Arion thee! Thou art distempered with fell. Fie. Go forth and flee, like thy fond whitehearted beast. Thou hast proven thyself to be mearly a knave. Thy love for one was pageant. Prithee, pronounce thy regret for adultery. How dare thee dally withal a runnion! Cleave to thy Brach.
Thou hast lost thy love of something so mary. Thou cannot speak of being fap! Thou hast fobbed thy love. For what?! A fond dally? Thou hast antick 'pon I. Thou hast baffled thyself for a mear pin-butted caitiff. Thou villainous puke-stockinged mildewed-ear! Haste me to know't, that I, with wings as swift as meditation or the thoughts of love, may sweep to me revenge. Arion thee, thou infectious heavy-handed malignancy! Fly and never return.
(Interpretation -- Some dude's just cheated on his lover with some rotten hooker. I spent all this time researching Shakespearean words for this one. I'm in a low mood..)