Ladygem's blog: "About me"

for someone who tried to be my mother when my own mother can't be there for me. I hope you are reading lady because I love you.

Sometimes I push people away it appears

But it is me pushing my own self away and in turn colliding

with anyone who might reach out

I do not want you to feel or see what I do

No. Trust me it hurts too much...

Something happened

I don't know when

for how could I not notice

That one day the music went away.

A profound absense strikes me.

Once a chord, a song matched with every point in time and space

Dovetailing...

I want to hear the music again.

Anything but the shrill silence.

But to one who tried to reach out

I don't know how to apologize

I got scared and ran like hell

Not from you, but from letting you hear

Any more of one story.

A wise woman tells me

I must have mercy on me first.

To get to that place of forgiveness and let other people go.

She claims each of us has a counterpart

Portion of the world to us

And that when we heal ourself

We heal all of us.

All are one.

So would it be wrong to ask someone else

to take me to the music.

Or am I alone.