You might be a redneck if….
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You've got more guns "On Display" than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.
Your pocket knife often doubles as a toothpick.
You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
