Lonely and Mistaken's blog: "Words of the faithful and dying"

I could not sleep and so I went into the kitchen and fiddled through the fridge until I found something to ease my craving. finding some beautiful strawberries I cut them into halves, careful to take off the leafy green part. Placing the now cut berries onto a plate I sprinkle sugar across. just lightly to sweeten the taste. grabbing a fork and then picking up the tray in one hand and a bottle of whipped cream in the other, I make my way back to my room. after I crawl into bed I turn over and nuzzle your nose with my fingertip, teasing you to wake and smile at me. " hi sleepyhead.." I whisper as you rumple around in your sheets. "I have a treat for you.." I smile as you sit up and look at me with unfocused eyes and yawn with a slight stretch, " but you have to close your eyes" Smiling and doing as your told I take a sliver of berry onto the fork and watch as your body tenses to the sound of the whipped cream can. a smile across your face, lets me know you are anxious and ready and I can't hold myself back any long, "open your mouth.." You do as your told without hesitation and I slowly feed to you the sugar coated strawberry and smile to watch your reaction... After a couple more bites, and you eagerly accepting them, I can now sleep and so I doze as you wrap your warm embrace about my body.. "goodnight"

this is a story i wrote randomly :) _________________________________________________ It was a beautiful day, and Lilly had planned to go into the market by herself for the first time..She had dreamed of this day for a long time and couldn't wait for the time when she would hear her mothers angelic voice.. "Lilly!" the voice rang out! "YES!" Replied Lilly.. She hopped up from her sitting position beneath the large willow tree out back of their yard and headed quickly up the back steps, her eyes were down and she didn't notice as she head butted her mother in the tummy..with a slight "oof.." she stopped and looked up giggling.."Sorry Mom.." shaking her head and humming lightly she went indoors to grab her hooded cloak, she would need it for the walk home. It was nearing the end of the day as her mother finally handed her the small white slip of paper and strickly forbid her from going into the alleyways. With a quick and simple.."Yes Mother.." Lilly was on her way.. Lilly was halfway between a Woman and a Child, at the rip age of 16, and had long lustrious corn silk hair, never once having the nerve nor the will to cut it, it hung loosely about her thighs, piercing blue eyes that could shatter any mans heart and make him want to yeild to her innocence, and a body that any normal girl her age couldn't even dream of..she was set to marry on the next Morn. She walked silently through the dense wood as she headed toward the market, her eyes trailing over the soft piece of parchment as she read the list of ingredients she was to buy.. "Cream, Eggs, Bacon, corn meal, sugar, flour, and chocolate.." she recited the ingredients and shook her head, she knew exactly what she was going to get and why, though she didn't let it get her hopes down..she didn't want to think about what was going to happen the next day.. ------------------------------------------------- Lilly had already gathered all the things on the list and held them safetly in the large wooden basket she had found disgarded at the edge of one of the alleyways, and was now over looking one of the carts with the fine jewlrey hanging from every nook and cranny, she was amazed at all the beautiful things..but her eye had caught one thing in particular, that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't tear her eyes away from it...silver chain, beaded and tightly strung..with a medium sized silver rose pendant hanging..ever so often she would try to glance at something else..but she was drawn to this piece somehow.. "Beautiful..isn't it.." Came sort of a groan from behind her, startled she turned on her heels and faced the man who had spoken to her... "Wh-who are you!?" she stammered trying to regain herself.." You scared the witts out of me.." she brought her right hand up quickly to cover the beating within her chest, as if the man himself could see it.. "You can call me Idyos.." the man remarked quickly and without hesitation, his eyes burned into her..and she suddenly felt aware of them.. and much like the necklace she was intranced by his eyes as she stared up at him..she wanted him..no..she wanted his eyes..dropping the basket of goodies she waggered towards him.. The man was completely clad in black. A flowing cape, tied at the neck, a low shadowed hat, and the normal dress of slacks and a dress-shirt, even his feet were clad in a shiny leather..it all mystified Lilly..and so she followed him willingly into the darkness of the shadows within the alleyway she was forbidden to walk down. The walk seem to drag on forever, but even eternity seemed a whirlwind of colors as Idyos wrapped his arms around Lilly's small lithe frame and drew her close to his embrace..still in trance she sighed happily and all of her working organs began to respond to him, an intense feeling overwhelmed her and she lifted onto her tip-toes and yeilded to his swooning. In all of a whisp of cornsilk waves Lilly tilted her head and layed it upon his chest, it was hard..cold..and unforgiving, but she didn't care, she sighed and then with an open mouth she moaned as Idyos lowered his head into the crook of her neck.. The bite, it was full of wonder and she couldn't move..no..wouldn't move..she refused to even try and rip herself from his sweet suckling motions, tears of pain and joy slid down now flushed cheeks, and she only wanted to press herself closer..closer to his sting of death..her head began to swirl..."Take me.."she wanted to cry out! Yet only found herself locked within her own mind, screaming, pleading, begging..then the final moment when she went limp all over and he pulled those pearly whites, stained with her blood from the depths of her flesh... Tears poured as she now lay unmoving in his arms, draped like a tossed quilt..."Sleep now my beauty..and rest.." he cooed towards her as she took her last welcomed breath and completely collapsed...her heart, once beating vitaly now slowly stopping..until... ------------------------------------------------- Everyone was in shock as they woke the next morning to find LIlly still hadn't returned..and all out search had been performed and sadly, in the same alley she was told to stay away from, they found her cold dead body tossed like a quilt into the mud..alas her face..was a happy one..and she was bleeding tears as her soul slipped further and further...

