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confused's blog: "hmmm idk"

created on 05/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/hmmm-idk/b85183

You know that feeling...

You know that feeling when you've cried too much and you just go numb? you're throat starts to clench and you're head freezes.. you feel like you're going to vomit but nothing comes out, you want to scream at the top of your lungs but totally forgot what you're even crying about; because you're life is so shit and you don't know what problem is worse; you cannot compare your problems to another one of your problems, because everything just SUCKS. you know that feeling when you're so depressed you've had the worst night, there's a weird feeling in your chest; is my heart breaking? or have my lungs stopped breathing? am i alive? alive enough to feel like i mean something upon this earth? you know that feeling where your whole body gets dizzy, you lose your balance, as soon as you lose your head. you're crazy because there's too much wrong, you want something to go right for once, this crap has been going on for too long. and you know that feeling when you want to end your life because nothing ever feels worth while anymore, every things a daze, and there's never any change. you know that feeling when you just got your feet back on the ground, and then suddenly something comes along, and knocks you right back off. you feel worthless, you feel rejected, i never suspected that this is how my life would be ended. grabbing the blade, digging into my skin, pretending as I cut that I don't feel a thing...... you know that feel when you're drifting off to heaven, you're eyes are wide open and you see yourself on the ground, you want to go back because you think of all the people you love, but now it's too late, there's no going back. so you float up to heaven with tears tracing down, they drop to wards the ground, and as you hear it break you're heart begins to pound. it feels like it ripped out of you, and so you choke and you scream, hoping that all this is nothing but a dream.
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