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My Mama & Me
I dedicate this to Linda Jane Yeager
Born on March 1st 1960-
Deceased on Febuary 9th, 2006
Why can't I live everyday like its gonna be the last? Except for the last day with my Mama, I could not even say goodbye. We put her on life support, but now I wish we didn't. She was suffering and hurting, she had been for a long time. I was so selfish wanting her to get better so she could be with me and my girls. I prolonged her illness by making her suffer 5 more days on life support. I was trying to beat fate but fate won, just as always!!!
Dear Mama,
I am so sorry for being selfish and not being there to take you to the hospital, instead I left you about 9:15 p.m. to go to work. I was so worried that my job needed me and was depending on me to be there. I regret leaving you knowing you were struggling to breathe, but you had refused to go back to the hospital. When I ask you if you needed to go, that was a stupid question it was only obvious. I wish I would have taken you, if I would have only known that it was going to be the last time that I could of actually looked into your big beautiful brown eyes and talk to you. I would have never left you to go to work. My heart aches, My tears fall, I have so many things to ask & tell you about. I feel crazy talking to you out loud or everyone else assumes I'm crazy. I am CRAZY, I'm crazy over you just like the song we used to sing together by the judds Mama he's Crazy. I Love You And Miss You So much, it's been so hard to accept your gone. Sometimes it seems as if I feel you hug me when I'm sad, or maybe its me wanting to beieve you are hugging me!!!
