As a point of ethics, I do not celebrate Easter. Christmas. Thanksgiving. Or really, any other holiday, come to mention it. Mostly out of ethics, but also because I simply don't find any of these days more special than the next, or the last. They simply are.
But, my point of ethics is; I am not a hypocrite. Easter and Xmas are Xian holidays (as well we know), and as I am a nihilist, or an out and out athiest for those who cannot process nihilism, it would be inappropriate for me to celebrate these holidays in any context. It would be h y p o c r i t i c a l for me to celebrate them, and I do my best to not be a hypocrite. Also, I have a minute speck of respect for these religious blokes, and I'm not going to hinder their fun, I'm going to sit off to the side, smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Nonetheless, I can feel quite festive, and this is one of those moments, so here are some Easter tidings from Bill Hicks and Eddie Izzard. -ahem- But, not in that order.
"So, yes. The pagans had big festivals on, remember, Easter and Christmas. Christian religion came along and had very big festivals on Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. hm-hm-hm-hmm? 'Cause, Jesus i do think did exist. He was a guy who had interesting ideas, in the Gandhi type area, the Nelson Mandela type area - relaxed and groovy. And the romans thought, 'relaxed and groovy? no-no-no-no.' so they murdered him. and then kids eat chocolate eggs, because the colour of the chocolate and the colour of the wood on the cross... well, you tell me? it's got nothing to do with it, has it? people going, "remember kids..." kids eating the chocolate eggs, "remember kids, jesus died for your sins." "yeah, i know, it's great." "no, no. it's bad." "no, it's bad. it's very bad. it's terrible. whatever you want, i mean, just keep giving me these eggs."
and the bunny rabbits, where do they come into the crucifixion? there were no bunny rabbits going, "you going to put these crosses in our warrens? we live below this hill, alright? Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. it's a festival of... it's the spring festival."
EDDIEizzard
"i was over in australia during easter, which was interesting. interesting to note, they celebrate easter the same way we do, commorating the death and resurrection of jesus, by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit, left chocolate eggs in the night. now, i wonder why we're fucked up as a race? anybody got any clues out there? where do you get this shit from? why those two things, y'know? why not a gold fish left lincoln logs in your sock drawer? as long as we're making shit up, go hog wild. at least a gold fish with a lincoln log on its back going across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it. 'mummy, i woke up today and there was a lincoln log in me sock drawer.' 'that's the story of jesus.' who comes up with this shit? i've read the bible, i can't find the word bunny or chocolate anywhere in that fucking book!"
BILLhicks
