XxBeautifullyxBrokenxX Blog by Theres Beauty In The Breakdown
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Numb

Alone in a house where the only thing that becons you is the sound of your own voice in your head..Hell I woke up to the sound of my grandmothers voice and that was weird yet comforting.I think..Im not sure its pretty fucked up when ya hear a voice ya aint heard in 14 yrs. But she was so pleasant sounding and I could smell her sweet perfume hear her footsteps across the wood floor.I reached out to touch her and she was gone....God I miss her. Forgive me father for I have sinned.... Im so messed up. I dont know anymore. I need to just drop off the face of the earth so noone can find me. They say don't get your hopes up, Or you'll just end up getting burned, And yet somehow or another, I never really learned, I watched all I care for, Break down before my eyes, My dream is forever out of reach, Despite all my tries, Nothing is built to last, And dreams are no exception, They are tricks and lies, Your mind's taunting deception, The warm tranquility of a dream, So soon becomes a cold sadness, Blanketed by hurt and pain, Driving one to utter madness, The piercing and scorching, Only to be accompanied by your screams, Thus is the price I must pay, i can't help it.... This body this body is my prison it knows of only pain so many scars from glass and razorblades cover this 5'7'' frame so many nights spent crying after days of bingeing swearing not to purge not to make it worse i know the dangers i know the effects curled in a ball as i eat myself to death i need control curb the craving just another slice this body isn't worth saving look in the mirror stare in disgust try not to cry try not to break it's all my fault all my mistake why can't i be normal? just love myself? i can't i don't deserve it break out a blade release some tension another secret shame that i really shouldn't mention make the barcodes on my legs stairways on my thighs catscratch in the arms learn how to lie the beauty of self harm deny deny and deny some more each one you trick adds to your score blood trickles a beautiful red stream i am at peace everything's so serene the voices they're coming back cut some more block them out for a moment or more berry colored gashes cover gorged porceline skin this is my daily battle this is how deep i'm in.. Someone save me..Save me from my sin
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