Over 16,508,895 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

257723's blog: "Woo!"

created on 10/01/2006  |  http://fubar.com/woo/b8943
Everyone in the world has basically two things online right? A myspace and either xanga or livejournal or something. I just so happened to have all three and seeing how I'm so bored out of my mind right now I could run around in circles and be 100% thrilled I was like why not go back and read about what was going through your mind. All I can say was wow. Seriously what in the living fuck was I thinking. Everything I said on my old live journal was completely me. Like with matt and what not. He was a good guy and I wasn’t all ‘Omg I’m going to die if me and him break up.’ I was just thrilled to the fact we were dating because that long ago I really did like him and then there was family stuff in there too. Like until about 20 minuets ago I forgot when David went to that mental hospital for a while L that was sad when that happened. And then theres everything that happened with Ryan…god I was so stupid. And then when Anthony died. I cried when I read that. I miss the fucking hell out of him. He didn’t deserve it. He was going into the army and he was picking his life back up. So in a matter of two monthes my brother went to a mental hospital, I dated and broke up with matt, Anthony died and I fucked around with one of my best guy friends. I mean when shit like that happens you find out who are really your friends and who doesn’t give a shit about you. So that was just my old live journal. My xanga made me wanna throw up all over the place. What the FUCK was I thinking. Was I really “in love” with him. I couldn’t have been. I was just blind to everything that was happeneing. I mean granted I havnt been with andy that long at all but like the couple of days we have been together, I think I’ve smiled and laughed more then the entire time me and schoeny were together. Honestly. I just looking back to those couple entries because I didn’t have many in there and stuff but like I remember all that. My life was falling apart and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and disappear from the world forever…yea I know that was almost the most emo thing to say ever but it was the truth. I wasn’t eating because I thought I was fat and shit because I was told I was…im not saying by who but take a wild guess…every time I turned around I was paranoid about what schoeny was doing when he wasn’t talking to me because I knew what was up but then we’d talk and I’d act like everything was fine. All we ever talked about half the time was sex. I mean think about it, if I had a bad day I’d always end up talking to someone else about it, never him, the one person in the world that was SUPPOSED to be there for me. And go figure who I always did end up going to. Andy. I don’t even remember why I started getting a crush on him. Like I know when it was. I could actually tell you the day it was. Not the date but the day and stuff. It was his senior prom and like we talked basically all day until he had to leave. And like god, everything about him amazes me. There’s always a guy out there that you can sort of see yourself but your like no way that could never happen. I mean, looking back and thinking about it we both had massive problems with whoever we were going after or with at the time and we always bitched about it to each other and when the other person left, whoever was feeling like shit be it him or me left happy. Was that some sort of sign that mabe he was different. And like, for once he sees me for me not some chick that’s got a big rack, a nice ass and a cute face. He knows theres more to me then that and he’s basically one of the only guys to take the time to get that. I can straight out say he is basically the only guy I can talk to about anything. I mean even minus the fact we are together now. Before all that, I could tell him anything and no matter what the subject he was there. I don’t even know what I’m getting at with this whole thing. I really don’t. It’s just stuff that’s been running through my head all day. And then there’s just him in general. Like on myspace and what not there’s surveys right? Well, when I’m hella bored I do them just because why not waste 15 to 20 minuets randomly answering utterly pointless questions. Ok honestly, every other question has to do with him somehow because EVERYTHING either makes me think of him, reminds me of something he said, reminds me of something we’ve talked about, something. I basically feel bad for anyone that took the time to read them (which is probably nobody so this is a pointless apology) because like..wow lol. It’s probably getting to the point that it’s annoying by now. But eh whatever, if it gets annoying to him, he’ll tell me and I’ll stop. I could care less if it was annoying to anyone else lol. Like I’m a girl so of course I’ve had the occasional guy stuck in my head but he’s stuck there for a couple minuets, mabe hours and that’s it. It goes away. With andy it's all different. I wake up in the morning, first thing I think about is him, at school I daze off and not pay one bit of attention because I can’t get him out of head, I’m constantly bringing him up to my friends. It’s nuts, but yet very much amazing. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else stuck in there but him. And like, lately we’ve been talking on the phone a lot more so like, his voice is stuck there too. And it is probably by far the most amazing voice ever. And then there’s the little stuff he does, that he probably doesn’t even realize mean the world to me. Like for instance last nite, he’s with his friends and I’m so used to just letting whoever it is go and not hear anything from them until they come back. Almost the entire time he was with them he was on the net talking to me and I kept wanting to be like, sweetie go hang with your friends but I know even if I said that he wouldn’t have left. And then he called me, and he was still with them and like yesterday was shitty day for me and stuff and omg, I laughed so hard. It was awesome. Or like his away messages lately have something to do with me and it’s like seriously the cutest thing ever. I think I’m gonna stop now because it’s quite obvious I could continue writing until he got home from work about how much 1.) I love him 2.) how he amazes me 3.) how I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have him and 4.) how great of a guy I finally found and have. He’s perfect and I really really really really really really really really really really really really love him. (don’t ask about the many really’s lmao) :)

