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sh*t faced! by 
Male 58
North Pole, ID
 Twas the night before Christmas and here in my crib..the wife was giving me head as I munched a McRib. From out in the kitchen there arose such a racket I lept from our bed..grabbed grabbed my Glock from my jacket. Down the short hallway did I madly dash..slightly hallucinating from wicked Who Hash. There what to my bloodshot eyes did appear? BADD Santa chugging my case of good beer. He ripped a loud fart..Good Gawd did it stink. Then he whipped out his North Pole and pissed in our sink
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