I wrote this story for a monthly competition. the theme was "altered states of mind" and I won :) Tell me what you think! ------------------------------------------------- She sat there silently as she bent over the small coffee table in her one room, run down apartment, steadily breaking up the small buds she had recently aquired from a man down on the second floor.. "...shut up..I can do this.." she shook her head as she continued to work on the substance at her fingertips.. " You know you can't..you've tried..your a lost cause..let me.." she twitched and then shook her head as she let her hands fly around.. "NO! SHUT UP!" she growled and bent down over the bud again.." I can do this.." she whispered as she pulled a paper from its booklet and folded it to form a small boat.. " Look..you've already messed up..here let me.." her lips turned into a smile and then she frowned and growled again.. " I wanna do it..Jas.." " you'll mess up..it'll only take me a second.." her eyes lowered and her hands slowly fell and she backed away from the table.. hands pick up the wrap and start to drop the broken bits into it..nimble fingers flip, twist and then it was licked.. " here ya go..all done.." her eyes looked up as she pulled out her lighter.."......" she lights the end and puffs slowly.. " WHAT in the hell are you doing!" she jumped.." n...n...nothin.." she dropped the joint and stood up.. a soft knock came upon the door and the girl turned towards it..she hesitated opening the door..she didn't exactly like company..they made her feel weird..she took a deep breath and moved slowly and timidly towards the door..her hand extending to the door knob, fingers shakeing.."wh...who is it?" " its me..Brenda..come on cheryl let me in..you remember yesterday don't you?" " of course you remember yesterday..she tried throwing us out the door.." " shut up..she's my friend..she only wants to help.." " I don't care either way..but stop smoking that shit..its not healthy for you.." " leave me alone..I like it.." "yeah, leave her alone..we like it.." she turned to look around the apartment.. " make her leave!" " NO! I don't want to.." " look the house is a mess..do you really want someone coming in to see it?" she looked down and shook her head.." no.." " Cheryl come on..open the door..I have something for you.." the voice rang from the other side of the door and cheryl turned back quickly.. " wha..what is it..?" she licked her lips and brought her hands to clasp infront of her bossom.. " its nothing good..you know she always gives you medicine..you don't want it..remember?" " n..no...i don't remember..but she's my friend.." she reached to the door and turned the knob. she stepped back quickly and stared as the door slowly slid open.. Cheryl blinked and gulped as Brenda walked in and shut the door behind her.. " wh..what did..y..you..get me..?" she licked her bottom lip again as Brenda smiled and pulled a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich from the bag on her side.. " its your favorite.." Brenda smiled gently as Cheryl took it.. " what are you doing..don't take that..its a trick.." " Hello Jas..how are you today.." Brenda sat her bag on the table and turned back.. " shut up..i have nothing to say to you.." " thats fine..cheryl..come here and sit at the table and eat your sandwhich while i start cleaning up ok.." " yeah.." she nodded and scuffled over towards the table and began to unwrap the sandwhich.. " stop! don't do it..! I don't trust her! Cheryl!" Cheryl shook her head.." shut up! I want it!" she bit into the sandwhich and began to chew slowly.. " CHERYL!" " leave her alone Jen..let her have the sandwhich..she'll be better if she eats it.." " thank you Hannah..how are you?" Brenda smiled.." I haven't seen you in awhile.." " yeah well..shit happens.." " i can't believe your eating that..after all i've done for you..you can't just do this one thing for me.." " leave me alone!!" Brenda turned and shook her head slightly..she knew that they needed to work out their own arguements..so she just went back to clearing up the kitchen.. Cheryl quickly finished the sandwhich and moved back to the table where the joint was laying and she lit it quickly.. she inhaled deeply and began to cough.. " I told you not to do that..!" between breaths she huffed and took another hit..Brenda came in quickly and snatched it from Cheryl's hands.." this is bad for you Cheryl..you need to quit.." " hey..give it back!" " No Jas..i will not give it back to her..or you.." Brenda nodded her head.. " thanks Brenda..I was starting to get upset.." " don't worry about it Hannah..i'll take care of it.." Brenda smiled again and started cleaning the living room now.. " you..are such..a whiner.." Jas huffed and shook her head, Hannah rolled her eyes and then smiled.. " Do you feel better Cheryl...do you feel better cheryl..do you feel better cheryl.." the oice got softer and softer as the medicine began to kick in.. Cheryl stood and made her way drozily towards the bed to flop down..she closed her eyes as her world began to spin " some..body.." she sighed.." make..it..stop..." her voice trailed off as she rolled into a deep sleep..the medicine would take a while to kick in, so the sleeping aide was nessecary Brenda stopped cleaning and went to Cheryls bed side to tuck her in.. " Goodnight Ladies.." she smiled and continued about her work around the apartment..