past couple days...

basically the past couple of days have been crazy. last week around like idk thursday i started to get sick and slowly it just started to get worse and stuff. homecoming was saturday. i didnt wanna go and the only reason i did was because they bought me the ticket and shit and like i had my dress and all that so i was like what else is there to do on a saturday nite. the entire time i was there all i thought about was him and like i know thats why the entire thing just blew...i wanted him there and he obvisouly couldnt be there...i danced a little bit but other then that i just sat there and talked to a couple people...i left like a hour or so early and shit too because i had this amazing plan to talk to andy and guess what IT WORKED! woo! i felt bad tho because like me and nikki hadda go back to get everyone and cole was being fucking retarded and shit...so like everyones being REALLY retarded in the car and like i think andy got all pissed a bit cuz i was basicaly ignorning him...i wasnt ignoring him but i think thats what he thought because everyone kept talking to me but whatever becasue we finally got to the party and i took off so i could talk to mr. wonderful :) it was seriously the greatest phone conversation i ever had...we talked about so much and i dont think i laughed as much as i did...so then i guess there were these mexicans and shit that wanted to kill us..i still think it was a reason to make me sit around them...so fucking what i didnt want to talk to them...so like yea we talked a bit longer...sam asked who it was and i was like andy and shes like is that your boyfriend and i was like no and shes like yea not yet anyway :) she was right!! anyway...i got off the phone with him and went inside...booze literally shoved down my throat...the last thing i remember is telling josh to make me another drink...and i guess i called andy...like 3 times and left voicemails lmao...well its not a i guess...i know i did hahaha...its all good so like yea...homecoming nite was very interesting...VERY interesting...i ended up sleeping outside and shit cuz shawns a asshole..fucker...whatever...so then yesterday i had a massive hangover and shit and i was tired all day and i talked to andy today and me and him figured everything out and im seriously the happiest ive been in a while becasue 1. i know hes real and not gonna turn into this big asshole who doesnt give a shit and 2. hes fucking amazing and i love him to death :) so like yea that was bascially yesterday and today was just plain shitty...i almost got thrown into the hospital...i cut my finger and it hurts so bad right now...its all black and blue and stuff and then i burned my hand and like a hour ago for no reason i got a bloody nose but since about 10 mins ago im a wittle better mood...so yea thats bascially the past 4 days...very eventful and alot has changed...im not drinking again for a while...i dont like not rememerbing shit when i wake up lmao

ilya

i hate when people say i can get anyone i want...its like so far from the truth...what i want is in RI and i cant get it even if i try more then anyone in the world...like literally 6 people today 'your so hott you could get any guy you wanted' its like annoying almost because i know i cant get the one i want :( i just hope that we do end up moving back to mass
last post
17 years ago
posts
3
views
932
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.052 seconds on machine '5'.