REKT ME PLZ Lunar Storm Witch's blog: "Stuff..."

Anxiety isn’t just chest pains, crying, and the inability to relax. It’s biting your nails until they bleed, then picking off the skin on your fingers once you’re out of nails to bite. It’s driving to the store only to sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes before turning back around, without even going inside. It’s getting a text message and forgetting to respond promptly, so instead of responding explaining you were busy, you leave the notification there for days, weeks, even months, getting a knot in your stomach every time you scroll past it or every time that person’s name comes up. It’s hearing a noise and planning in your mind where you’ll hide, what doors you’ll lock, and how you’ll secretly call for help if someone broke into your house. It’s asking your partner several times a day if they love you, partially kidding, but mostly needing to hear it because you find it so hard to love yourself in that moment. It’s putting off washing the dishes until there’s no dishes left, but then feeling overwhelmed by how many dishes there are to wash, so you just leave them another day. It’s understanding that what you’re worrying about is often irrational and not as extreme as your reaction warrants, but not being able to control your response. Often times, it even means you CAN’T understand that what you’re worrying about is irrational or not as extreme as your reaction warrants. Anxiety isn’t just chest pains, crying, and the inability to relax. It’s taking everyday parts of life and intensifying the excitement or fear they result in times a thousand, to the point that they seem impossible to face. Some days are more manageable than others, and it’s on those days I try to remind myself that I CAN get through whatever anxiety throws my way.

Silent rage

It burns

It stings 

So deep

Tossing and turning

Turmoil

Consuming thoughts

Sleepless nights

This is your doing!

Tormenting is your being

HATRED!

Deep burning hatred

I know you feel it

Eating away at your disgusting flesh

Laughing at your tormentious guilt

You know

I know

One day you'll feel it all

Anger Management
 
 When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
 it
 out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
 someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
 phone
 call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
 
 A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could
 I
 please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in
 my ear
 "Get the right f***ing  number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
 I
 couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .
 
 When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
 had
 accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her,
 I
 decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered
 the
 phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

 I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
 in my
 desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
 really
 bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always
 cheered me
 up.
 
 When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
 calling
 would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
 Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
 with
 our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I
 quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
 and
 hung up.
 
 One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
 Some
 guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
 waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
 spot,
 but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back
 window, so
 I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling
 the
 first asshole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd
 better
 call the BMW asshole, too.
 
 I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes,
 it
 is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I
 live at
 34 Oaktree  Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked
 right out in front."

 I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked,
 "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every
 evening
 after five."

 I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
 
 He said, "Yes?"
 
 I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
 
 Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

 Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
 
 Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I
 said,
 "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still
 there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make
 me,"
 He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said,
 "Yeah?
 Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree  Blvd, in
 Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He
 said,
 "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your
 prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
 
 Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole,"
 He
 yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He
 exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's
 your
 chance. I'm coming over right now."
 
 Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
 at 34
 Oaktree  Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
 my
 gay lover.
 
 Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
   Blvd.
 in Fairfax.
 
 I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
 in
 time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front
 of
 six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
 crew.
 
 NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

Love is when you take away the feeling , the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out I still care for you.

The best kind of friend is the kind I can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation I ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but its also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Never say good-bye if you still want to try, never give up if you still feel you can go on, never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.

Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love although they've been hurt before, and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it only takes a smile to make a day seem bright. You are the one that makes me smile.

There are moments in my life when I miss you so much that I just want to pick you from my dreams and hug you for real! I hope you dream of me that way.

The beginning of love is to let those we love just be themselves, and not twist them into our own image, otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we love in them. I'd rather love you just the way you are.

Why spend any time at all looking for greener pastures when the two greatest places on Earth is laying in your arms and you laying in mine. Who could ask for more?