You know you’re a vampire when:
1. You like your meat raw and suck instead of chewing.
2. You need to take a fire extinguisher with you to sunbake.
3. You have to brush your teeth in front of a ‘drawing’ of yourself.
4. Mosquitoes that bite you grow fangs.
5. When you go to church the priest keeps throwing holy water on you.
6. When your pet dog is really a werewolf.
7. Your pet rats keep ‘mysteriously’ disappearing.
8. Your best friend is called Igor.
9. Everyone thinks you are a Goth and you don’t know what a Goth is.
10. You say you’re going out for a quick bite you don’t mean McDonalds.
11. When your parents offer to buy you a car you ask for a horse and carriage instead.
12. You want to vacation in Transylvania.
13. Your mother keeps asking you to tidy your coffin.
14. You go for flying lessons and don’t need a plane.
15. The blood bank starts to make home deliveries.
16. At Halloween you don’t need a costume.
17. Your friends are scared about being invited for dinner.
18. Your mother complains about all the capes in the washing.
19. The neighbours start sharpening stakes outside your window.
20. Your sister starts wearing a cross around her neck and she’s not religious.
