Rogue's blog: "Throwing plates"

We operate under so many misconceptions in this amplified version of the real world. So many people make judgements based on Fu bullshit. (likes, rates, numbers, bling) Why do we really give a fuck? I was informed today that I am jaded. This was something I didn't know about myself (mostly because I am actually not) I am guarded (especially here and with good reason) The distinction is this: Guarded means you are careful with your feelings and your personal life and who  you let have access to either. Jaded means you are not open to love or friendship. To me it means bitter. I don't see everyone as bad or good. I see them for what they show me. Even in this fucked up place I have made friends that have broken down my defenses and become as important to me as family. I trust that those of you who maintain that place know very well who you are. I have seen more judgement here lately than I care to see in a lifetime. We are all guilty of it and I personally am working on it as we all should be.As of late I have had people unfriend me based on what I can only assume is their closeness to others that for whatever reason I no longer maintain a friendship with. This is insanity to me. How do u base your friendships on a relationship or friendship they had with someone else? Is it their version of events was so heinous that you decided that someone was not worth your time or benefit of the doubt. Regardless of what happens between me and anyone here I keep it to myself. I like who I like and always for good reason, but I never force my opinions on others or disparage a former friend. Even if they deserve it.. and some do. That being said I was also told tonight that someone  had resentment towards me for not being more receptive to their friendship. Here is the trick: We all came here for a reason. Some reasons we don't want to admit to ourselves even. It is an escape, a place to go to hide in the open. To show glimpses of yourself you may not have the guts to show face to face. It may very well be as simple as ego. Again we all have our reasons. The thing is that I don't owe anyone anything, nor does anyone owe me anything. I may or may not answer a comment, rate or some other bullshit. You don't know what is going on in my real world, no more than I do about yours. I guess what I am trying to say is cut the bullshit. Take the good with the bad here. Keep your judgements to yourself and if you don't like me then simply move on. Let the nonsense go or simply stay out of my life. (fu or real) And if I seem guarded to you there is good reason. I consider myself a smart person, but even I have fallen for bullshit here and believed all the pretty things someone said to me when clearly in the end I shouldn't have. It won't happen again and I am not here for any sort of romantic entanglement. I am here for my real friends and sometimes just to push buttons and shut out the real world. If you want to get to know me it may or may not happen. There are many variables. Is it because I think I am special? Well yes, of course I do and if you don't find yourself special we probably wouldn't get a long very well. Just understand if we are even fu friends that I am me and you probably don't know me at all, so never make assumptions because you will most likely be wrong. I can count on one hand the people here who truly know me. Also please understand I will do as I please because I make my own decisions here and in the real world.