I didn't know where to start, so I will start somewhere in the middle.
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Have you ever known someone that is painfully ignorant to the world around them? Perhaps someone who makes you wish you could chlorinate the gene pool more frequently?
My boss (MY BOSS) asked me to get her a Visa to North Korea today.
A VISA to NORTH FUCKING KOREA.
Here is the conversation:
Me: Do you mean South Korea?
Boss: No, North Korea. I need a Visa for North Korea.
Me: I can't do that.
Boss: Why not?
Me: You can't get into North Korea.
Boss: Why?
Me: Well, no one can leave the country, and no one can get in. Also...they have nuclear weapons.
Boss: Are you serious? You're joking.
Me: I'm serious. Their human rights track record is not so shiny. You cannot get a Visa to North Korea. They will not let you in. Do you know Kim Jong Il?
Boss: Oh, maybe I mean South Korea.
Me: Probably.
I knew this girl who thought that the Bloods and Crips weren't real. She thought it was all made up to tell a cautionary tale about what can happen if you fall into cliques. In her words, like a more violent West Side Story.
I wish I was making this up.
You want more? Okay. I live to please.
My best friend at the time and I were playing Taboo with some friends. If you don't know what that game is, look it up.
She was trying to get me to guess a word. Our time is running.
She tells me this is a two-parter.
First part. She makes a jerking off gesture.
I guess "jizz" and I am right.
Second part. She says "Larry, Curly and..."
I say Mo. I am again, correct.
She tells me to say them together and I reluctantly say "Jizz-Mo"
She yells "Yes! You got it!"
I say "What the hell is Jizz-Mo??"
She shows me the card she was working from.
Wanna know what was on the card?
GIZMO. Fucking Gizmo, as in the Gremlins and cute furry Gizmo.
She's not really my friend anymore...
