Road House Greatness vs. Dirty Dancing Greatness
1)Road House-Mulletude
Dirty Dancing- Johnny Castle's slick pompadour
2) Road House-Sewing up his own wound in a bar bathroom
Dirty Dancing- Johnny Castle would never attempt self-surgery. He knows its retarded. He lets Doc Hausmann--the expert, the professional--sew up Penny's post-abortive cooch hole.
3) Road House-"Pain Don't Hurt"
Dirty Dancing- "You just put your pickle on everybody's plate, college boy, and leave the hard stuff to me."
4) Road House-Degree in Philosophy from NYU
Dirty Dancing- Degree in sexy pelvis movement.
5) Road House-Sex with Kelly Lynch
Dirty Dancing- Bangs every bungalow bunny at Kellerman's. Kelly Lynch is hot, no lie, but she's also about four cup sizes smaller than MILFalicious Mrs. Pressman.
6) Road House-Lives in a barn loft
Dirty Dancing- Lives in a cabin full of soul music in a magical forest that drips sex rain.
7) Road House-Does tai chi outside his barn loft
Dirty Dancing- Does erotic acrobatics in lakes with hard nipples.
8) Road House-Killed two people by ripping out their throats
Dirty Dancing- He's a lover, not a fighter--unless cold, carelessly sperminating rich boys like Robbie Gould dishonor the women he loves. Screw you and your objectivism, Robbie Gould!
9) Road House-Tackles a man on a motorcycle running at a dead sprint
Dirty Dancing- Tackles preconceived notions of class and socioeconomic status.
10) Road House-Sam Elliott is his best friend
Dirty Dancing- He's a loner...a rebel.
11) Road House-Snaps a guy's knee
Dirty Dancing- Snaps an insanely tight Chaînés turn.
12) Road House-Friends with the dearly departed Jeff Healey
Dirty Dancing- Meet Johnny Castle's friends, Otis Redding and Solomon Burke.
13) Road House-Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.
Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?
Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.
Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?
Dalton: Is she?...I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.
Dirty Dancing- "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