Broken and confused wondering what to do all my life i've tried to find the perfect guy i've been bruised by lies, torn by love and disgusted by lust but still i managed to find comfort in your words. I imagined myself in your arms when i was blue I cried to you, but you made me smile I thought about you every second, everyday now again i've been bruised, but this time, by you. weeks with nothing, not even a hello I'm been through a downward spiral, since our last encounter, and i've cried at my loss I miss our late night conversations I miss the way your eyes lite up, when you smile back at me, though we couldn't see. I miss the five minute 'I love you's' and the long await meeting, and even though I haven't been able to, I still miss you but no matter what, what I miss the most is, your laugh. bruised and broken hurt and confused torn between being strong and missing you...

Standing alone dancing in the moonlight my mind whirling through the dark abyss that shadows my securities when we don't talk I can hear the music, thought it is faint scared to death that one day soon, I'll have heard your voice no more I dare not move on as I spin beneath the stars in this moment, silent moment, all i can see is you as I close my eyes and twirl in the breeze i pretend you are near wrapping your arms around me and telling me I should no more fear you have come to rescue my inner voice and my voice cries out to you I want you, I miss you, all I can do is dream about you. scared to move on, for fear of what i might miss I stop my silent dance. breathless i reach and the further you get an aching, sinking feeling compe and into the darkness you fade then, again i hear your voice, and into the darkness i run desperate for your touch but unfortunately your voice is the only comfort i get.

Your tall and I like that your sweet and thats rare constantly complaining that I hide behind my hair well now i'm here to tell you you've really rubbed off more confidence is what I show, just because we've talked I can just imagine looking in your eyes all the tension that built up blown away by delightful surprise just your hands upon me would be enough to know that all this time that passed the feeling should overflow the time the moment comes you'll know right then the look and the sigh will tell you i'm the one and i've finally found my home my home within your arms my love within your walls unfortunately it'll be awhile before i come to call I just want you to know one day you will see with all my southern style that all the waiting will prove to be worthwhile so take a breath and take a seat because this brief moment will be all you'll ever need.

Your tall and I like that your sweet and thats rare constantly complaining that I hide behind my hair well now i'm here to tell you you've really rubbed off more confidence is what I show, just because we've talked I can just imagine looking in your eyes all the tension that built up blown away by delightful surprise just your hands upon me would be enough to know that all this time that passed the feeling should overflow the time the moment comes you'll know right then the look and the sigh will tell you i'm the one and i've finally found my home my home within your arms my love within your walls unfortunately it'll be awhile before i come to call I just want you to know one day you will see with all my southern style that all the waiting will prove to be worthwhile so take a breath and take a seat because this brief moment will be all you'll ever need.

Alone again tonight friends and family all gone in some far away place with an unknown face my heart a sunken ship as i lay down my head my tears a constent stream as i begin to dream of a land that i recall with love and family crawling from the walls my mothers loving embrace my sisters smiling face all welcoming me into their sacred space mother i am sorry sisters please forgive I did not mean to go I did not mean to offend in your home a problem child and rest you could not get so for me to leave the house would mean perfect peace now i'm having trouble alone i can not make it so into the peace, may i come? I promise i won't break it.

Dance among the stars swim along the rays of sun together a perfect pair, tempt to merge as one The pain they must share to be apart more enduring then the faint of heart a lovers spat to be alone lothing the distance, wanting it none Tears of a goddess, lady of the night passion of a god, ruler of light when two hearts beat as one distance will be out done when heaven splits and a baby cries the mother and father will reign again

I used to want to stand on the Tallest tower. Where I could over look the world. But before I could, it came crashing down, His sister by his side. On that fate-filled day, so many lost their lives And for once the whole world cried. Now our troops bleed and die, in a land with a blood red sky. no one knows the truth behind the mask, still everyone wanted to ask. All I wanted was to stand on the tallest tower. Now I can't..until the war is over.