week. Moving on, one small tid bit i want to add on is this. For those of you that take the bible literally let me say this...Anytime you base an argument on a literal translation of the bible you are opening yourself up to a severe counter debate. Yes there is a prevalent message that life is sacred (Look what happened to poor Onan) however also remember that at that same time period people were selling their daughters as slaves, sacrificing livestock as offerings to God, and in one case even offering up their child as a sacrifice to God. If you are going to use a literal translation argument then be consistent.

It's been a short ride but also a fast and furious one. However, now it is over. My breaking point was the Sarah Palin rally today which I was dragged to while in the midst of fatigue hysteria. My friend did indeed have connections with the McCain party and after hearing this new found strategy I am done freelancing. It is my opinion that the Vietnemese should have just kept John McCain. Their new strategy is to take a US Senator and try to convince the American Public that not only does he pal around with terrorists (Completely bogus) but that he is a supporter of terrorist activities. Sarah Palin and John McCain are the new Adolph Hitler and Adolph Eichmann. This is simply to much for me to even think about at the present moment. I am going to hit the nearest bar and spend the next 8-10 hours drinking and praying to whatever God looks down on us that the American public is smart enough to put these two cretins where they belong. God help you fucking swine!!!!

Ho Ho friends it is 10:30 at night here in the quiet state of Michigan and yet my ears are ringing loud and clear. My plans for the week have already been disrupted by some seriously savage news. I am going to pack in a few minutes for a red eye flight out of Metro Airport to Fort Meyers Florida where I will witness (and hopefully land an inside look at) a John McCain rally. After Sarah Palins remark trying to link Obama to William Ayers and calling him a terrorist I received a call from a political junkie friend of mine who claims to have relations in the McCain camp. He informed me that starting tomorrow the McCain camp was going to turn to a strategy that would leave Obama supporters beating their breasts and gnashing their teeth. I can only suspect that the McCain camp is starting to get the fear and in their anguish are going to try to pummel Obama like a pinata. Yes folks I dont think issues matter anymore for the McCain camp. I think they see the sharks circling and are desperate to get someone else's blood in the water. I think the hockey mom is going to wipe the lipstick off and become the pitbull the McCain camp has been wanting. Yes sir we have a month until the election and I think there will be a lot of casualties. This has become trench warfare and only the nastiest grittiest warriors will survive. Unfortunately I dont think Obama can lob the same grenades that McCain can. I do know that Joe Bidens mother-in-law died last night and that Palin has already taken a shot at him for leaving the campaign trail to be with his wife. This is about to get as nasty as it gets folks. As Hunter S Thompson used to say Buy the Ticket Take the ride. Maybe when the dust settles and the wounded hobble away we will see that maybe it wasnt so bad after all...but I doubt it.